Stuck

Posted by blue99 @blue99, Wed, Oct 30 1:33pm

I am in my 60's and I have had depression most of my life. However, I retired 2 years ago and it has not gone well. I have seen a couple different psychologist and I am taking anti-depressants. I do get better for awhile but it does not last. I have worked to make new contacts since retirement and I have stayed physically active but at the moment I have lost all ambition and it is hard work to do things I know I need to do to get better such as getting out of myself and doing something productive or fun. Please tell me what has worked for you.

Liked by johnhans, sadee

Hi there. Your story is mine. I’m also having trouble pulling out of depression. I have a gallon ziplock bag full of bottles of meds I’ve tried without success. I hope you’re feeling better soon, it’s a tough battle and a lot of people don’t understand what we’re going through.

Liked by johnhans

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@blue99 and @kleelibby I have had the same problem as you two. I have finally found a doctor who has been able to help me. He stuck with me and saw that I got the right meds. Some people are immune to certain SSRI's due to a gene. Then there are people like me that do not digest the meds well. The older we get the more inefficient our digestive systems get. Thus older people may need a larger dosage. I take about 3 times the normal amount. If your doctors are not helping then find one who is willing to keep on trying until they find the answer. Keep us informed in your progress. We care for people here.

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@blue99 Welcome to Mayo Connect. You will find we are a very diverse group of people! However, we cannot diagnose medical issues, nor can we advise. We do offer support, and talk about our own experiences and what has worked, or not worked, for us.

Like you, I retired in my early 60's mostly due to medical issues. I had been working full time for over 45 years, and it was quite a shock to wake up that first workday and not head out to my job. I had placed a lot of my energy and my social contacts within that job! It took me about 4 months, as I transitioned to "retired", to get my house cleaned up and rearranged, deciding what project I wanted to do. I took stock of what my skillset is and found that I wanted to volunteer [where I could say "no" if I wanted!] and work part time. Yes, I sought out therapy to help me sort through things, and am glad I did. Like you, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression a couple of times.

Honesty is critical. Talk to your doctor, and see what their thoughts are re medication and/or therapy of some sort. Journal what you are feeling, just to get it out of your head if nothing else. Get a complete physical to rule out any organic causes of the way you feel. Reach out and think about things you would like to try or learn, or get involved again in things you used to do. Get outside for fresh air and exercise when you can [this is so healing!].

Please be gentle on yourself, and continue here. If you had a blank slate for a week, what would you do that would be exciting to look forward to?
Ginger

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@blue99 thank you for joining our circle of friends. I also identify with you and I agree with the comments on finding the right doctors to meet your unique needs. Blessings.

Liked by johnhans

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Just saw an episode of Bull on TV. He told a client dealing with medical and emotional issues the following. "Own your destiny. Don't let it own you."
I take that to mean, in my own life, take charge of my body mind spirit and life. Be my own activist. That helps me when I feel lost.

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@kleelibby

Hi there. Your story is mine. I’m also having trouble pulling out of depression. I have a gallon ziplock bag full of bottles of meds I’ve tried without success. I hope you’re feeling better soon, it’s a tough battle and a lot of people don’t understand what we’re going through.

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You are right but I need to remember it will get better.

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@georgette12

Just saw an episode of Bull on TV. He told a client dealing with medical and emotional issues the following. "Own your destiny. Don't let it own you."
I take that to mean, in my own life, take charge of my body mind spirit and life. Be my own activist. That helps me when I feel lost.

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I have friends and relatives who have depression and they will tell me they get mad when people tell them to take action because with their depression there is nothing they can do. I don't agree and that is why I try to get help and take action. Sometimes no matter what I do I don't feel better but I work as hard as I can, which is very hard when depressed, to get better.

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I think this discussion is interesting on several levels. As someone who has suffered these conditions for all my adult life..I'm 75…. I've had to look at the word "better" as in situations get better. For me, I use the word "change". I can definitely say conditions change but for me, I have a problem with thinking one thing is "better" than the other thing. That's just me though.

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I really like your choice of words. “Change” is so much more appropriate than “better”

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As for friends and relatives who tell a person to take action while suffering from the symptoms we're discussing, I've had to make tough choices in who to let into my life. I have layers of people. Some I trust with my deepest feelings. Others I trust only with superficial thoughts…and share minimal feelings. I work on being authentic. Unfortunately that limits who I let into my life. The hardest relationships are with others who judge what they do not know .

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It is an adjustment. Some of it can be assisted with anti depressants. The rest is changing your expectations, and not concerning yourself with the expectations of others. I am 72, and cannot remember a time that depression was not part of my life. I am on a medication protocol that works as well as can be expected. Regardless of what medications you are prescribed, life will not be rainbows and unicorns. I volunteer, mostly with church and social betterment causes. Giving of my time helps others, and takes my focus to them instead of me. Yes, some days it is hard. If you have a down day, have a down day because you know it isn’t permanent. If you don’t recover from the down days, then intercession is necessary. If you can have a pet, and don’t have a dog or cat…get one. Loving something that loves you back is great medicine. Enjoy the fact you are able to just be. Read, volunteer, pray, walk, or whatever you feel like, or not. It is your call for a change.

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@blue99

I have friends and relatives who have depression and they will tell me they get mad when people tell them to take action because with their depression there is nothing they can do. I don't agree and that is why I try to get help and take action. Sometimes no matter what I do I don't feel better but I work as hard as I can, which is very hard when depressed, to get better.

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@blue99 I have been diagnosed with clinical depression a couple of times, and know it is easy for me to slip into that mindset. In my humble thinking, not taking any action is also an action, if that makes sense to you. I applaud anyone who makes the effort to change their situation, no matter how small. It takes a lot of energy to get out of the quagmire, doesn't it? And a lot of imagination, and not just a little bit of bravery. I applaud all of us @georgette12 @kleelibby @johnhans and all those who are reading this thread, nodding their heads knowing we are all part of this group!
Ginger

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@elwooodsdad

It is an adjustment. Some of it can be assisted with anti depressants. The rest is changing your expectations, and not concerning yourself with the expectations of others. I am 72, and cannot remember a time that depression was not part of my life. I am on a medication protocol that works as well as can be expected. Regardless of what medications you are prescribed, life will not be rainbows and unicorns. I volunteer, mostly with church and social betterment causes. Giving of my time helps others, and takes my focus to them instead of me. Yes, some days it is hard. If you have a down day, have a down day because you know it isn’t permanent. If you don’t recover from the down days, then intercession is necessary. If you can have a pet, and don’t have a dog or cat…get one. Loving something that loves you back is great medicine. Enjoy the fact you are able to just be. Read, volunteer, pray, walk, or whatever you feel like, or not. It is your call for a change.

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I volunteered for a few years after I retired. I don’t do it anymore. I’d like to and I enjoyed it, but right now it seems such an effort. Isolating for a while now.

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To all those who are responding to this thread, I do not mean to give the impression that it is easy to get help. My thoughts are to give encouragement to those who have had depression all or most of their lives that medication can really help and that it is possible to feel happy. Yes I agree that getting the right meds does not give an always happy life. We do need to work on things that stress and depress as much as we are able. It is not a race to see how quickly we can recover, but a lifetime task of doing what we can do to help make our lives better. Therapy may be a part of that, but not all are able to afford one or have the means to get to one. This connect program can be a way of helping us to get better at what we can do to handle our stress and depression. We of course, always stress that getting medical help is a good idea.

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@kleelibby

I volunteered for a few years after I retired. I don’t do it anymore. I’d like to and I enjoyed it, but right now it seems such an effort. Isolating for a while now.

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@kleelibby It's okay to isolate and you recognize it. Being as aware of your situation as you are, you will know when the effort and your "want to" is in alignment to go out and do something that you enjoy doing. Please be gentle on yourself.
Ginger

Liked by johnhans, lioness

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