Importance of focusing on Positive with Depression & Anxiety.

We are mistake makers. Why is it so difficult to forgive ourselves?

@helenfrances I like that, "We are mistake makers." Something to remember.

@helenfrances- Good morning- What an excellent question. For me I think that self forgiveness was a foreign thought. What did it mean? No one back in my 20's and 30's (I'm 73) ever mentioned what it meant and how to go about doing this. We ruminate instead, hitting ourselves over the head time and time again and not getting anywhere. When we make mistakes because they were made outside of our own values, at least for me, tend to be the worst. I never thought to look at why I did what I did-I just did a mental flagellation on myself. And boy have a done a great job on this!
I think that we as humans tend to hang on the the past because even if it's a rotten past it's what we are use to, we are comfortable with so we don't leave it behind, it's too threatening. We don't want to go back a relive things because it hurts too damn much. SO by punishing ourselves we avoid acceptance.
I found this quote and it sums it up for me. "It means that you accept the behavior, you accept what has happened, and you are willing to move past it and move on with your life without ruminating over past events that cannot be changed." By Kendra Cherry

What do you think?

@merpreb , this hits the nail on the head for me. I am just beginning to walk away from the self-punishment that I inflicted upon myself for a long time toward acceptance of what has happened in the past, what I accept responsibility for, knowing that what is done is done. It's true for me, too, that what I had become accustomed to by living events over and by berating myself over those things was just what I knew was my world that I was bound to suffer in forever. It *is* awful, but I don't have to continue in those ways or with that type of thinking today, this moment.

@guener- It hits the nail on the head for me too! I don't think that we are alone either. Does this hit home for anyone else?

@gingerw Good morning. I am partial to green tea and jasmine, no sweetener, please. I am trying to get back in the saddle again. A little at a time.

@parus Your spot at the table is here. You might get jostled a bit as people quietly fight to get to sit next to you, though! I'll give you a gentle hug and sit back just to enjoy you being here. Take your time, as you are comfortable. Green tea coming right up....
Ginger

@merpreb I think it hits home for me, too. I have worked hard on changing how my world works, and my part in it. It was always more comfortable to stay in familiar roles, where it was warm and dark, and stifling, than look out to fresher air, light, and clarity. Once I saw fit to step out, there was no turning back. And those around me who didn't want to move past the old behaviors, had to be left behind. Recently, a couple of those people [siblings] are trying to reestablish using the old patterns, but I won't let them in.
Ginger

@guener and @merpreb
You are both showing such great self-understanding. That is the only way to find peace.

@gingerw- Good for you. When my twin sister was alive she was poison to everyone, but mostly to herself. I actually barred her from visiting me in the hospital when I had my first cancer. She knew everything medical. I couldn't have that around me.
I'm learning to let go of my past because I'm not sure how long this cancer will take to get the better of me or something else will so I have to move with time, and that is always forward.