Heart Disease: Let’s Talk About the Emotional Side

@texas14 No, I did not check with my doctor before taking magnesium but did tell her soon after that adding this supplement relieved the excruciating muscle spasms that ran along my shin bones. My primary and my cardio and my physiatrist are now all on board and none indicated any concerns with the 500 Mg (or IU's?) that I am now taking. But thanks for the heads up. I shall research the side effects of too much magnesium so I am aware. We all need to be our own best advocates.

@degarden_girl Yes any supplements we take first ask your Dr for lab work to see what you need in supplements as it was suggested to you about magnesium but all others also . Good advice @texas14

I always check with my doctors on any supplement. I go to you amateurs (self included) for emotional support. I go to professionals for medical advice. LOL

As for magnesium, if you are a transplant patient, one of the immuno-suppressant drugs will leach magnesium out of your system. Magnesium is an essential electrolyte which means you have to have it for the nerves to fire properly. Low magnesium results in cramps. It is probably why Gatorade contains magnesium. I take 800mg a day and my weekly blood tests show my magnesium on the bottom end of the acceptable range. I would love to take some more as I do cramp now and then but my immuno-suppressant drugs are hard on my kidneys and too many supplements are also hard on the kidneys. It is okay if you eat foods high in magnesium like shelled pumpkin seeds. But large amounts of supplements can burden the body

The emotional side of having life threatening heart problems has been really tough, and I seldom hear people talk about it, including my cardiologist. I was told in 1990 that I had an aortic aneurysm but it wasn’t big enough to for the risk of having surgery yet, and that it was causing my afib and vtach events. I was put on a quarterly schedule for CT scans. I was an industrial automation engineer working for Mitsubishi Industrial Automation. It was the early days of computers being used in the industry, and every project that I had figuring how to automate a production line from margarine to missiles. I was so busy that I didn’t pay much attention to my arrhythmias and I absolutely didn’t want to know how big the aneurysm had grown when I went in for the CT scans. I knew that eventually it would be necessary to have open heart surgery to repair it, and I just couldn’t have that on my mind. It became an unavoidable concern when my daughter was born in 95 when I was 40 years old. I was moving up in the company as the computer technology grew. By 2000 I had put having heart surgery in the back of my mind because the aneurysm was growing so slowly. Then came the check up in the fall of 2000 and I was told that it was time and it needed to be done soon. It would be an aortic root surgery that involved putting in an artificial aorta with an artificial valve attached to the bottom of it. That totally took over my thoughts because I was expecting to hear “see you next year” like all the years before. My daughter was only 5 and I wondered if she would even remember me if things went wrong during the surgery. I had just been promoted and my career was moving along great. My cardiologist recommended using my internet skills to find a thoracic surgeon that had actually performed aortic root surgery. I got on the internet and found one here in Dallas, he was a professor at UTSW medical college. I had several surgeries before to fix my service connected problems and everything had always gone well. No complications and always a quick recovery, so I didn’t let myself to think about the “what if’s”. I didn’t put much thought about being put on an antidepressant just two weeks before the surgery and just after a failed ablation attempt. They said that it was because there was a heightened risk of suicides after open heart surgery. That didn’t make sense because why would a survivor want to kill the selves? The surgery actually went well and I only spent one night in the intensive care unit. A physical therapist came to see me that first morning and she just wanted me to sit on the edge of my bed and raise my arms a few times. I told her that things had changed and that I wasn’t feeling so good. She said that was normal so I sat on the edge of my bed and raised my arms. My heart stopped beating and I woke up back in the intensive care unit on a respirator. I was told that I had suffered a sudden cardiac death, SCD. That was the first of many complications. Everything from PE’s to infections that required opening me back up again. After another SCD they wired me up to an external pacemaker until I was well enough to have a defibrillator/pacemaker placed in my chest. I was released after six weeks and a few weeks later Mitsubishi gave me a six month severance pay. The antidepressants that they put me on as a precaution turned my mind upside down. Life as I knew it would never be the same, and I was definitely feeling the side effects of being on an the antidepressant that was only making things worse. Seeing commercial warnings of thoughts of suicide had a whole new meaning for me. After much experimentation and a couple of weeks in the nut house, it was determined that I’m just one of those who can’t take them, probably because I’m left handed! My wife divorced me the following year because I was a nut job. I had a host of arrhythmias that included SVT and I began to get shocked by my defibrillator at the worst time, like during an interview to get a new job. The emotional consequences were devastating. During an interview for a job in a local factory that I had automated, I discovered what EMI can do to a defibrillator. I was shocked when I opened the control cabinet that I designed and nearly fell inside of it. It angered me after reading about the proper procedures for putting someone on an antidepressant because of the thoughts of suicide and that it takes 6 weeks on one to really know it’s effects on a patient. I had no choice but to use the VA as I went through the thee year process of getting social security disability and a re-evaluation of my service connected disabilities. I think it’s hard for heart patients to talk to their loved ones about what’s going on in your mind and your fears of what the future holds. You don’t want them to be burdened or worried about your health. One of my daughter’s school teachers wanted me to see a paper that she wrote. It was about hearing the often radical ticking of my heart valve and wondered if I was going to be shocked again in front of her, and if I was running out of heartbeats. It crushed me, she was only ten years old. I made sure that she got some counseling but It seemed like every time I would make progress and get to feeling confident about getting through it, one of my arrhythmias would trigger another shock or just wear me out. I read another one of her papers written in high school and it revealed that while it still made her nervous, she had learned about excepting the unknown and to make everyday count. It’s been nearly 20 years now and I have made it to the important life events of my daughter like graduations including college. But I always felt like I was a distraction and a party pooper. The click click click of my artificial valve was a constant reminder to everyone that I was different. I used to tape a Kotex over my heart so that people couldn’t hear it if they got close. I don’t take for granted that I will see tomorrow, much less the joy of meeting any grand children. Being 65 with such pre-existing conditions during this pandemic has definitely heightened my anxiety. I have worked so hard to stay alive and now all it’s going to take is being exposed to some idiot that thinks that wearing a mask is a sign of weakness. Things have just recently made it very important that I keep doing my best, my little sister’s breast cancer has returned. I’m very thankful that technology allows me to stay connected to her. Talk about putting your troubles in perspective!

I'm so sorry that you have had such a hard time with things. Such an early diagnosis of the aneurysm must have been emotionally devastating. But it seems like you are effectively dealing with all the side effects of the surgery, have had years with your daughter that you wouldn't otherwise have had without the surgery. Every day is a blessing.

I send you best wishes.

Donna

I glad you took the time to write your story. Just getting it out of your head is cathartic. While that alone may not provide relief, this forum lets you know you are not alone. No one has all the answers, but we know our bodies pretty well. Let your instinct be your guide when taking any medications. Read all about them, talk to your doctor and tell you why you feel the way you do about any medication. They will find alternatives or depending on the condition you may not need it at all. Your health has caused some devastating effects on your life. Yet, here you are still standing! You will see more milestones with your daughter and your sister will get better. We are all sending you prayers and well wishes for your good health and peace of mind.

@dvdhoover It is hard. Especially with younger kids. I'm 37 (have had 3 heart attacks and am now listed as heart failure\advanced heart failure depending on which doc or er you ask) and have 6 kids ranging from 18-almost 2 (4 natural and 2 step) and you try to keep as much to yourself as you can cause you don't want or need them worrying. Even waiting for the ambulance during my first heart attack (about 6 am in the morning) i refused to let them come in and wake all the kids and get them all stirred up for my fiancé so i got out of bed and walked outside and waited in the front yard. I try to down play it to my fiancé a little cause she is an overly emotional person and i know she worries enough as it is (like when i fall asleep in my chair cause i'm just so worn out from doing nothing and she comes to check if i'm still breathing a few times). It weighs on a person. When your 10 year old wonders if your going to still be home when she gets out of school or 8 year old wanting you to play but afraid of what might happen if i do to much. They recently tried to put me on an anti-depressant which they warned me might make my palpitations worse, which it did so i no longer take them. I mean i'm no where near wanting to end anything but it is hard to deal with at times. Not knowing from day to day how many more i have with my kids and trying to make the most of them when even the simple act of being awake makes me tired. So going and doing most things ends up out of the question. Then trying to fight with disability cause i was told that being a junk yard mechanic and loader operator aren't things i can or should do anymore but they dont agree so no income limits things and only increase's the stress of everyday. In short, yes it's hard and without being in the position most can't understand no matter how much they sympathize. In ending, @dvdhoover i noticed you mentioned the VA and "service related issues" so i assume you served at some point and would like to thank you for that. My grandfather and uncle both did and hold it very high regards.

@dvdhoover. To have an aneurysm and surgery of that may times has meant your not ready yet to meet your maker yet. I had my triple by pass in the 90,s and everyday is a blessing I'm sure you fell that way also. I'm wondering everyday if I,ll see my grandson graduate he is 12 now ,college and marriage .With what you have gone through you give me hope that everyday is a gift

Hey shawnb2020, you’re incredible and a hero for getting up every day for those kids! There are others out there who, against some pretty big odds, just have kept on going, and probably appreciating every day in a way most people don’t. Be one of those people. Be a role model! Lots of us need you for just that! Thank you!

About cardiac issues. Probably about 98% of those reported are traceable to Genetic patterns, at least in part. I happen to have about 10 active genes which touch on the heart. So that is the first thing one should arrange at the first real sign of cardiac problems. Most of the good sequencers are now charging less than $400 for a good screening of the whole genome. And it is very simple. Also, various scans are very helpful, especially echocardiography, which is the easiest ant perhaps the best for many cardiac issues. And finally, a very good test is simple. "How do you feel?" Pain in the middle of your chest? does the top of your head get cold? Do you feel your heart pounding or fluttering or stuttering? How does your O2 level read at various places around your body--toes, fingers, ears, nose, tongue. Finally, af the local doc says you don't have any problems, you probably have a pile of them. And almost every person has some heart problem. Cardiomegaly, etc.