How do you accept change as you age?

Posted by Scott, Volunteer Mentor @IndianaScott, Wed, Apr 8 1:40pm

Aging and accepting our changes is never easy!

One of my favorite sayings is ‘it’s a good thing our children grow older, but parents don’t!’ Often I wish this was true and while it’s a positive message, not our reality.

Like it or not, time and life take their toll on us and we change. However accepting these changes can be a challenge in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Both physically and emotionally I might add.

I remember well after caring for my wife for the first seven years of her war with brain cancer my dad passed away and I was able to get to his memorial service. I was very excited to see our two grandsons and decided being ‘as young as you feel’, and wanting to make up for lost time entered into a rousing game of Freeze Tag in the hotel’s front yard. All went well until I made too fast a deke and found myself flying across far more sod than I should have been! Result? Four broken ribs, a painfully long recovery, and a reminder I’m not as agile as I once was!

I also realize that the realistic view of our age is not relegated to ourselves alone. I’ve spoken with our adult children about this and they have said they don’t really see me as aging, but just as ‘Dad’, who they want to do all the same things with they have done in the past. On the other hand, our grandsons see me as ‘grandpa’ and are comfortable ‘just having me around’ especially if there happens to be a Dairy Queen nearby!

So it is I‘ve begun to think more about the importance of accepting the changes and limitations imposed on us as we advance in age. While I’m not cashing in any chips I don’t need to, I have found I do avoid a few challenges I used to gladly accept. For instance last summer I went whitewater rafting on some Class V rapids. After almost drowning, I have forgone any return trips to rivers with this class of rapids. I swim well, just not as far and as long as I used to be able to while fully clothed and in heavy gear.

While I miss those rapids and full contact Freeze Tag, I know why my grandmother often told me ‘discretion is the better part of valor’.

As you age, are you practicing discretion, even when you wish you didn’t have to? Is it hard like it is for me?

@IndianaScott

Thanks @barbb Here she is today. She's a handful at times, but all in all a solid addition to my life 🙂 Here name is Napa.

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Such a sweet looking dog, @IndianaScott. How much does he weigh now?

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@barbb

Hello Ginger, As a part time user of a cane (nighttime and rough terrain ) I love your idea for the new use of a cane in these times!

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@barbb When you come to think of it, a cane is a pretty useful tool as a self-defense weapon in many different types of situations. I have had training in martial arts, and we used short sticks. Also, I did weaponless defense training with a law enforcement agency, and was able to show them some tricks I had using a cane. It was something that they had not thought too much about so it was a real eye-opener for them!
Ginger

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@gingerw

@hopeful33250 I use adjustable trekking poles when I go for a walk. One for balance since I have a bad right knee, two for helping me get a more steady stride, and 3 it is a good deterrent for dogs or critters approaching that I don't want to come closer.

Did I tell you that I use my cane as a personal protection equipment in the stores? I can wave it around if I want to and say, "this is my six feet to stay away from people and stay away from me!"
Ginger

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I am addressing my question to you as a mentor. Someone on I think this thread said they use Nordic hiking poles which are adjustable and now I can't find who made that statement. I have a question for them. Can you possibly help me find them?

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@barbb

I am addressing my question to you as a mentor. Someone on I think this thread said they use Nordic hiking poles which are adjustable and now I can't find who made that statement. I have a question for them. Can you possibly help me find them?

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Hi @barbb,

While I never mentioned it, I do see that the Nordic hiking poles are adjustable.

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@gingerw

@barbb When you come to think of it, a cane is a pretty useful tool as a self-defense weapon in many different types of situations. I have had training in martial arts, and we used short sticks. Also, I did weaponless defense training with a law enforcement agency, and was able to show them some tricks I had using a cane. It was something that they had not thought too much about so it was a real eye-opener for them!
Ginger

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Hey Ginger. What system did you train under? I got involved in my mid 20’s and stopped when I had an accident (37-38 yrs) shattered my leg and couldn’t take the beatings. My main system I trained in was Kajukenbo and TumPai but as you ranked you were expected to expand your understanding of the art by incorporating other schools of martial arts. In the school I was in, you learned weaponry. I took the iron fan as my signature weapon and had to put together a kata/form using the weapon. Like you. our local policemen attended weaponry classes. In fact, three of the students became police officers. Did you learn any other weaponry or rank? I competed in fighting. Did you do any of that? I’d love to hear about It. I don’t run into too many women (in our age group) that had martial training virgo 1952

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I wanted to know what the advantage of adjustable poles might be and I don't expect you to know. That's why I was trying to find the person who made the comment.

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@barbb

I am addressing my question to you as a mentor. Someone on I think this thread said they use Nordic hiking poles which are adjustable and now I can't find who made that statement. I have a question for them. Can you possibly help me find them?

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@barbb I got mine at Wal-Mart. I am sure there are many places you can go, be it there, or any sporting goods section of a store. Mine have a metal tip to use on trails, to dig into soil and shale, but the pair I have come with a cover for use on sidewalks or pavement. Hope this helps.
Ginger

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@barbb

I wanted to know what the advantage of adjustable poles might be and I don't expect you to know. That's why I was trying to find the person who made the comment.

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@barbb Having an adjustable pole means more people can use them! A 5-foot 4-inch person is going to have a Nordic pole adjusted differently than a 6-foot person. Also, you find a comfort level of the height you want to use them at. I have also seen several people who use a single Nordic pole like a cane or staff for everyday walking. The poles I have, have markings on them so you can make each pole the same height as the other one if you want to.
Ginger

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@virgo1952

Hey Ginger. What system did you train under? I got involved in my mid 20’s and stopped when I had an accident (37-38 yrs) shattered my leg and couldn’t take the beatings. My main system I trained in was Kajukenbo and TumPai but as you ranked you were expected to expand your understanding of the art by incorporating other schools of martial arts. In the school I was in, you learned weaponry. I took the iron fan as my signature weapon and had to put together a kata/form using the weapon. Like you. our local policemen attended weaponry classes. In fact, three of the students became police officers. Did you learn any other weaponry or rank? I competed in fighting. Did you do any of that? I’d love to hear about It. I don’t run into too many women (in our age group) that had martial training virgo 1952

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@virgo52 I trained under Chuck Norris's stunt double back in the 80s. It was a mix of a karate form and jiu-jitsu. I had to quit before I went too far, because my mind could not separate that practices were not an actual self-defense situation for real. The first time I had a one-on-one challenge with instructor's assistant, I almost put him in the hospital. In doing Tai Chi Chuan (Yang Family Long Style) which is actually a martial art, I also practiced with wooden swords in the advanced training. I was the "token female" in 24 student weaponless defense training class for a small police dept. They took bets I wouldn't last the first day. I did (4) eight hr days in a row, and earned not only their respect, but some awesome black-and-blue bruises!
Ginger

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Oh yay! I totally get it. You’ve done awesome stuff. Self control is part of it. Got a few broken bones and a whole lot of bruises due to my fault and others (lack of control) There were three women in my school and on the training floor nobody made amends for your gender or size. I feel like I earned every belt based on my ability and guts. I took that energy into my profession and held my own in a board room of men, who tried to place a “ glass ceiling” on my professional journey. Eventually, I was given the opportunity to run a women’s group (women in transition) where I hoped I was able to encourage the group and grow in my personal life. So, who says we don’t train everyday, huh? I’m pleased to meet you, Ginger. Thank you for sharing your story. You may have heard of Professor Emperado. He was instrumental in establishing Kajukenbo and may have meet your instructor. Small world

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@gingerw

@virgo52 I trained under Chuck Norris's stunt double back in the 80s. It was a mix of a karate form and jiu-jitsu. I had to quit before I went too far, because my mind could not separate that practices were not an actual self-defense situation for real. The first time I had a one-on-one challenge with instructor's assistant, I almost put him in the hospital. In doing Tai Chi Chuan (Yang Family Long Style) which is actually a martial art, I also practiced with wooden swords in the advanced training. I was the "token female" in 24 student weaponless defense training class for a small police dept. They took bets I wouldn't last the first day. I did (4) eight hr days in a row, and earned not only their respect, but some awesome black-and-blue bruises!
Ginger

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Wow, @gingerw!

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Our appearance is first to change. We see through it but the younger people see the age in the face and body as near worn out and think the mind and spirit is too.

What might be lost or slowed in quick thinking, is more than made up for, by experience. Give me a minute to search my memory for that lost word or whatever else I’m trying to think of and I’ll provide insight that others don’t have.

Think of us as Yoda or a great Indian Chief.

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@hopeful33250

Such a sweet looking dog, @IndianaScott. How much does he weigh now?

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She has plateaued at between 58 and 60 pounds, @hopeful33250

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@gingerw

@barbb I got mine at Wal-Mart. I am sure there are many places you can go, be it there, or any sporting goods section of a store. Mine have a metal tip to use on trails, to dig into soil and shale, but the pair I have come with a cover for use on sidewalks or pavement. Hope this helps.
Ginger

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Thanks Ginger it is helpful yo know the tips come wit a cover – for sidewalks!

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@IndianaScott

Hi @hopeful33250 I see quite a few folks, especially in Minnesota, using them. Personally I don't. but we have an elliptical machine, which gives an arm workout too, so I'd think they'd be a solid idea! Maybe then you can take up cross country skiing in the winters!

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I like cross country skiing until I fall and then can't get back up without taking one ski off! One time I couldn't get the ski off the boot and had to take off the boot too. Luckily I wasn't far from my car. I have been thinking about getting an elliptical machine. What brand do you have?

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