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Mentor

How do you accept change as you age?

Posted by Scott, Volunteer Mentor @IndianaScott, Apr 8, 2020

Aging and accepting our changes is never easy!

One of my favorite sayings is ‘it’s a good thing our children grow older, but parents don’t!’ Often I wish this was true and while it’s a positive message, not our reality.

Like it or not, time and life take their toll on us and we change. However accepting these changes can be a challenge in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Both physically and emotionally I might add.

I remember well after caring for my wife for the first seven years of her war with brain cancer my dad passed away and I was able to get to his memorial service. I was very excited to see our two grandsons and decided being ‘as young as you feel’, and wanting to make up for lost time entered into a rousing game of Freeze Tag in the hotel’s front yard. All went well until I made too fast a deke and found myself flying across far more sod than I should have been! Result? Four broken ribs, a painfully long recovery, and a reminder I’m not as agile as I once was!

I also realize that the realistic view of our age is not relegated to ourselves alone. I’ve spoken with our adult children about this and they have said they don’t really see me as aging, but just as ‘Dad’, who they want to do all the same things with they have done in the past. On the other hand, our grandsons see me as ‘grandpa’ and are comfortable ‘just having me around’ especially if there happens to be a Dairy Queen nearby!

So it is I‘ve begun to think more about the importance of accepting the changes and limitations imposed on us as we advance in age. While I’m not cashing in any chips I don’t need to, I have found I do avoid a few challenges I used to gladly accept. For instance last summer I went whitewater rafting on some Class V rapids. After almost drowning, I have forgone any return trips to rivers with this class of rapids. I swim well, just not as far and as long as I used to be able to while fully clothed and in heavy gear.

While I miss those rapids and full contact Freeze Tag, I know why my grandmother often told me ‘discretion is the better part of valor’.

As you age, are you practicing discretion, even when you wish you didn’t have to? Is it hard like it is for me?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

virgo1952 | @virgo1952 | Apr 12, 2020
In reply to @hopeful33250 "Hello @rose1950, and welcome to Mayo Connect. What brought you to Connect? I agree that living..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

Hello @rose1950, and welcome to Mayo Connect. What brought you to Connect? I agree that living life at a slower pace is a definite grace associated with aging! It is one that I enjoy. I ran too much in my younger days.

@virgo1952 My first experience with cross country skiing was a disaster as well. I kept falling and then finally started laughing!

What a beautiful example of aging with grace, @beatricefay!

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It’s the only thing you have left-laughter. Cross country skiing, - nobody told me it would a lesson in “keeping your ego in check”. Slap stick comedy. Thanks for sharing

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bill54321 | @bill54321 | Apr 12, 2020

Thank you. I intend to( google what I said) Happy Easter. PS Include google on home made apple Cider with Mother.

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virgo1952 | @virgo1952 | Apr 12, 2020

Are you a Virgo? It’s like looking in the mirror. (Google that)

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virgo1952 | @virgo1952 | Apr 12, 2020

Alright!!!. One of mine. Earth signs rule !!!!

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Mentor
Dana, Volunteer Mentor | @danab | Apr 12, 2020
In reply to @bill54321 "I am 90 yrs old yesterday. One change, eat more nuts, fruit, make your own meals,..." + (show)
@bill54321

I am 90 yrs old yesterday. One change, eat more nuts, fruit, make your own meals, go to honey,garlic, flaxseed oil, Himalayan pink salt water hydration, lean meatr, testosterone gel RX and avoid corn frutose sweeteners, no diet drinks, make your own coconut water, lemon, and orange squeeze, mixed and chilled or sparkling maker added, meals on wheels, no sugars except 1/2 teaspoon mallases oalcrystles, Walk every day, do recliner chair exercises, use an up-walker instead od plain walker, use u-tube for movies, use channel on new words to use. google mayo clinic group participation, say money for yourself, Be a
VFW member, participate in facebook. BE PRO ACTIVE IN HEATH DECISIONS. After all, don;t you have an informed google opinion? Remember, you have not earned the right to die early from cancer or organ disease. Job and Solomon lived to 140 yrs. old. Why? food and exercise.

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@bill54321I love you post and some great advice. I too especially like my walks for exercise but also just a nice time to listen to my favorite Bible stories and meditate on things.

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Apr 12, 2020
In reply to @montanatrace "Our appearance is first to change. We see through it but the younger people see the..." + (show)
@montanatrace

Our appearance is first to change. We see through it but the younger people see the age in the face and body as near worn out and think the mind and spirit is too.

What might be lost or slowed in quick thinking, is more than made up for, by experience. Give me a minute to search my memory for that lost word or whatever else I’m trying to think of and I’ll provide insight that others don’t have.

Think of us as Yoda or a great Indian Chief.

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Wise words, @montanatrace. The insight of experience fills in the gaps of a memory that is less quick. I like that.

Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I look forward to learning more about you. How did you discover Mayo Clinic Connect? What are your tips for staying healthy as well as wise?

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featherstep1 | @featherstep1 | Apr 12, 2020

Age 69 male here who had CABGx4 in 2009, I've been fine since then. I exercise at the YMCA M-F with a combination of weight machines and walking on the treadmill 30-60 minutes. Since everything is closed due to Covid-19 I really miss my exercise. I read where we should continue exercise programs at home: 15 sit-ups, 15 pushups, 15 jumping jacks, etc...so I started with 5 sit-ups and 1 pushup (haven't done these for decades). I'm up to 15 sit-ups and 3 pushups today (I know, doesn't sound like much of anything). The plan is to continue increasing every day. Just hope things open up before I reach 100. Be safe everybody.

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1 reply
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Apr 12, 2020
In reply to @featherstep1 "Age 69 male here who had CABGx4 in 2009, I've been fine since then. I exercise..." + (show)
@featherstep1

Age 69 male here who had CABGx4 in 2009, I've been fine since then. I exercise at the YMCA M-F with a combination of weight machines and walking on the treadmill 30-60 minutes. Since everything is closed due to Covid-19 I really miss my exercise. I read where we should continue exercise programs at home: 15 sit-ups, 15 pushups, 15 jumping jacks, etc...so I started with 5 sit-ups and 1 pushup (haven't done these for decades). I'm up to 15 sit-ups and 3 pushups today (I know, doesn't sound like much of anything). The plan is to continue increasing every day. Just hope things open up before I reach 100. Be safe everybody.

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Hello @featherstep1 and welcome to Mayo Connect. It sounds as if you have developed a very healthy exercise program since your CABG in 2009. Many of us are missing the Y and other group exercise programs. There are a lot of good exercise programs on Youtube. You might take a look at those as well.

How are you feeling with this new exercise program?

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1 reply
featherstep1 | @featherstep1 | Apr 12, 2020
In reply to @hopeful33250 "Hello @featherstep1 and welcome to Mayo Connect. It sounds as if you have developed a very..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

Hello @featherstep1 and welcome to Mayo Connect. It sounds as if you have developed a very healthy exercise program since your CABG in 2009. Many of us are missing the Y and other group exercise programs. There are a lot of good exercise programs on Youtube. You might take a look at those as well.

How are you feeling with this new exercise program?

Jump to this post

I've been doing a lot of deep cleaning of the house to replace the exercise I'm missing (I know, not really a good substitute)...so I'll check out YouTube for some exercise programs. I've been on YouTube quite a bit, but for entertainment purposes mainly. Enjoying classical music and opera's. Listening to Orquestra de la Luz [salsa band] right now.

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