I've had 3 cancers: Thyroid cancer, Lung Cancer and Breast Cancer

Dear Merry,
Thanks so much for your helpful response. All three of the cancers are new since the end of June of this year. The first sign was blood in his urine, which was followed by the removal of his kidney; surgery for the pancreatic lesion will be in January. The kidney and the pancreatic cancers are not the same. The lung biopsy is now scheduled to verify the status of the lung nodules. Fortunately, his physicians collaborate and review his care as a team and I feel he is receiving excellent care.

It’s easy for me to be quiet and just listen, but sometimes he likes to be distracted by the conversation of others. Being a consummate talker is hard for me, I’m not a big talker. He says things like he feels like a bomb is inside of him. I tell him that it makes sense he’d feel that way, because I’m sure I’d feel the same. I don’t know what I would do in his shoes. He also said he’s tired of talking about cancer things, explaining test results especially. I tell him he can talk or not talk about whatever he wants, but that I’ll support him the best I can.

Your good words have really been a wonderful guide and support and I can’t thank you enough. Wishing you and your family a wonderful Holiday and a healthy New Year !

Monroe

@monroeed- Good morning Monroe. What a neat name! Is it a family name? I felt the same about my cancer that your boyfriend felt- I hated having to explain, over and over about my cancer. I had my son bring every one up to date with emails, explaining that emails were easier. Your boyfriend would really benefit from the support on Connect. The information that you can give him is one thing but for him to read comments with people who have the same cancers is another. You are saying exactly the correct things.
Your boyfriend has been hit with a sledge hammer of medical news. I agree with you that I don't know what I would do in his shoes, or anyone else's shoes with three cancers. It's like there's someone holding the hammer and constantly swing it at him. He also is in a waiting mode for more info about his lungs and removal of the lesion on his pancreas.
This is a link for my blog about my lung cancer journey. It might help him: https://my20yearscancer.com/
Take care and please keep us updated on his condition or bring him on board! Have you asked him to?
You are most kind!

Dear Merry,
Thanks for your kind response. I agree that it would be helpful to have my boyfriend sign up with connect. However, that being said, I think it may be premature for him to consider; hopefully it will be something for him to consider in the future. Currently, everything, down to the smallest minutia seems to overwhelm and irritate him; I proceed cautiously and take my cues from him. If he wants to talk I try to make sure my listening antenna are fully tuned in to validate his frustration and worries.
I’m at the hospital with him today while they do the lung biopsies. I am grateful for his team of medical providers, their rapid response and the generous support provided by yourself through Connect. I will keep you posted.

Monroe

I am praying for you and your boyfriend. Cancer can be scary. I pray that the biopsy is negative. I have had five cancer surgeries since 2012. I lost a lung but that does nor define me. Cancer is what I have, not who I am. You are doing a great job being supportive. Be sure you take care of yourself as well. You need to let off the emotions in a positive way. It can wear you down, so be sure to be kind to yourself. Have a healthy outlet to diffuse the emotional roller coaster that you are on.
You sound like a wonderful, caring person.
I try to not talk about my cancer unless someone asks me as I am more than cancer.
Keep him actively engaged in his friends, family, and activities that he enjoys.
My life is not diminished because I only have one lung. Life is a gift and something to be celebrated each day.
I will keep you both in my prayers. 💕

Hi @monroeed, I'm just catching up with this discussion and have a few more areas of Connect that you may also be interested in exploring and connecting.

1. The Caregiver group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/caregivers/
2. How can I be a supportive caregiver? HPV Squamous Cell Carcinoma https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/diagnosis-and-discussions/ In this older discussion @chapmanswife, like you, is supporting her partner. Fellow members gave her fabulous tips about caregiving, how she can be supportive, useful and also to feel less lost and scared.

Monroe, it's been a few days since you posted. Did you find out anything new from the lung biopsies? How are you both doing?

I understand your thought here. All I read tells me that when cancer appears in a different location in our body it is s metastasis
However my doctors say no. The 2 types of cancer and the Follicator lymphoma (in thyroid) is not related to anything except to the environmental exposures. So if anyone has an option I would live them to share.

@nobody- This is a very, very confusing topic. It's like who came first the chicken or the egg. There are very conflicting views, as you know, about this phenomena concerning multiple cancers at the same time. I have sent a question about this to one of my doctors and let's see what he has to say! I'm working on it!

Thanks for asking, no, nothing new except maybe a bit overwhelmed. He had surgery last week. They removed 1/2 the pancreas plus spleen and came home Saturday. He just wanted to rest but his mother died suddenly the next day which involved some minor travel. He’s now staying with family for the time being. My support is limited since I have to work full time; I do what I can. The pathology results from last week’s surgery will be reviewed on Thursday. He’s nervous about this meeting since his experience, to date, has been a series of bad news. He’s understandably irritable and depressed but intermittently lashes out at me. I’d be really interested in the medical perspective regarding multiple and almost simultaneous cancers. My understanding is that my partner’s kidney and pancreatic cancer were not the same cancer, whereas the lung biopsy results were the same (stage IV) type of cancer as the kidney cancer. Retreading this, it’s quite a discouraging conundrum of medical mountains.

Thanks everyone for your concern and support 🙏.
Monroe

I've also had multiple cancers, and not related to each other. Melanoma. Angiosarcoma, and a GIST. Also, and within a short time span, a large number of pre-cancer tumors which were surgically removed. That was a few years ago. Presently, I am having numerous skin cancers.
My doctors were not at all amazed or surprised, or even worried! But then, I had the bad luck of going to a very large teaching hospital where patient care was secondary and quite poor. Nevertheless, I managed to recover.
I do have a friend who is a cancer researcher in a cancer research facility; when I told him my history, he was sure it was no doubt a gene which gave me the pre-disposition for multiple cancers. He is interesting in testing, which is a lot more than my former doctors!

Did you have radiation treatment to your tonsils when you were a child? X-ray treatment can cause cancer, and all 3 can be in the X-ray field of a child.