1. < Depression & Anxiety

Stuck: Lost All Ambition

Posted by blue99 @blue99, Oct 30, 2019

I am in my 60's and I have had depression most of my life. However, I retired 2 years ago and it has not gone well. I have seen a couple different psychologist and I am taking anti-depressants. I do get better for awhile but it does not last. I have worked to make new contacts since retirement and I have stayed physically active but at the moment I have lost all ambition and it is hard work to do things I know I need to do to get better such as getting out of myself and doing something productive or fun. Please tell me what has worked for you.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Guener | @guener | Oct 31, 2019

I have gone through periods where I was very much to myself, physically and mentally, and at the time that's what I needed.

REPLY
georgette12 | @georgette12 | Oct 31, 2019

@gingerw I agree with your humble observation that not taking action is in itself an action. And it's just gotta be an okay place to put yourself for a while. I have been using a technique that's working for me. I make a conscious decision to not do/solve/"act" on anything when I've already done what I could in my situation. I continue doing my regular activities and put my mind in a WAIT mode. Kinda like sitting at a red light. If I wait patiently, the light will turn green, or I'm directed to turn in another direction cause the road is flooded...all kinds of things happen when you're waiting for the light to change .

REPLY
Ayesha, Alumni Mentor | @ayeshasharma | Nov 1, 2019

@guener constantly being around people can be what's unhealthy as well. At one point, I really depended on people and social activities to define myself and stay happy. I know many people who are still trapped in a cycle of needing validation from others to feel okay. I think it really depends on what *you* need, not what others think you need.

REPLY
Ayesha, Alumni Mentor | @ayeshasharma | Nov 1, 2019

@georgette that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes life has something unexpected in store, and only patience will allow that to reveal itself.

REPLY
1 reply
elwooodsdad | @elwooodsdad | Nov 1, 2019

Connect is therapy in its purest form. I am grateful.

REPLY
lioness | @lioness | Nov 1, 2019
In reply to @ayeshasharma "@georgette that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes life has something unexpected in store, and only..." + (show)
@ayeshasharma

@georgette that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes life has something unexpected in store, and only patience will allow that to reveal itself.

Jump to this post

@ayeshasharma I totally agree with you, you have to be happy yourself before you can make others happy . I can live alone and be happy or be social and be happy so I think its your perspective of life

REPLY
jc518938001 | @jc518938001 | Nov 1, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@blue99 Welcome to Mayo Connect. You will find we are a very diverse group of people!..." + (show)
@gingerw

@blue99 Welcome to Mayo Connect. You will find we are a very diverse group of people! However, we cannot diagnose medical issues, nor can we advise. We do offer support, and talk about our own experiences and what has worked, or not worked, for us.

Like you, I retired in my early 60's mostly due to medical issues. I had been working full time for over 45 years, and it was quite a shock to wake up that first workday and not head out to my job. I had placed a lot of my energy and my social contacts within that job! It took me about 4 months, as I transitioned to "retired", to get my house cleaned up and rearranged, deciding what project I wanted to do. I took stock of what my skillset is and found that I wanted to volunteer [where I could say "no" if I wanted!] and work part time. Yes, I sought out therapy to help me sort through things, and am glad I did. Like you, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression a couple of times.

Honesty is critical. Talk to your doctor, and see what their thoughts are re medication and/or therapy of some sort. Journal what you are feeling, just to get it out of your head if nothing else. Get a complete physical to rule out any organic causes of the way you feel. Reach out and think about things you would like to try or learn, or get involved again in things you used to do. Get outside for fresh air and exercise when you can [this is so healing!].

Please be gentle on yourself, and continue here. If you had a blank slate for a week, what would you do that would be exciting to look forward to?
Ginger

Jump to this post

The worst part of depression for me is the mood-thought congruency that occurs, or the placing of all the terrible physical responses/sensations associated with a depressive episode on every thought that goes through your mind. Thoughts, that under normal circumstances wouldn't have enough force to stir a small feather, become twisted, unbearably painful, paralyzing - dire.. Knowing this doesn't seem to help me very much. I hope our fate is more meaningful than that proposed by existentialist philosopher and Nobel Prize wining journalist and author Albert Camus. His form of existentialism whet like this: Whatever you are doing at any particular point in your life, if it keeps you from killing yourself, keep doing it! I'm just saying

REPLY
2 replies
stuckonu | @stuckonu | Nov 2, 2019
In reply to @jc518938001 "The worst part of depression for me is the mood-thought congruency that occurs, or the placing..." + (show)
@jc518938001

The worst part of depression for me is the mood-thought congruency that occurs, or the placing of all the terrible physical responses/sensations associated with a depressive episode on every thought that goes through your mind. Thoughts, that under normal circumstances wouldn't have enough force to stir a small feather, become twisted, unbearably painful, paralyzing - dire.. Knowing this doesn't seem to help me very much. I hope our fate is more meaningful than that proposed by existentialist philosopher and Nobel Prize wining journalist and author Albert Camus. His form of existentialism whet like this: Whatever you are doing at any particular point in your life, if it keeps you from killing yourself, keep doing it! I'm just saying

Jump to this post

How did Camus’s philosophy differ from Sartre’

REPLY
Sherman | @shermananski | Nov 2, 2019

I’m in a similar stuck mode, so I’m looking for answers, too. I know it’s the depression coupled with the Effexor ER. Not sure how much of which and why. Confusing. Frustrating. I really need to get off Effexor ER.

REPLY
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Nov 2, 2019
In reply to @jc518938001 "The worst part of depression for me is the mood-thought congruency that occurs, or the placing..." + (show)
@jc518938001

The worst part of depression for me is the mood-thought congruency that occurs, or the placing of all the terrible physical responses/sensations associated with a depressive episode on every thought that goes through your mind. Thoughts, that under normal circumstances wouldn't have enough force to stir a small feather, become twisted, unbearably painful, paralyzing - dire.. Knowing this doesn't seem to help me very much. I hope our fate is more meaningful than that proposed by existentialist philosopher and Nobel Prize wining journalist and author Albert Camus. His form of existentialism whet like this: Whatever you are doing at any particular point in your life, if it keeps you from killing yourself, keep doing it! I'm just saying

Jump to this post

@jc518938001 Welcome to Mayo Connect. We are glad you came to sit at our cyber table and share with us. We each have our own life's experiences to share and here it can be done without judgment, and offer support to others. It takes a lot of hard work to battle up from a depressive episode, and each rung on the ladder seems so tenuous. For me, I have to find a wrench to throw in the wheel to stop the cycle. That wrench can be in the form of medication, or therapy, exercise, creative endeavors, writing, you get my point. If you are comfortable sharing, tell us more about yourself, what types of depression have you experienced, and what resources have you tried to combat it? We're listening....
Ginger

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.