Husband (43) showing signs of Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI): Anyone?

I'm 81 and Judy is 79. We just celebrated our 56th wedding anniversary last week! I grew up on farms in Chickasaw County, Iowa and she grew up around Dayton, Ohio. I always say "Country boy meets city girl! And it looks like this just might work out okay. So far, so good!

I have read your comments and my heart goes out so much to you and your husband. You both have been through so much. I am often amazed at what individuals are able to do and persevere.

I have benefitted from my caregivers support group and one of the things that I learned there that has helped me was the idea that if I want to be of good help to my loved one, I really need to focus on taking good care of myself. Often the caregiver gets ill or dies before the care receiver. Putting that negative idea aside, it's still true that as a caregiver you have lots of stressful things going on in your life right now, and it's important that you take good care of yourself (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.) I realize I'm saying a little more than I really know right now but I hope some of this might be helpful to you.

Another idea that I've picked up over the years is that caregivers often feel guilty about something they did or failed to do. In my case, I was walking with Judy along a pebbly lane and she fell and broke her hip about 4 years ago. I really felt guilty about that because I was the one responsible for protecting her at that time. Later someone (our support group moderator) said to me and the others "We know one thing for sure, you are doing the best you can for your loved one. That's all you can do. Cut yourself some slack, like you would for a friend it that same situation."

I don't know of any online therapy resources but I will say that I have benefitted a great deal from therapy that I am getting for several years as a result of contacting the Aging and Long Term Care agency in my state. They recommended a counselor who takes military veterans and he has helped me a great deal over many years at no cost to me.

I wish the best for you and your husband.

Thank you so much. We have a plan with our PCP and are getting a referral to UCSF fir a second opinion. I am very grateful and hopeful that we will get good care and answers sooner then later. I have a great counselor myself and a good support team but yes I already struggle with over giving ( women in general) and am working on setting loving boundaries.

It takes a very strong person to ask for help.
We ALL need a ‘listening ear’ at some time in our lives.
Strength on your journey... and take care of you.

@fwentz Welcome to MayoClinicConnect and thank you for your wonderful message that you’ve given everyone! No one on MayoClinicConnect is a doctor and we don’t give medical advice, but messages like yours are so wonderful and helpful. I do hope you’ll stay with us!
Can you tell us a bit more about yourself and Judy. How long have you been a caregiver?

I've been a caregiver of my wife for probably about 10 years. A couple of years before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease in 2012 she frequently had fainting spells and also some memory and cognition issues. We had many appointments with some good doctors at the Polyclinic in Seattle. She was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment and, after tests exhausted all other possibilities, was examined for Alzheimer's Disease at Swedish Hospital in Seattle where she was diagnosed with AD. Doctors in Seattle and at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester weren't able to determine the cause of the fainting spells which sometimes looked a little like seizures. Her local cardiologist had her wear a holter monitor for a month and she had no fainting episodes that month. Doctors in Seattle and Rochester also had her wear holter monitors for short periods and there were no episodes then.

Finally in late 2012 when she was in a local hospital for examinations for some "seizures" in Richland, WA, she happened to have a holter monitor on when her heart stopped for about 11 seconds and she had bradycardia (abnormally low heart rate). Since receiving the pacemaker she has had no more fainting spells or "seizures".

She also fell and broke her hip in 2015. The surgery and rehab went very well but there was some intense caregiving for a few months.

This will probably sound strange but I think Judy is in quite good health now other than the Alzheimer's Disease. My point is that her physical health has been quite good over the past 10 years other than the need for a pacemaker, her fall, and the AD. Caregiving tasks were quite light in 2010-14. They were moderate from 2015-2017. From 2018 on the disease seems to be slowly accelerating and now is very demanding. I have an in-home caregiver come here twice a week from 9am to noon. My daughter lives here and telecommutes to work at her Seattle employer 230 miles away. She is a big help although she has good discipline to be at work in her bedroom/office from 9 to 5, and is able to "come home for lunch". The hallway walk is easier than I-5 in Seattle would be!

I'd like to take this opportunity to say that I have a very high regard for the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. My brother worked in the statistics department there for over 45 years and still lives nearby. He and his wife have given us many great tours of the place, including going up in the Plummer Building. We enjoyed staying at their place for a week or two when Judy was having tests done at the Clinic and many other times over the years.

Hello all. It is not officially diagnosed but our most recent MRI showed tiny bleeds from the small vessels in my husbands brain. He also has stage 3 kidney disease. The radiologist is speculating Amyloid Angiopathy which is devastating as this was what the original ER doc told me with tears in his eyes 7 months ago.

Does anyone have any experience with Amyloid Angiopathy?

Husband 72 has been given an MCI diagnosis but is in complete denial. Insists his condition is just normal aging and refuses to make any changes to our lifestyle. How do I talk to him about some changes, like me getting involved in the finances, his extreme sensitivity to communications? I desperately want to be supportive but he tells me I am constantly putting him down and take away his confidence.

I have been where u r now. My husband diagnosed mci and lewy body. He refused to believe also. He has messed up alit of bills. I have had to step in after never being allowed to. I got bills put on auto pymt. But now he is buying gummies to cure his dementia!! We got steve to sign durable poa to my son. He is mow in midst of changing all his credit card numbers. My husband will be allowed one with a limit on it. It is so stressful to go thru all of this. We worked all last summer to get steve to sign poas we had a friend who was a lawyer come to the house. My husband kept saying I was stealing all of his money. I kept telling him to pick whoever he wanted.
Just get it done. I go on his computer everyday and check his email. Also his messenger as he is buying stuff on market place face book and cancel and delete.
If u can get his passwords u can go on and learn what bills are.
I wish u good luck.
Everyday is a new day. Some good and some not!

My husband with MCI doesn't have as much empathy as he used to (which I thankfully learned on this site is because they are so focused on their own self and coping). That being said, would your husband be more on board if he understood how his diagnosis is affecting you and possibly others? Depends on how much empathy he has for you.
My husband is not in denial, but just doesn't realize these changes are happening. He says he is concerned because I am concerned.
Do you attend an in-person support group? Maybe your husband could go with you (mine does), so he can learn about issues that affect both of you.
Getting my husband to stop driving may be a struggle; we aren't there yet but getting closer.
Good luck to you, and hugs.