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Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question
At some point as we age, we will have to make a decision about leaving our homes and downsizing. Maybe in our own town or to another town. Maybe to smaller home, condo, apartment, or assisted living/senior community.
When the time comes to downsize, seniors can struggle with a multitude of emotional, physical, and financial challenges.
How do you make an informed decision about when to downsize?
What tips do you have to share?
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@sueinmn Good thoughts here! Is this something you and your husband are considering?
Ginger
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2 ReactionsHi there @sueinmn, yes I have tried some of these options. And my life has certainly changed. Jay and I had been going back and forth between my mountain home in Idyllwild to Adam's Landing here in St. Cloud. Two summers ago in 2018, with the realization that my known health conditions were progressing, leaving me in greater pain and discomfort, I decided to perform a test. I flew back to the mountain with the goal of seeing if I could manage by myself for a month. Living in a valley at the top of a mountain range brings with it lots of unusual living life issues. Everything is "off the hill" especially medical facilities.
My granddaughter drove me up from San Diego and I settled in. Within a week or so the five plume fire was created by an arsonist. I was sitting playing mahjongg with friends when I got the call to evacuate.
I struggled with all of the evacuation details and found it difficult to get all the hot embers off my decks, refrigerators emptied and contents lugged to the transfer station, AKA the dump. So....we assessed our options and chose to sell my mountain home. The home we have in Minnesota lends itself to "aging in place". There is a guest suite that can be used for us when we need daily care. The main floor can accommodate the laundry in the overflow pantry. And we are planning a "kitchenette" for the guest suite.
Here's the great part.....I feel light as a feather. The house sold immediately while Jay was still doing 5 days a week of proton therapy at Mayo and we were staying at Hope Lodge. My friends face timed me and I made "stay or go" decisions remotely. We left Mayo and flew to CA with 3 days left before the close. So....not much of the sorting and decision making was left to be done. And emotionally, I held it all together.
My home was filled with art from my gallery and there was so much entertaining "stuff" because I would have 75 folks come for up close and personal evenings with my artists. I also had an office and studio for my design clients.
I gave all of it away.....to customers, friends and families of friends. There is great joy in giving. The coffee shop needed a microwave and the newspaper office needed a shredder. A newly married young couple needed furniture. Customers wanted pieces from their favorite artists. Although I think about some of the "released" items once in a while.....I am very comfortable living without the closets of objects that I had collected over the years. I have one box of keepsakes......my grandfather's pocket watch and a few envelopes with family history treasures. That's enough.
May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
Chris
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4 Reactions@sueinmn, Super suggestions and some are what I started practicing in earnest a couple of years ago.
Like many of you industrious warriors, though, who seemed to become energized by spending more time at home these last months, I developed this covid fog in which larger home projects became more instead of less daunting. With recycle and donation drop offs closed, I lost the incentive to cull and fill donate bags. Some of those have now reopened which has put me back on track for larger culling endeavors.
A few years ago, I started placing a large leaf bag in each bedroom closet, utility room and garage. Like other bags in the garage for cans, glass and paper recycle, I find it convenient to add to those bags because they signal they are "ever ready".
Before Covid, I'd begun accepting that I couldn't spend as much time or effort in the yard due to less energy and began slowly "revising" my landscape to make it less labor intensive. This was/is a difficult challenge because my yard has been/is my passion and nirvana. However, this year's fall landscape looks markedly different from that just a year ago. There are fewer perennials and shrubs, more space between plantings and a great deal more mulch overall.
While K.I.S.S.(keep it simple silly) has been the opposite of most of my life endeavors, I am now beginning to appreciate the results of paring down and reducing the landscape work.
Additionally, I begin reducing the number of investment holdings and that has saved time in tracking and reporting at tax time. Fewer quarterly reports from fewer financial institutions results in a win for me.
"Simplifying" is a great "user friendly" word and one I'm becoming better and better friends with. Thank you for suggesting it to all!
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3 Reactions@artscaping, Courageous you for "testing" your ability and ease in living in living alone in your mtn. home. What a difficult and time pressing endeavor it must have been for you to evacuate due to the encroaching fire!
Your "aging in place" MN home sounds ideal with more plans ahead and that you managed the relocation with your unbelievable altruistic sharing nearly brings me to tears. Every recipient of your largess will remember your generosity and thank you for years to come. What a model you set for us and others! Thank you.
Best of all is your feeling "light as a feather" having so much less to take care of and manage!
Your "one box of treasures" brought vividly to mind my going through my dad's things following his death. He had one small black metal lock box in which he kept legal docs, a few family photos of his early years and family and a few other keepsakes. How many times since have I thought of that small "treasure box" as I added more files to cabinets, more photos to albums and reread some of my mom's weekly letters before letting them go. Only four from my dad to me but how very dear.
Chris, thank you for this inspirational post. Wishing you and all health and safety going forward.
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3 Reactions@davej, I like that idea. When your parents re-gifted your childhood possessions in little packages periodically, did that open the door for lovely memories, discussion and the ability to either give it away or keep it?
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3 ReactionsWhat a great inspiration! It makes me even more determined to downsize as much as I can & try to stay here. My son-in-law feels like we can move our laundry & my (downsized) sewing space to the main floor bedroom if needed, and turn the lower level into a self-contained apartment (which it was when the house was built 50 years ago.) He even has an idea how to install an elevator from the garage to both upper & lower levels if needed.
I am determined to give away whatever I can. We are in the awesome & fortunate position of not needing the money that might be generated selling our "stuff" so I prefer to pass it on. We have accumulated way more that we need, and I have never been particularly attached to physical possessions, so I don't feel much loss in letting go. I fear that is not so for the other guy here, but he is trying. Interestingly, I just got a message from my daughter that now that she is working from home, and can see how much "stuff" is there, she is diligently clearing out as well. She invited us for supper tomorrow to see her progress.
Sue
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4 Reactions@sueinmn When we moved up here, things came up a truck/utility trailer at a time, about every 5-6 weeks. I was thrilled when there was not much here, although it did feel a bit like camping out. But I had my crafting things, a table that doubled as dining and crafting areas, a loveseat with side table, and enough basic pots/pans/diningware to get by. As time went by, I nixed somethings to be moved, so we have a fairly open feel to this small 1200' house. There is still a certain number of things to be considered for donation, and the plan is to give it another 6-9 months, since I was here almost entirely by myself from July 2019 to June 2020. Right now it seems I am on the purging kick, while my husband is more reluctant.
Ginger
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2 ReactionsThe boxes didnt mean much to me. I dont like to keep 5th grade math tests or 3 grade art projects ect. The clothes that were in the boxes went to rags. it was not so overwhelming for my parents to go thru and have the memories and it was easy for me to pick thru and discard. Little by little as the small boxes leave my parents house it makes it so much easier to clean.
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3 ReactionsIs your husband reluctant because it's a big job or to many memories? My recommendation is just have him start small, 1 shelf or bookcase or go thru a corner in the garage. Keep reminding him if he doesn't do it someone else will that might not know the value or what something is used for. Work on it with him like a team and give him a reward for his work and see how that goes good luck dave
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3 ReactionsGood morning @sueinmn, So you are the lady with "strong determination"? Yes ma'am. We have a member of our sangha who has the strongest determination we have seen. I'm not that good.
I also remember my realtor wanted to call in estate liquidators and I just told my friends Chris and GiGi to get going.....let's give it all away. I don't want to see something selling for $50 that I paid $500 for. I would rather give it to someone who pays more than $500 in attention and appreciation of the piece.
You got me though......when you mentioned elevator. I was given a gift by the benefactors for the community center. It was for all of my marketing efforts for six or seven years and "get ready"....................you saw it here.........it was an elevator. I had 16 steps and then I had none. Guess who joyfully went to the garage to get anything or reset the sprinklers when the water became less available as summer wore on? I did. And now guess what I miss the most.....yep....my elevator. However, the brother and sister who bought the house were delighted that their 92-year-old mother would be able to live in the mountains because of my elevator. I even left them an amazing built-in video wall and a flat-screen TV so that their Mom would have entertainment on demand. That made my heart sing too.
What do we leave behind when the time comes.....only our legacy. And I wanted mine to be about loving-kindness and compassion. Still working on it.
May you have the happiest of days.
Chris
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