Increased depression after the death of my father

@aliali- Right now you are in deep mourning and should have whatever kind of day pleases you. If you are aching to get some exercise but feel drained and I I suspect you do, take a little walk outside. I'm not sure what you are referring to when you ignoring recent events.
One of the first books written about loss was written by a woman named Elizabeth Kubla Ross. Her book has been thought of as the bible, if you will. She discusses in details the 7 stages of loss. I have learned that these are true but they don't always come in a certain order. https://smile.amazon.com/s?k=elizabeth+kubler+ross+death+the+final+stage+of+growth&crid=1SOV6T82N0RYS&sprefix=kubler+ross+stages+of+death%2Caps%2C202&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_27
Have you checked out Connect's loss group? I'm not sure if I sent it to you
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/?utm_campaign=search

@aliali- I just sent you a book title. I know that you are confused now because of the shock. That will calm down as you accept this emotionally, May I ask if you have had the funeral as yet?
There is no one way to grieve or act or feel. Did you get my post about the book?

@merpreb Yes I know that book and it is right on but @aliali when I lost my husband working got me through it plus one thing we talked about was remodeling the basement just cleaning and painting so I threw myself into this Don't worry so much about how you should act grief is something you go threw if you can look at those sites merprep gave you

I mean by ignoring the recent events hmm avoid thinking in the matter of my father’s death. As a depressed, not thinking in some negative ideas has given me infinite energy and self esteem! I will go thru the book immediately!

During the funeral, I had unreasonable ideas. Sometimes I doubt the death of my father; sometimes I accept that and feel overwhelmed! I got your post about the book !

@aliali- I get this. It's not uncommon to think and cry about a number of things after someone close dies. I don't know if you can call your thinking unreasonable. Your thoughts will go through so many different things. And there is no rhyme or reason for it. They just happen-They are free-floating. I use to see my dad all over the place after he passed away. Strange that I never did that after my mom passed away. I don't know if you can really force yourself away from negative thoughts. I had many after my mom died and it has taken my a long time to go through that.
Just know that what ever you feel or think is ok. All things like this are allowed and many have thought and felt that way before you and will after you. Do you think that instead of worrying about all of this you just let your mind run free and see where it takes you?

@aliali No doubt you are seeing there are so many things to do, and perhaps it is overwhelming. Learning to adjust your life now without your father can seem impossible some days, doesn't it? Please don't think it all has to be done at once! As others have said, it is a process. Perhaps pick one or two things you have done most days, that are a habit, and make sure you do that. Having something in your day that is "normal" will help you, I bet.
Ginger

I can see what you mean. I feel the death of my father is a little bearable to me during the last two days!

@aliali Do you think it might help to write your feelings down? It might help you process them. You could write as if you were writing to your father to tell him how you feel and that you are thinking about him. I've also lost my dad, and I knew it was coming. I had interviewed my parents on video a few years prior about family history, and I sat down and created a documentary about my dad's life and added in pictures of him growing up, and his photos from family vacations. I recorded myself introducing the segments, and through all of it, I read the beautiful handwritten letters my dad had written to my mom before they were married when he was aboard ship in the Naval Reserve and was able to use some of his photos from those military trips. I discovered the letters and old photos as I was looking for photos with my mom. That was a very healing project for me, and I could share a lot of wonderful things about my dad's life that the relatives didn't know. This project became the main part of his memorial service, and I felt a lot closer to him doing this. Everyone grieves differently, and you will need to follow your heart for what is best for you.

Writing helped me a lot psychologically. I will be doing so today. Why am I looking for help? Actually, I doubt that my techniques will work with my current situation! I mean, hmm after I heard that my dad has passed away, I felt a feeling that I have never felt during my entire life, both before and after being depressed! Before I was told about the mortality, I was almost confident that nothing could hurt me, make me weak or make me cry! But now I know that this situation is very special; I feel that I am looking for help of other types or techniques that I do not know yet; these techniques are, as I feel, stronger than what I learned before.