How do you accept change as you age?

Posted by Scott, Volunteer Mentor @IndianaScott, Apr 8, 2020

Aging and accepting our changes is never easy!

One of my favorite sayings is ‘it’s a good thing our children grow older, but parents don’t!’ Often I wish this was true and while it’s a positive message, not our reality.

Like it or not, time and life take their toll on us and we change. However accepting these changes can be a challenge in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Both physically and emotionally I might add.

I remember well after caring for my wife for the first seven years of her war with brain cancer my dad passed away and I was able to get to his memorial service. I was very excited to see our two grandsons and decided being ‘as young as you feel’, and wanting to make up for lost time entered into a rousing game of Freeze Tag in the hotel’s front yard. All went well until I made too fast a deke and found myself flying across far more sod than I should have been! Result? Four broken ribs, a painfully long recovery, and a reminder I’m not as agile as I once was!

I also realize that the realistic view of our age is not relegated to ourselves alone. I’ve spoken with our adult children about this and they have said they don’t really see me as aging, but just as ‘Dad’, who they want to do all the same things with they have done in the past. On the other hand, our grandsons see me as ‘grandpa’ and are comfortable ‘just having me around’ especially if there happens to be a Dairy Queen nearby!

So it is I‘ve begun to think more about the importance of accepting the changes and limitations imposed on us as we advance in age. While I’m not cashing in any chips I don’t need to, I have found I do avoid a few challenges I used to gladly accept. For instance last summer I went whitewater rafting on some Class V rapids. After almost drowning, I have forgone any return trips to rivers with this class of rapids. I swim well, just not as far and as long as I used to be able to while fully clothed and in heavy gear.

While I miss those rapids and full contact Freeze Tag, I know why my grandmother often told me ‘discretion is the better part of valor’.

As you age, are you practicing discretion, even when you wish you didn’t have to? Is it hard like it is for me?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@hopeful33250

Hi All:

I've been reading all of your posts about exercising. However, I feel a bit like a wimp after reading your testimonials. I have heard about (and seen) older folks walking with Nordic walking poles? I'm tempted to try it as it represents a whole body work-out (especially the upper body). Here is a link to an article from the Mayo Clinic website, https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/expert-answers/walking-poles/faq-20057943

Just wondering if anyone has tried this before and how it works for you.

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@hopeful33250 I use adjustable trekking poles when I go for a walk. One for balance since I have a bad right knee, two for helping me get a more steady stride, and 3 it is a good deterrent for dogs or critters approaching that I don't want to come closer.

Did I tell you that I use my cane as a personal protection equipment in the stores? I can wave it around if I want to and say, "this is my six feet to stay away from people and stay away from me!"
Ginger

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@barbb

Love your story !!

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Thanks @barbb Here she is today. She's a handful at times, but all in all a solid addition to my life 🙂 Here name is Napa.

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Adorable! Beautiful looking coat! Looks like she must have ha shampoo very recently!

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@gingerw

@hopeful33250 I use adjustable trekking poles when I go for a walk. One for balance since I have a bad right knee, two for helping me get a more steady stride, and 3 it is a good deterrent for dogs or critters approaching that I don't want to come closer.

Did I tell you that I use my cane as a personal protection equipment in the stores? I can wave it around if I want to and say, "this is my six feet to stay away from people and stay away from me!"
Ginger

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Hello Ginger, As a part time user of a cane (nighttime and rough terrain ) I love your idea for the new use of a cane in these times!

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@IndianaScott

Hi @hopeful33250 I see quite a few folks, especially in Minnesota, using them. Personally I don't. but we have an elliptical machine, which gives an arm workout too, so I'd think they'd be a solid idea! Maybe then you can take up cross country skiing in the winters!

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Don't think so, @IndianaScott, I really don't like breathing in cold air😞

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@IndianaScott

Thanks @barbb Here she is today. She's a handful at times, but all in all a solid addition to my life 🙂 Here name is Napa.

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Such a sweet looking dog, @IndianaScott. How much does he weigh now?

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@barbb

Hello Ginger, As a part time user of a cane (nighttime and rough terrain ) I love your idea for the new use of a cane in these times!

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@barbb When you come to think of it, a cane is a pretty useful tool as a self-defense weapon in many different types of situations. I have had training in martial arts, and we used short sticks. Also, I did weaponless defense training with a law enforcement agency, and was able to show them some tricks I had using a cane. It was something that they had not thought too much about so it was a real eye-opener for them!
Ginger

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@gingerw

@hopeful33250 I use adjustable trekking poles when I go for a walk. One for balance since I have a bad right knee, two for helping me get a more steady stride, and 3 it is a good deterrent for dogs or critters approaching that I don't want to come closer.

Did I tell you that I use my cane as a personal protection equipment in the stores? I can wave it around if I want to and say, "this is my six feet to stay away from people and stay away from me!"
Ginger

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I am addressing my question to you as a mentor. Someone on I think this thread said they use Nordic hiking poles which are adjustable and now I can't find who made that statement. I have a question for them. Can you possibly help me find them?

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@barbb

I am addressing my question to you as a mentor. Someone on I think this thread said they use Nordic hiking poles which are adjustable and now I can't find who made that statement. I have a question for them. Can you possibly help me find them?

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Hi @barbb,

While I never mentioned it, I do see that the Nordic hiking poles are adjustable.

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@gingerw

@barbb When you come to think of it, a cane is a pretty useful tool as a self-defense weapon in many different types of situations. I have had training in martial arts, and we used short sticks. Also, I did weaponless defense training with a law enforcement agency, and was able to show them some tricks I had using a cane. It was something that they had not thought too much about so it was a real eye-opener for them!
Ginger

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Hey Ginger. What system did you train under? I got involved in my mid 20’s and stopped when I had an accident (37-38 yrs) shattered my leg and couldn’t take the beatings. My main system I trained in was Kajukenbo and TumPai but as you ranked you were expected to expand your understanding of the art by incorporating other schools of martial arts. In the school I was in, you learned weaponry. I took the iron fan as my signature weapon and had to put together a kata/form using the weapon. Like you. our local policemen attended weaponry classes. In fact, three of the students became police officers. Did you learn any other weaponry or rank? I competed in fighting. Did you do any of that? I’d love to hear about It. I don’t run into too many women (in our age group) that had martial training virgo 1952

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