1. < Depression & Anxiety

Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues

Posted by mandrake70 @mandrake70, Aug 30, 2019

Hi everyone,
I've had depression for the past 30 years or so and was on some heavy medications, tried ECT, etc. Nothing worked. I ended up trying the Ketamine Infusions and they worked for getting rid of my depression. I'm still dealing with anxiety and some really bad memory issues. I can't remember a lot of things that happened in the past and I am having trouble with remembering new things. Sometimes I am OK with making new memories, other times I can't recall a damn thing. My doctor is telling me that it's the anxiety and the insomnia that is causing the problem with my memory. Before the Ketamine treatments, it was depression and anxiety that were causing my memory problems.
I'm scared that it's the medication I was on for so long or the ECTs I underwent at the suggestions of my old doctor. She had me over medicated so I wonder if that could be some of the problems too. I have this fear that it is early onset dementia.
I'm also dealing with being separated from my wife and daughter right now. My wife pretty much gave up on me due to the depression and asked me to move out two months ago. Now that it is gone, she is angry about my memory issues and wants me to come up with a plan to fix everything that has gone wrong in our marriage. I tried sitting down with her last night with a pen and paper so I could get a list of things she felt needed to be fixed and she wouldn't go over it again with me. I am pretty sure we are done at this point which is adding a lot of stress to my life. She has some issues too but doesn't believe she does so they have gone untreated. Her issues have caused a huge rift in the family over the years and made my depression worse. I have always been a fixer so I keep trying to fix the marriage. I think at this point, it might be better if I stop trying.
My daughter asked me to take her to a therapist last night because of what she is going through right now and how she is feeling. I will be calling her doctor and getting that set up today. Something else for me to worry about right now and I am really scared for her.

Thanks for 'listening.'

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mandrake70 | @mandrake70 | Sep 24, 2019

Hi @gingerw, @contentandwell, @jimhd,
This weekend was a little rough. The doctor prescribed Ambien to help me sleep and it basically made me sick and didn't help with the sleep. I just talked with his office this morning and he is trying another sleep med so we will see how that goes. Also, it was my anniversary on Monday. When I saw my wife the only thing she did was ask me about the laptop she wanted to buy. With everything that has happened, I just didn't feel like mentioning it to her. Maybe I should have but I am really tired especially after what she did last week. The depression and anxiety seem to be OK now, mainly just the insomnia and my wife. We are still scheduled for the counselor on Thursday unless she cancels.
My youngest daughter is doing OK. She has her therapy session on Thursday night. She is dealing with a lot of physical pain right now due to soccer injuries. She was doing better with physical therapy but re-injured things yesterday. Her foot started hurting recently and she doesn't want to go to the doctor. I understand her reluctance to see her pediatrician and need to get her switched over to an adult doctor. That still might not help since I think the reason is she doesn't want to miss a game. May have to drag her there.

REPLY
3 replies
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Sep 24, 2019
In reply to @mandrake70 "Hi @gingerw, @contentandwell, @jimhd, This weekend was a little rough. The doctor prescribed Ambien to help..." + (show)
@mandrake70

Hi @gingerw, @contentandwell, @jimhd,
This weekend was a little rough. The doctor prescribed Ambien to help me sleep and it basically made me sick and didn't help with the sleep. I just talked with his office this morning and he is trying another sleep med so we will see how that goes. Also, it was my anniversary on Monday. When I saw my wife the only thing she did was ask me about the laptop she wanted to buy. With everything that has happened, I just didn't feel like mentioning it to her. Maybe I should have but I am really tired especially after what she did last week. The depression and anxiety seem to be OK now, mainly just the insomnia and my wife. We are still scheduled for the counselor on Thursday unless she cancels.
My youngest daughter is doing OK. She has her therapy session on Thursday night. She is dealing with a lot of physical pain right now due to soccer injuries. She was doing better with physical therapy but re-injured things yesterday. Her foot started hurting recently and she doesn't want to go to the doctor. I understand her reluctance to see her pediatrician and need to get her switched over to an adult doctor. That still might not help since I think the reason is she doesn't want to miss a game. May have to drag her there.

Jump to this post

@mandrake70 Even if your wife decides to cancel her appearance at the counselor, go yourself. It may prove beneficial for you. Sleep can be so elusive, even with medications, can't it? I hope you can find the right combination of methods, soon! Your daughter's physical pain does need addressing, just like you are doing for her emotional pain. You'll make the correct decision.
Ginger

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njp1013 | @njp1013 | Sep 24, 2019

stay strong @mandrake70, focus on what is good especially your daughter, you will get thru this.

REPLY
njp1013 | @njp1013 | Sep 24, 2019
In reply to @mandrake70 "Hi @gingerw, @contentandwell, @jimhd, This weekend was a little rough. The doctor prescribed Ambien to help..." + (show)
@mandrake70

Hi @gingerw, @contentandwell, @jimhd,
This weekend was a little rough. The doctor prescribed Ambien to help me sleep and it basically made me sick and didn't help with the sleep. I just talked with his office this morning and he is trying another sleep med so we will see how that goes. Also, it was my anniversary on Monday. When I saw my wife the only thing she did was ask me about the laptop she wanted to buy. With everything that has happened, I just didn't feel like mentioning it to her. Maybe I should have but I am really tired especially after what she did last week. The depression and anxiety seem to be OK now, mainly just the insomnia and my wife. We are still scheduled for the counselor on Thursday unless she cancels.
My youngest daughter is doing OK. She has her therapy session on Thursday night. She is dealing with a lot of physical pain right now due to soccer injuries. She was doing better with physical therapy but re-injured things yesterday. Her foot started hurting recently and she doesn't want to go to the doctor. I understand her reluctance to see her pediatrician and need to get her switched over to an adult doctor. That still might not help since I think the reason is she doesn't want to miss a game. May have to drag her there.

Jump to this post

@mandrake70 is your issue falling asleep, or staying asleep? (or both)

REPLY
mandrake70 | @mandrake70 | Sep 24, 2019

@njp1013 Staying asleep. I wake up between midnight and four each morning then can't get back to sleep. Last night was actually my best night in several days and I woke up around 4:30.

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3 replies
mandrake70 | @mandrake70 | Sep 24, 2019

@gingerw Thanks, I will go to the counselor in any case. I sent a text to my wife about our daughter but haven't heard back yet.

REPLY
njp1013 | @njp1013 | Sep 24, 2019
In reply to @mandrake70 "@njp1013 Staying asleep. I wake up between midnight and four each morning then can't get back..." + (show)
@mandrake70

@njp1013 Staying asleep. I wake up between midnight and four each morning then can't get back to sleep. Last night was actually my best night in several days and I woke up around 4:30.

Jump to this post

ah, got it. unfortunately i am right there with ya. how do you feel when you wake up early?

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mandrake70 | @mandrake70 | Sep 24, 2019

@njp1013 Sometimes tired still but unable to get back to sleep or just able to doze a bit. Other times wide awake. Previously I had a lot of anxiety when I woke up early and my mind just wouldn't shut off. That hasn't happened for a week or so now. I end up just reading when I wake up if it is around 4:00 on a weekday. If earlier, I try to get back to sleep. Weekends I try to sleep later but end up just reading most often.

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njp1013 | @njp1013 | Sep 24, 2019

well i am happy for you that you are able to use the time for reading and your anxiety levels are lower when you wake up...that is very good

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