1. < Just Want to Talk

Sadness over diagnosis

Posted by catmom777 @catmom777, Mar 30, 2019

I feel so sad about being diagnosed with afib. I also have some breathing issues (which might be causing my afib) and think I might have chronic bronchitis. I was also diagnosed with osteoporosis. None of these are a death sentence per se, but after a lifetime of being extremely healthy, I feel defeated. I did not see any of this coming except the breathing issues as I've had repeated bouts of bronchitis since I was a child. I'm having trouble coping. I first thought I might not live much longer (didn't know anything about afib) and started going through my stuff so my family wouldn't have to deal with a lot of junk if I died, then got a handle on that when I learned that afib sufferers can live a long time, but I still feel devastated.
Is anyone else out there dealing with this?

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lioness | @lioness | Mar 31, 2019
In reply to @klaubi "Does anyone have any ideas on what low impact exercises I can do while my ribs..." + (show)
@klaubi

Does anyone have any ideas on what low impact exercises I can do while my ribs are healing. I heard swimming is not good but I don't know. Thx?

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@klaubi Just lower body exercises

REPLY
catmom777 | @catmom777 | Mar 31, 2019
In reply to @karen00 "@catmom777. Hi cat mom, I desperately wanted to talk to you! I am in the same..." + (show)
@karen00

@catmom777. Hi cat mom, I desperately wanted to talk to you! I am in the same situation! I am 61, unmarried, no children. I just found out I have afib, had severe cellulitis and lymphedema in my rt leg, and had to go on oxygen. I spent a month in a rehab hospital, just getting out a week ago. I take Xarelto, I had a pulmonary embolism. I worry constantly about what will happen to me if something happens to my only sibling, a brother. I will have nowhere to go-will I have to go into a nursing home? We live together and I know I should live elsewhere but I can’t. I can’t abide living alone. He treats me like i am inferior and is constantly angry with me-constantly. Yet he buys me stuff and if I ask him to do something, he will-begrudgingly. He’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Anyway, I saw me in your writing. I have no friends here-I just moved here. So no one came to see me while I was in the hospital-except Rick who works 15 minutes away and only came once a week. I wish I could exercise outside, but there is a ramp to the parking lot and I don’t feel safe on it alone; therefore, I can’t drive myself anywhere. So what’s left is YouTube exercises. I can do those-until my oxygen goes down. I’ve concluded that the best thing to do is stop worrying about the future. My PCP gets mad at me for seeing a pain specialist and taking opioids. She looks me in the face and says “I hate opioids”. She hates that I get anti anxiety medicine from my psychiatrist. But these meds help me cope and stop focusing on my pain and anxiety! So cat mom, I didn’t mean to write so much about myself! It just felt good to have someone who probably understood me. Please let me hear from you.....ironic but I am a dog mom!.......Karen

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Yes, we are in the same boat. I live alone, but that's not too good either with the health issues I have. I agree with Karen. If you can find a way to get to a senior center I think it would give you a lot of the support you need. Here we have a shuttle run by the bus company which picks people up and takes them to places like the senior center. I believe our senior center also has a small gym. I know they have some exercise classes because I've seen them advertised in a circular. It really sounds like you need to get out. It will be hard with the oxygen, but maybe try it just once if you can and see if it's doable.
Life is hard for both of us, but I've seen people get through worse. I have a friend back in the town I used to live in who has bad gout, has to use a walker, is always broke because her social security isn't enough, and she has a son with schizophrenia. She is a lovely person. Somehow though she makes it to church every Sunday.
Call your local Aging Commission. They can put you in touch with all kinds of services. It's a federally funded agency that as far as I know is in every state. Even the small town where my mother lives has a senior help agency and there are only 7,000 people in that town. She takes a shuttle to and from her doctor and dentist appointments and they can even take her to the store.
I hope you can find a way to make your life a little better.

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catmom777 | @catmom777 | Mar 31, 2019
In reply to @grandmar "@catmom777 Blaming yourself for your problems is counter-productive. How ever and why you have the issues..." + (show)
@grandmar

@catmom777
Blaming yourself for your problems is counter-productive.
How ever and why you have the issues you do is in the past.
It is time to look forward to the future!
It is what it is and the best thing to do is to try to live each day to its fullest.
Funny, I guess I need to take my own advice, too! lol

Be Happy!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

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Thanks Ronnie.

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1 reply
grandmaR | @grandmar | Mar 31, 2019
In reply to @catmom777 "Thanks Ronnie." + (show)
@catmom777

Thanks Ronnie.

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@catmom777
You are welcome!
Ronnie

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grandmaR | @grandmar | Mar 31, 2019
In reply to @lioness "@grandma Ah thanks Ronnie your post are great with good advice but I watch the amt..." + (show)
@lioness

@grandma Ah thanks Ronnie your post are great with good advice but I watch the amt and only have Irish or Challenge butter

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@lioness
You are welcome!
Ronnie

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JK | @contentandwell | Mar 31, 2019
In reply to @klaubi "Does anyone have any ideas on what low impact exercises I can do while my ribs..." + (show)
@klaubi

Does anyone have any ideas on what low impact exercises I can do while my ribs are healing. I heard swimming is not good but I don't know. Thx?

Jump to this post

@klaubi My first thought was water of course. There are other exercises you can do in the pool that are low-impact. I do not swim, I hate to put my head under, plus I wear hearing aids, so I water-jog. The advantage of doing that with my hearing aids in is that I can stream music to them from my phone. Not only does it make time pass faster but I vary my speed to match the music! There are bluetooth ear pods too.
I also do a recumbent bike because that too is low-impact, and of course the elliptical is low-impact but that may be too strenuous for your ribs. Maybe you could check with your doctor and see if you wrapped your mid-section you could do those.
If you find out any others I would like to know myself. With two knee replacements I try to keep low-impact.
JK

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2011panc | @2011panc | Apr 1, 2019
In reply to @grandmar "@catmom777 I am so sorry for your diagnosis. I know how scary it can be when..." + (show)
@grandmar

@catmom777
I am so sorry for your diagnosis. I know how scary it can be when you have a dx and know nothing about the illness. Knowledge is power, so find out all you can about all you have, how they work or do not work together and get support either from on-line supporters (like us) or by a therapist.

I understand how you feel defeated. You've probably feel like all your life (or at least the mature parts) you've done the right things in taking care of yourself and then you are slammed with something like this. I feel the same way. For me, it's been like a domino affect. I get one thing, deal with it, get another, deal with it and so on and so forth. I am only 64 and I feel like 164. For me, I suppose the fact that my mom got sick at 64 and died at 66. Guess it is in the back of my mind.

I really don't have any terminal illnesses, but I do have conditions that are impacting my ability to walk. I am seeing doctors and being tested for a variety of possibilities, but all I am thinking about is that I already HAVE TO WALK WITH A CANE and that soon I might not be able to walk at all! That is my fear!!! Yes, I know things could be A LOT WORSE, but this is not the direction I saw my life going in. The impact on my honey is horrible and it is written all over his face. He watches me like a hawk and when I am not in his sight and he hears a sound, his heart drops. My daughter and her family live down the street and I see it pain in her eyes and that of my 8 year old granddaughter.

I wonder, as all these things happen and people check on me, I wonder if they have had enough of asking me or my hubby, "How is Ronnie doing?" Do they really want to know??????

Just thinking...……..
You ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

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@catmom777 and @grandmar Your exchanges have caught my eye regarding life not going in the direction you intended or expected. I went through the stages of grief after a death and realized that those same steps were occurring for me over the health issues of my baby and myself. That gave me a place to start, so I started working the grief recovery steps of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Acceptance was really tough for me to get to, but so beneficial for me and essential for the quality of life that I want for my child and myself. My grief journeys did not progress at the same rate in both situations.
That first step of Denial didn't last long with my son because things happened that had to be taken care of and there was no way to deny that the health needs were really there. For me it was easier to fight for my child than for myself, and that got my grief journey for my child's health moving. I ignored all but the most essential requirements for myself until someone pointed out that if I did not take care of myself I would not be able to take care of my child. That got me going for myself. I moved through Anger pretty quickly, But got stuck in Bargaining for a while for my child, to busy to bother bargaining for myself. I remember dealing with God while following and ambulance 100 miles to a bigger hospital with a neonatal unit. First I asked that God let my child still be alive when I get there, then realized that might be harder than walking into the finality of death. Then I was confused so I asked God to do what was best, but please, if he was not going to take my child on this trip, please give some relief to the constant stress until my child reached at least 18. God answered that prayer with life that night, and that child has been living a reasonably stable life for over 40 years. Depression held me up for a long while until after there was some easing of constant needs for my child, better attention to my own needs and other life successes. I became driven to manage, control and advance myself and my family as much as possible. When I finally was starting to break from the life and self-imposed stress (and I was premenopausal) I got started on an antidepressant which benefitted all areas of my life. After some relief from depression I was finally able to find my form of Acceptance. It is not a one and done for me. It fluctuates with each new or renewed health issue, but it is easier now to get back to Acceptance than it was to get there the first time. I know how to find new paths better now.
That is my story and I am sorry to be so wordy. If you want to use any of my path you are welcome to it. It was free to me and I share it freely. You remain in my prayers as your journey continues. Blessings.

REPLY
2 replies
JK | @contentandwell | Apr 1, 2019
In reply to @2011panc "@catmom777 and @grandmar Your exchanges have caught my eye regarding life not going in the direction..." + (show)
@2011panc

@catmom777 and @grandmar Your exchanges have caught my eye regarding life not going in the direction you intended or expected. I went through the stages of grief after a death and realized that those same steps were occurring for me over the health issues of my baby and myself. That gave me a place to start, so I started working the grief recovery steps of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Acceptance was really tough for me to get to, but so beneficial for me and essential for the quality of life that I want for my child and myself. My grief journeys did not progress at the same rate in both situations.
That first step of Denial didn't last long with my son because things happened that had to be taken care of and there was no way to deny that the health needs were really there. For me it was easier to fight for my child than for myself, and that got my grief journey for my child's health moving. I ignored all but the most essential requirements for myself until someone pointed out that if I did not take care of myself I would not be able to take care of my child. That got me going for myself. I moved through Anger pretty quickly, But got stuck in Bargaining for a while for my child, to busy to bother bargaining for myself. I remember dealing with God while following and ambulance 100 miles to a bigger hospital with a neonatal unit. First I asked that God let my child still be alive when I get there, then realized that might be harder than walking into the finality of death. Then I was confused so I asked God to do what was best, but please, if he was not going to take my child on this trip, please give some relief to the constant stress until my child reached at least 18. God answered that prayer with life that night, and that child has been living a reasonably stable life for over 40 years. Depression held me up for a long while until after there was some easing of constant needs for my child, better attention to my own needs and other life successes. I became driven to manage, control and advance myself and my family as much as possible. When I finally was starting to break from the life and self-imposed stress (and I was premenopausal) I got started on an antidepressant which benefitted all areas of my life. After some relief from depression I was finally able to find my form of Acceptance. It is not a one and done for me. It fluctuates with each new or renewed health issue, but it is easier now to get back to Acceptance than it was to get there the first time. I know how to find new paths better now.
That is my story and I am sorry to be so wordy. If you want to use any of my path you are welcome to it. It was free to me and I share it freely. You remain in my prayers as your journey continues. Blessings.

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@2011panc I am so sorry for what you went through. To me, there could be nothing worse than when your child is sick, and to have that child have a life-threatening condition must have been incredibly difficult.
I admire the strength you have had during that time and now. I am so happy that your child is doing well now, but as a mother, our worry never ceases. I have constant underlying worries also.
JK

REPLY
1 reply
Debbra Williams, Alumna Mentor | @debbraw | Apr 1, 2019
In reply to @klaubi "Does anyone have any ideas on what low impact exercises I can do while my ribs..." + (show)
@klaubi

Does anyone have any ideas on what low impact exercises I can do while my ribs are healing. I heard swimming is not good but I don't know. Thx?

Jump to this post

Hi @klaubi - So sorry to hear about your fractured ribs. It must be terribly painful. Here is an article that might be helpful. Basically, they say low impact cardio (like slow bike riding, slow walking), deep breathing (helps prevent collapsed lung), and stretching (like gentle yoga). Are you currently doing any physical therapy? Best of luck in healing.

REPLY
1 reply
catmom777 | @catmom777 | Apr 1, 2019
In reply to @2011panc "@catmom777 and @grandmar Your exchanges have caught my eye regarding life not going in the direction..." + (show)
@2011panc

@catmom777 and @grandmar Your exchanges have caught my eye regarding life not going in the direction you intended or expected. I went through the stages of grief after a death and realized that those same steps were occurring for me over the health issues of my baby and myself. That gave me a place to start, so I started working the grief recovery steps of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Acceptance was really tough for me to get to, but so beneficial for me and essential for the quality of life that I want for my child and myself. My grief journeys did not progress at the same rate in both situations.
That first step of Denial didn't last long with my son because things happened that had to be taken care of and there was no way to deny that the health needs were really there. For me it was easier to fight for my child than for myself, and that got my grief journey for my child's health moving. I ignored all but the most essential requirements for myself until someone pointed out that if I did not take care of myself I would not be able to take care of my child. That got me going for myself. I moved through Anger pretty quickly, But got stuck in Bargaining for a while for my child, to busy to bother bargaining for myself. I remember dealing with God while following and ambulance 100 miles to a bigger hospital with a neonatal unit. First I asked that God let my child still be alive when I get there, then realized that might be harder than walking into the finality of death. Then I was confused so I asked God to do what was best, but please, if he was not going to take my child on this trip, please give some relief to the constant stress until my child reached at least 18. God answered that prayer with life that night, and that child has been living a reasonably stable life for over 40 years. Depression held me up for a long while until after there was some easing of constant needs for my child, better attention to my own needs and other life successes. I became driven to manage, control and advance myself and my family as much as possible. When I finally was starting to break from the life and self-imposed stress (and I was premenopausal) I got started on an antidepressant which benefitted all areas of my life. After some relief from depression I was finally able to find my form of Acceptance. It is not a one and done for me. It fluctuates with each new or renewed health issue, but it is easier now to get back to Acceptance than it was to get there the first time. I know how to find new paths better now.
That is my story and I am sorry to be so wordy. If you want to use any of my path you are welcome to it. It was free to me and I share it freely. You remain in my prayers as your journey continues. Blessings.

Jump to this post

Thanks for telling your story. That is a story of survival. I'm glad your son survived it all. You have such a wise perspective on it all. You are right. I am in the bargaining stage right now. I cannot give up because I have two grandchildren that will be needing me over the next decade at least. Their parents don't quite have their act together. So, I have to live until the baby grows up and is doing OK--for 20 more years. I'm bargaining over that. If I live. . . . etc.
It's been hard to plan my day, but today and tomorrow are planned and will be busy and productive. Small steps, right?

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