Caregiving: I’m frustrated and exhausted.

You have a right to vent. Holding it in is not healthy. You are right, no wants to hear it. Today was a bad day, I text my cousin I guess needed to talk because I wanted to end this. My husband gets me going, sarcasm I wanted to scream and I did. His response, "something is wrong with you!" I felt, how to get away help me. I thought of "that" so I needed to calm down or what ever. Never responded. People don't want to hear it. Children, not all but run away. I learned my lesson. I go to no one! Hope your feeling a little better or better than a little.

Thank You so much. You make me smile, that is a positive for my Negatives.

i dont mind ever being here for you to listen and be a shoulder to cry on of if you just need to vent and u can even use rough language... Dr wayne Dyer says " always choose life" try to rise above any bad comments your husband makes some men just dont know how to deal with situations like yours so just rise above it dont let it bring you down. message me and let it out !!! you have a lot of support here

Bravo for your honesty and bravo for the love you are giving. Now---take a deep breath and say to yourself: " Job well done!"

I care, and I know the others who read your message care. That’s the amazing thing about this group. You are not alone, and you are understood and loved by people you don’t know.

@kimspr3 Kim, start writing down your thoughts, on a computer if you have one, or by hand. Or speak and record your thoughts. I know from experience that saying what you are feeling out loud, let's another part of your brain listen. I like to longhand write, and later will look at how I wrote, not just what. Pretty enlightening, let me tell you! Some people just cannot get a clue how to treat a loved one in chronic pain. Perhaps have a friend explain it to him, instead of you. We care here.
Ginger

I cry.
I sob.
I breathe.
I collect.
I decide to focus on one thing I can do for him, and some one thing for myself. It’s sometimes (but not always) the same thing.

kimspr3, you might try getting a small shower chair and a handheld shower head. That worked for my husband when he was unable to stand anymore.

@kimspr3 I really like @rmftucker ‘s suggestions about the shower chair and hand held shower. I would also add having hand rails installed and a non-slip mat inside and outside the shower. The Council or Agency on Aging should have helpful suggestions. Before I came home from rehab, an occupational therapist therapist inspected my house for safety. My husband pulled up small rugs, put in motion detector lights, and fixed the bathroom like above. And my neighbor came and installed small ramps at doors since I was using a walker (rollator)! Is there an Agency on Aging in your area? Or someone who could help you brainstorm? Will you let us know? We care about you and your safety.

@colleenyoung @kimspr3 Hi Kim, Colleen, this is Rhoda @rckj. Kim, how can I be helpful? Happy to and I get the gist of the thread about caretaking? I have been ill over 10 years with Addison’s Disease (adrenal failure).
I have other illnesses that are either caused by the original disease or are just there. Life is tough but there are also wonderful things. Just as I was getting sick I met and then married a wonderful man. He is protective of me and worries, although he doesn’t always say so. I worry about what all this does to him, having watched so many times where I am critically ill. I wrote a thread about taking care of him and doing things that I could do to create joyful times for us. The idea was suggested by another member, @rosemarya . I think the thread is on the post intensive care site around April of this year. I often apologize as if it was somehow the illness or my need for help was my fault. Logically I know that’s not true but logic only goes so far. I’m working on it but it is hard. I think right now I may be only marginally helpful as I’m coming in to this in the middle of the thread. How can I help? Best wishes, Rhoda. @rckj

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