What do you do when someone is in denial about their hearing loss?

@julieo4, @91retiree I have Starkey hearing aids.. they fit over the ear, but because they are rechargeable I have a recharge box that I carry... It is about 2" high, and 3" x 4" (it has internal batteries to charge the hearing aid even when not plugged in). It is not easily misplaced.. There are magnetic docking stations for each hearing aid. You can get one of those finder chips to stick on to it ...but it is plugged into the charging station most of the time..
I am perfectly happy not hearing a lot of what goes on around me... a few times someone will be angered if I do not respond... but with that I have often said that a comment really wasn't warranted... as what they said was unimportant and not pertaining to the issue.. Now that I have good hearing aids and use them more, I realize that half of what folks say in conversation really doesn't make a difference... but it's nice so one can seem interested and courteous.

KEN82 @ how much Starkey aids cost? i saw there r many models - but, $? were yours. I recently got Costco H A and misplaced them twice.

My original Freedom CI processor was blue. I had a blue hearing aid to go with it. My hair was short then. My N6 processor is gray, but I still have a blue hearing aid. It's 15 years later. I now have long hair, not to cover my hearing devices but because I needed/wanted a change. The other day I met a man who was struggling with hearing loss. He was with his wife. We got talking about hearing loss, etc. His hearing aids were typically visible. I asked if he had considered a cochlear implant, and took off my processor to show him what it looked like. His wife's comment was "Oh that would never work for him because people would see it, they don't notice yours because of your long hair." It was all I could do to not walk into the next salon and ask for a haircut. We talked for a while because he was interested in my CI. She continued talk about the 'visibility' issue, as if hearing wasn't important.. It's really sad that this is a barrier to people seeking the help available.

julie04: You are so correct about the stigma with hearing aids! I have been wearing them for 8 years now as my hearing has deteriorated I do not mind having them show! It actually helps the people around us realize that we have an issue and they become mindful of it. If I needed to wear headphones to hear better I would be all for it. The most important thing is our relationships with family friends and neighbors and hearing what they have to say is very important! Several weeks ago I was at a conference in Chicago in a venue with 800 plus people and struggled somewhat in that environment. There were many people I could see had hearing aids and when I asked them if they could hear they shook their heads no! That is part of the problem....need to speak up and let them know! I’ll get off my soapbox now! God bless your day!

@julieo4
Hi,

Everything you said about the stigma of wearing hearing aids is so true and I also blame the manufacturers for the “invisibility “ aspect of marketing which only reinforces and perpetuates the stigma. They haven’t gotten the message yet to stop that type of advertising.

I think a lot of the stigma has to do with the fact that hearing loss is not understood by the majority of people and that hearing loss affects not just the person with the loss but also affects family and friends and employers. This is so unlike wearing glasses to correct vision which just affects the person wearing them. We are a youth oriented society and people who need to wear aids or implants may perceive themselves differently especially if they are being treated differently by family, friends and associates. Vanity comes into play which is a normal reaction. Age bias affects older people.

It’s up to us to educate people but not everyone is comfortable doing so or don’t know how to go about explaining to others.
Hopefully the younger generation who wear aids or implants (and there are more of them than ever) will help to erase the stigma in the years to come.

By the way, American Girl, the doll maker, has come out with a doll that was born with congenital hearing loss and wears a hearing aid. The problem I have with their advertising is that they are marketing her as the first doll with a disability. I’m familiar with these beautiful dolls because my granddaughter had them when she was younger.

Regards from FL Mary

Now that I am in FL - I will add to this same stream. I am VERY busy with educating this population about hearing loss. I thought I could retire and enjoy my life down here once I moved here 10 months ago but that was not the case. We live in one of the 11 Del Webb Elderly communities called Sun City Centers where you qualify to live if you are 55 and older. Almost everyone here has some degree of hearing loss and almost everyone denies it in one form or another. It is astounding.
We have a HLAA Chapter here and very few of the 44,000 people attend the meetings. Only those who are in trouble will come out of curiosity to find answers to their questions about their instruments and hearing loss. Questions about spouses not paying attention or helping with their hearing loss or even acknowledging the loss playing in the anguish that seems to permeate the couples and individuals around this non-incorporated township.
I am learning as I become involved and am a member of the Chamber of Commerce, the Ambassador program and work with the Mens Club, various other Clubs in SCC as well as the HOA where we live. I represent HLAA and constantly speak about it and hand out promo for the chapter and my business card. It is facinating that I don't need to say much anywhere and I received stories from everyone I meet.
I have begun to have speaking engagements now for groups wondering who we are and what they need to do to help them hear well. I have a PP and handouts for our Chapter. Dr Juliette Sterkens is here today to speak about hearing loss, hearing aids and Hearing Loops. We have only 15 loops in SCC but I have said we need more.
Our long term goal in SCC for construction since we are almost 50 years old is to build more building and because I have spoken up about being the most looped town in America, they have included looping in all of the new buildings for the future.
Speaking up - stepping up to the plate makes a difference. Listening and validating what they are saying also makes a difference. We also have a large population of Veterans. I will be addressing them as well after introducing them to the First Free Year with joining our HLAA organization. I will be speaking to them on the horizon.
Funding has been coming out of my own pocketbook but as the value has begun to be shown to the community - they are seeing the benefit and beginning to offer stipends and sponsorships to our Chapter that will help us in the long run. I have a group of people who have been helping me along the way as they also learn about what HLAA can do for them as well as for our community.
Its exciting and interesting to see what this community can do...but it will be a slow process. One step at a time. That's all for now.
BTW...the doll is a great start - we should encourage other manufacturers to offer all of the disabilities as well. ANYTHING is better than nothing.
Eloise in Sun City Center, FL

@nurseheadakes Eloise, what you are doing is awesome to bring education on hearing loss to so many in your community. I commend you. Re: veterans, don't forget to mention to them that there is a virtual Veteran Chapter that meets via Zoom and is overseen by Carla, the National HLAA Chapter Coordinator. I don't know how often they 'meet' but info might be on the HLAA website.

Mike, HLAA Chester County PA

@nurseheadakes
Hi,

Welcome to Florida. The area I live in seems to have a lot of the elderly and older population although I don’t live in a senior community. I know so many people my age who have hearing loss and no aids. Kudos to you for spreading the word. I do the same thing wherever I go. The people that pay more attention to me seem to be the younger generation because of their parents or grandparents and they are more interested in learning about hearing loss. “ I had no idea” is a common refrain. Talk to the older people, like me lol, and it falls on deaf ears.

FL Mary

Does your hearing aid have a volume control? Mine certainly does.. .. or a setting for when you are in a crowd... My Starkey Bluetooth Rechargeable HA with a remote microphone (from the Veterans Administration ...so I did not pay for them when they were issued.... I do not know the price)... But with the remote microphone setting I can give the mic to my partner and she can clip that on to her top and talk ... even if she is in another room... and I can hear her above the others... ..but yes in crowds I often take my HA out ... shut them off... and sit closer.. All beneficial ..

In response to the posts about the "stigma" of wearing aids: First, think back to what people had to wear during the 40s and 50s: my dad was profoundly deaf and wore a 1"x3"x4" aid in a harness in the center of his chest before the "radical" new aids in clunky eyeglass bows came into being. We learned to speak to his chest! Not only did he have a huge lump on his chest, but a very visible cord coming out of his collar up to the one ear that the aid worked with. Everyone in the room could hear the frequent feedback squeals, too! He had to be careful...couldn't wear the popular nylon dress shirts of the day as they rubbed against the aid enough to make it impossible for him to hear at all.

Also, I was terribly near-sighted all my life, almost legally blind, until I had cataract surgery. Being visually impaired to that extent is also very isolating and a problem, especially after Meniere's removed useful hearing from one side during my 40s. Near blindness is also a social problem as well as a problem seeing what's around you. Following cataract surgery, I initially had, believe it or not, 20/20 vision. It has deteriorated slightly, but I'm still legal to drive without glasses. Every morning, I wake up, look out my window and see leaves on trees and am soooo grateful! I still wear glasses all day, because the astigmatism resulting from severe near-sightedness (i.e., my eyeballs are misshapen because I didn't spend the additional $2,000 per eye to have that corrected) makes walking without glasses lead to having a full-blown Meniere's crisis, which, although it's a great way to lose weight, is not anything I want to experience again. And, of course, I also have presbyopia, because I'm older than dirt, so need glasses to read or do close work.

Due to having gone bilateral with Meniere's last May 24, I've found it virtually impossible recently to understand, even though I can hear sound with the aid in what used to be my hearing ear. Meniere's adds recruitment (sharp sounds actually are painful) and distortion (you can hear that someone's speaking, but it's just a rumble of noise without any discernible words), plus it fluctuates from hour to hour. Some days I can hear at least every other word spoken and piece together what I see and hear, but most of the time I cannot understand, even when attempting to "get" what the person right in front of me is saying. This makes is additionally difficult, as people can't understand why I heard them enough to get at least the main points yesterday but can't get a clue today. I've worn an aid in my "good" ear for a couple of years as age-related deafness made it increasingly difficult to hear, but now I've had lots of days where wearing it only increases the godawful bad noise...on top of different tinnitus in both ears.

I made an appt. with my gal at Costco, had to wait three weeks, but, WOW! Yesterday is the start of a new life for me! A quick test determined that I had lost, ahem, 20 decibels from a year ago. She gave me a temporary new, stronger mic in the new ear piece that still feels "too big" but does a better job of delivering sound. She has ordered a whole new earpiece and will call me as soon as it arrives--all at zero cost to me, even though it's MY problem, not the aid's problem. We talked about the possibility of a CI for my long-useless ear and how I would probably qualify for one now (failed to qualify six months ago by understanding 55% of simple sentences in a sound booth). On the hour-plus drive home, I was able to listen to a discussion program on the radio for the first time in months, plus, as I got closer to home and had to change stations, could actually hear and understand music for the first time in almost a year!!!! I hope that this will make it possible for me to actually hear during small group meetings as I'm active in three different organizations. EXCITING! I left with a provisional appt. for Sunday in case everything's too loud, but, several hours later, I'm one happy camper. The new earpiece may be too much for the rare good days, but I'll worry about that when when happens.