1. < Cancer

Life after a cancer diagnosis

Posted by azkidney57 @azkidney57, Sep 29, 2019

My nephrectomy was 4 months ago life is moving on. I have been feeling OK as of late. Physically I almost feel like “me” before the cancer. Emotionally I realize that things are now changed forever. In October ,which is here, I will meet my new oncologist. He will order “scans” and blood work so the cycle of surveillance begins for me. I was told that for the next 2 years I would have scans and blood work. Hopefully my cancer will not return but it just may. There is no way to tell how things will go. I was told that due to my tumor size I am at higher risk for recurrence. I will hope for the best. Many of you have already traveled the cancer trail some are just beginning the journey. Where ever you are with your cancer there is always hope. There may be pain and discomfort but we must fight to beat the beast that is cancer. I want to think of scans as “positive” in hopes of quelling my anxiety “scanxiety”. I have scan anxiety right now. A sense of dread intertwined with fear of the unknown. I don’t like the drive to the cancer center it tends to fill me with much stress. I don’t like checking in for appointments, the same questions asked, the same answers given. I am a cancer patient at a cancer center and that doesn’t sit well with me. I have an ID card with my name on it reminding me I am a member of a new club I never thought I would be be a part of! Faces are becoming familiar at the cancer center. At this point of my journey, I feel no comfort in the “new“familiar. It feels very foreign and not part of me. It’s been 4 months that is not very long since the cancer “ officially” invaded my life. Yet in many ways it feels like an eternity. So much has happened in those 4 months. I am grateful that my panic stage is over. I do feel less anxious in general. I am grateful for this site and for everyone who has given me insightful advise and direction. I find it most helpful! I feel supported which is very much appreciated. We all need to feel support! There are so many of us out there! There is strength in numbers!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Cancer Support Group.

Mentor
Merry, Volunteer Mentor | @merpreb | Oct 3, 2019
In reply to @puprluvr "Good for you Laurie. So happy to hear you have the live strong program to attend...." + (show)
@puprluvr

Good for you Laurie. So happy to hear you have the live strong program to attend. I hope the program becomes available all over our country. I love it and so good to be with other cancer survivors and seeing their determination to help themselves become stronger.

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@puprluvr- I did this program a long time ago. It was excellent. I'm glad that you are doing this!

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Mentor
Helen, Volunteer Mentor | @naturegirl5 | Oct 3, 2019

Cancer has certainly changed my outlook., my perceptions, and how I take care of myself. Yes, those daily worries of the past seem less important, and I remind myself to let go of those little things and focus on what is most important - my family and my relationships with my close friends. I got back to the gym last week and while I've had days where I did not feel very energetic, I worked out anyway. I've been going to a yoga class that is slow and includes opportunities to practice meditation and breathing. One of our cats is sitting next to my left hand as I type this and her purr is restful to me.

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azkidney57 | @azkidney57 | Oct 4, 2019
In reply to @IndianaScott "Hello @azkidney57 You are certainly correct that cancer certainly changes lives, outlooks on life, and how..." + (show)
@IndianaScott

Hello @azkidney57 You are certainly correct that cancer certainly changes lives, outlooks on life, and how you look at the calendar! My wife fought her war with a different cancer (brain) but I well recall how the calendar of our lives changed as we went appointment to appointment. First monthly, then every other, quarterly, and then thought we'd hit it big when the oncologist suggested every six months!

The fear and stress of testing and therapies can be overwhelming, too! My wife always had me sit at her feet during her MRIs and touch her. I can still hear all that thumping, whirring, etc. in my sleep!

I wish you nothing but the best going forward.

Strength, courage, and peace!

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Thank you Scott! Thank you for sharing. It gives me courage when I hear how others deal with cancer. Being a care giver takes courage!

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Mentor
Scott, Volunteer Mentor | @IndianaScott | Oct 4, 2019

I was out walking the pup today and came around the corner to this. Wanted to share a bit of color and beauty here today.
Cheers to all!
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4 replies
puprluvr | @puprluvr | Oct 4, 2019
In reply to @IndianaScott "I was out walking the pup today and came around the corner to this. Wanted to..." + (show)
@IndianaScott

I was out walking the pup today and came around the corner to this. Wanted to share a bit of color and beauty here today.
Cheers to all!

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Beautiful-thx for posting.

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azkidney57 | @azkidney57 | Oct 4, 2019
In reply to @IndianaScott "I was out walking the pup today and came around the corner to this. Wanted to..." + (show)
@IndianaScott

I was out walking the pup today and came around the corner to this. Wanted to share a bit of color and beauty here today.
Cheers to all!

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Lovely pic! Thanks Scott!

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Mentor
Merry, Volunteer Mentor | @merpreb | Oct 5, 2019

@azkidney57; @trishanna; @IndianaScott; @puprluvr; @becsbuddy;@hopeful33250; @naturegirl5
I have been thinking more and more about this topic as I live this everyday. The 3rd of this month was my 22 anniversary with lung cancer.(1997). At that time there was no connect. There was a local cancer support group and the American Cancer Society. But no one explained what it meant, this life after cancer, or how to try and figure it out. We were not nearly as astute as to how to talk about cancer, it's feelings or how to support each other. As you said, @azkidney57, "I am grateful that my panic stage is over." I was happy for it because it was also numbing, becoming a protective shield.
Life after cancer can see many, many changes. Some of the changes just take place gradually, physical adjustments to our new limitations. After all these years, and they have been wonderful and very, very difficult I have finally just decided that simple plans are the best. I limit my appointments and spend almost all of my time with my husband and family. I have fought PTSD for 12 years and bronchitis and pneumonia and being hospitalized, an early MIA and a stent. Then another stent to correct a mistake made by the surgeon in one of my arteries during my last lobectomy. But we all have these types of things- so life after cancer to me are decisions about what I want to do everyday and this is how I move forward, one step at a time, one appointment at a time. It really can't get an easier than that. Except for my cancer I really do not have an other life altering decisions that I allow to complicate my life. Do you think that simplifying is the best, until we can handle more complex activities, if at all?

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5 replies
Mentor
Helen, Volunteer Mentor | @naturegirl5 | Oct 5, 2019
In reply to @merpreb "@azkidney57; @trishanna; @IndianaScott; @puprluvr; @becsbuddy;@hopeful33250; @naturegirl5 I have been thinking more and more about this topic..." + (show)
@merpreb

@azkidney57; @trishanna; @IndianaScott; @puprluvr; @becsbuddy;@hopeful33250; @naturegirl5
I have been thinking more and more about this topic as I live this everyday. The 3rd of this month was my 22 anniversary with lung cancer.(1997). At that time there was no connect. There was a local cancer support group and the American Cancer Society. But no one explained what it meant, this life after cancer, or how to try and figure it out. We were not nearly as astute as to how to talk about cancer, it's feelings or how to support each other. As you said, @azkidney57, "I am grateful that my panic stage is over." I was happy for it because it was also numbing, becoming a protective shield.
Life after cancer can see many, many changes. Some of the changes just take place gradually, physical adjustments to our new limitations. After all these years, and they have been wonderful and very, very difficult I have finally just decided that simple plans are the best. I limit my appointments and spend almost all of my time with my husband and family. I have fought PTSD for 12 years and bronchitis and pneumonia and being hospitalized, an early MIA and a stent. Then another stent to correct a mistake made by the surgeon in one of my arteries during my last lobectomy. But we all have these types of things- so life after cancer to me are decisions about what I want to do everyday and this is how I move forward, one step at a time, one appointment at a time. It really can't get an easier than that. Except for my cancer I really do not have an other life altering decisions that I allow to complicate my life. Do you think that simplifying is the best, until we can handle more complex activities, if at all?

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@merpreb
Thank you, Merry, for reminding us what life was like without the internet. Sometimes I want to return those "good 'ol days", thinking life was simpler, less instant, and far less hectic. However, as you wrote, 22 years ago, this wonderful Mayo Connect site did not exist. I've overheard my partner telling others how I've found such lovely support here on Mayo Connect. This has become my "home group".

I'm just 11 weeks out from my diagnosis and 9 weeks out from a radical hysterectomy for endometrial cancer. Now that my energy is returning, I've squished too many activities in to too little time. I need to remind myself each morning that my partner, my family, (this includes our animals) and my close friendships are most important. Thank you for the reminder to limit appointments, slow down, and not overly complicate my life. Yes, I think that living each day, one at a time, and simplifying our lives is key. We can say "no" to what we can control.

Thank you for your inspiring post.

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azkidney57 | @azkidney57 | Oct 5, 2019
In reply to @merpreb "@azkidney57; @trishanna; @IndianaScott; @puprluvr; @becsbuddy;@hopeful33250; @naturegirl5 I have been thinking more and more about this topic..." + (show)
@merpreb

@azkidney57; @trishanna; @IndianaScott; @puprluvr; @becsbuddy;@hopeful33250; @naturegirl5
I have been thinking more and more about this topic as I live this everyday. The 3rd of this month was my 22 anniversary with lung cancer.(1997). At that time there was no connect. There was a local cancer support group and the American Cancer Society. But no one explained what it meant, this life after cancer, or how to try and figure it out. We were not nearly as astute as to how to talk about cancer, it's feelings or how to support each other. As you said, @azkidney57, "I am grateful that my panic stage is over." I was happy for it because it was also numbing, becoming a protective shield.
Life after cancer can see many, many changes. Some of the changes just take place gradually, physical adjustments to our new limitations. After all these years, and they have been wonderful and very, very difficult I have finally just decided that simple plans are the best. I limit my appointments and spend almost all of my time with my husband and family. I have fought PTSD for 12 years and bronchitis and pneumonia and being hospitalized, an early MIA and a stent. Then another stent to correct a mistake made by the surgeon in one of my arteries during my last lobectomy. But we all have these types of things- so life after cancer to me are decisions about what I want to do everyday and this is how I move forward, one step at a time, one appointment at a time. It really can't get an easier than that. Except for my cancer I really do not have an other life altering decisions that I allow to complicate my life. Do you think that simplifying is the best, until we can handle more complex activities, if at all?

Jump to this post

I think people, us , who are challenged by a cancer, develop a tolerance to adversity. At first there is the panic that shields and is a defense mechanism. You work through the panic then your life, your new life, begins. That is how I see it. The person I once was has changed. Priorities shift or change altogether. I am getting to know the “new” me. This is the “journey”. I met a man and he asked me out for coffee and my response was:”I will ask her(me) if she wants to go”. I am that disconnected from the new “me” right now. I see this as dealing with the adversity, the challenge, the cancer. I am a work in progress. I am in protective mode. Whether this is wrong or right who knows. I just know that for me right now I need to get to know the changed “me”. I take things in steps. I live one day at a time. I am most annoyed right now with the frivolous and most touched by the simple things. The sun coming up each day is beautiful and calming. I listen to birds and that is wonderful. My dog is a great comfort. He seems to know when I need him more. A hug from a friend feeds my soul! A smile from a stranger acknowledges me and I like that. I read posts on this site and it is nourishing. It satisfies my need for affirmation. I feel validated. Happy anniversary to you! You are still here and that is a very good thing. You are a survivor! Thank you so very much for sharing.

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1 reply
Mentor
Scott, Volunteer Mentor | @IndianaScott | Oct 5, 2019
In reply to @merpreb "@azkidney57; @trishanna; @IndianaScott; @puprluvr; @becsbuddy;@hopeful33250; @naturegirl5 I have been thinking more and more about this topic..." + (show)
@merpreb

@azkidney57; @trishanna; @IndianaScott; @puprluvr; @becsbuddy;@hopeful33250; @naturegirl5
I have been thinking more and more about this topic as I live this everyday. The 3rd of this month was my 22 anniversary with lung cancer.(1997). At that time there was no connect. There was a local cancer support group and the American Cancer Society. But no one explained what it meant, this life after cancer, or how to try and figure it out. We were not nearly as astute as to how to talk about cancer, it's feelings or how to support each other. As you said, @azkidney57, "I am grateful that my panic stage is over." I was happy for it because it was also numbing, becoming a protective shield.
Life after cancer can see many, many changes. Some of the changes just take place gradually, physical adjustments to our new limitations. After all these years, and they have been wonderful and very, very difficult I have finally just decided that simple plans are the best. I limit my appointments and spend almost all of my time with my husband and family. I have fought PTSD for 12 years and bronchitis and pneumonia and being hospitalized, an early MIA and a stent. Then another stent to correct a mistake made by the surgeon in one of my arteries during my last lobectomy. But we all have these types of things- so life after cancer to me are decisions about what I want to do everyday and this is how I move forward, one step at a time, one appointment at a time. It really can't get an easier than that. Except for my cancer I really do not have an other life altering decisions that I allow to complicate my life. Do you think that simplifying is the best, until we can handle more complex activities, if at all?

Jump to this post

Hi @merpreb I find this an interesting discussion.

All I can add, from the perspective of my wife's war is this -- celebrate and relish in whatever it is you are able to do.

Easier said than done, I know! Often it is easier to mourn what it is we've lost than relish what we have left. Personally I've found this true after my stroke -- many times I catch myself complaining about what I can't see and forget to laud what I still can.

I know by necessity my wife and I were forced to greatly simplify our lives due to her cancer. Much because of her physical and mental limitations, some by my lack of ability to manage all the demands of caregiving with other things I'd have been doing at the time, and some by the financial burdens. The journey is daunting, but by keeping it simple, became a tad less so for us.

Strength, courage, and peace.

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