Sadness over diagnosis

Posted by catmom777 @catmom777, Sat, Mar 30 6:04pm

I feel so sad about being diagnosed with afib. I also have some breathing issues (which might be causing my afib) and think I might have chronic bronchitis. I was also diagnosed with osteoporosis. None of these are a death sentence per se, but after a lifetime of being extremely healthy, I feel defeated. I did not see any of this coming except the breathing issues as I've had repeated bouts of bronchitis since I was a child. I'm having trouble coping. I first thought I might not live much longer (didn't know anything about afib) and started going through my stuff so my family wouldn't have to deal with a lot of junk if I died, then got a handle on that when I learned that afib sufferers can live a long time, but I still feel devastated.
Is anyone else out there dealing with this?

Hello. My name is Karen. I have asthma and bronchitis I've had since I was 21. I'm now 60 yrs old. I was diagnosed with supraventricular tachycardia a fast and irregular heartbeat. Its not as serious as Afib but can turn into a Afib with time. I had a procedure done called cryoablation the part of the ventricle that is causing the heartbeat to race is frozen.and the heart is 'reset' in a sense. Afib is treated in the same way. I cracked multiple ribs 6months ago and some of them are slow to heal and the pain is relentless esp from coughing from my asthma. I finally went to a orthopedic Dr and was diagnosed with osteopenia and degenerative disc disease. Not a diagnosis I'm happy with but at least we're on the right track with being treated for the right issues. Hope everything works out for you.

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@catmom777 I can completely understand how devastated you must have been, but it is something you can live with for quite a while. My brother was diagnosed with afib when was 65, and he is now 78. He is in rough shape now, but there are other factors, and he has not taken care of himself nearly as well as he should have. If he had followed the lifestyle that he was told to follow, I am sure he would be going strong. His diet is not good, and he has gotten very little exercise.
JK

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@catmom777
I am so sorry for your diagnosis. I know how scary it can be when you have a dx and know nothing about the illness. Knowledge is power, so find out all you can about all you have, how they work or do not work together and get support either from on-line supporters (like us) or by a therapist.

I understand how you feel defeated. You've probably feel like all your life (or at least the mature parts) you've done the right things in taking care of yourself and then you are slammed with something like this. I feel the same way. For me, it's been like a domino affect. I get one thing, deal with it, get another, deal with it and so on and so forth. I am only 64 and I feel like 164. For me, I suppose the fact that my mom got sick at 64 and died at 66. Guess it is in the back of my mind.

I really don't have any terminal illnesses, but I do have conditions that are impacting my ability to walk. I am seeing doctors and being tested for a variety of possibilities, but all I am thinking about is that I already HAVE TO WALK WITH A CANE and that soon I might not be able to walk at all! That is my fear!!! Yes, I know things could be A LOT WORSE, but this is not the direction I saw my life going in. The impact on my honey is horrible and it is written all over his face. He watches me like a hawk and when I am not in his sight and he hears a sound, his heart drops. My daughter and her family live down the street and I see it pain in her eyes and that of my 8 year old granddaughter.

I wonder, as all these things happen and people check on me, I wonder if they have had enough of asking me or my hubby, "How is Ronnie doing?" Do they really want to know??????

Just thinking………..
You ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

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Exactly. That is what is hard to deal with most–being gobsmacked by the diagnosis and wondering if I'll be disabled at some point. I live alone. I worry too about somebody turning me over to a guardian who will dictate what I do with the rest of my life. There are all kinds of scary scenarios that run through my mind–none of them anywhere on my radar even six months ago. My grandmother on my dad's side was walking and fine until she fell when she was in her early 90s and then had to be in a wheelchair the rest of her life, but she passed away at 102. I always thought I'd be like her.
I think being raise in a smoking household, having a lot of bouts with bronchitis, and then getting smoke inhalation is what did me in. I drank wine every night, but so do millions of people will no ill effects. Otherwise I was a textbook health nut.

I am sorry about your mobility being impacted. That is very scary. You are in fact too young for that. I am glad you have a husband to look out for you and a supportive family. I know it hurts you to see them worry, but you have to keep up hope. We can't give in to our fears.

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@klaubi

Hello. My name is Karen. I have asthma and bronchitis I've had since I was 21. I'm now 60 yrs old. I was diagnosed with supraventricular tachycardia a fast and irregular heartbeat. Its not as serious as Afib but can turn into a Afib with time. I had a procedure done called cryoablation the part of the ventricle that is causing the heartbeat to race is frozen.and the heart is 'reset' in a sense. Afib is treated in the same way. I cracked multiple ribs 6months ago and some of them are slow to heal and the pain is relentless esp from coughing from my asthma. I finally went to a orthopedic Dr and was diagnosed with osteopenia and degenerative disc disease. Not a diagnosis I'm happy with but at least we're on the right track with being treated for the right issues. Hope everything works out for you.

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Thanks for the reply. The positive stories of resilience will help me deal with this. I saw a woman at a local health food store who was using a portable oxygen pack and asked her to talk to me. She was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension 21 years ago. She said she went on oxygen in 2007. She travels, she gets around, she does what she wants, so that encouraged me also. She looks healthy aside from the oxygen pack. I gave her my number in case she feels like talking to me more about it.
It's one challenge after another, isn't it? When I feel real badly (I haven't felt good since my diagnosis–I think it's the Eliquis they put me on), I berate myself for getting smoke inhalation, for not taking more care not to get sick from clients, for drinking wine every night with dinner, and think "I am SO sorry for whatever I did to bring this on myself." It's true that once you lose your health there isn't much left. It's a challenge to get through the day now between the crazy heart and difficulty breathing, which I'm sure are connected.

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@contentandwell

@catmom777 I can completely understand how devastated you must have been, but it is something you can live with for quite a while. My brother was diagnosed with afib when was 65, and he is now 78. He is in rough shape now, but there are other factors, and he has not taken care of himself nearly as well as he should have. If he had followed the lifestyle that he was told to follow, I am sure he would be going strong. His diet is not good, and he has gotten very little exercise.
JK

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Yes, exercise is important. My sister has been after me for decades to get more exercise, join a gym, do yoga, whatever works. I have ignored her. I wish I hadn't. I hope to live to 80 or 85. I have a new grandson and want to see him grow up.
Thanks for the reply.

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@catmom777

Yes, exercise is important. My sister has been after me for decades to get more exercise, join a gym, do yoga, whatever works. I have ignored her. I wish I hadn't. I hope to live to 80 or 85. I have a new grandson and want to see him grow up.
Thanks for the reply.

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@catmom777
Congrats on your new grandson.
Grandchildren certainly do put a whole new perspective on things.
About 5 years ago, the doctor told me I had nodules on my lungs and she wanted me to see a pulmonologist.
I went crazy! I started crying that I had lung cancer and I was going to die.
I wouldn't be around to see my babies (grandchildren) grow up.
Forgot to mention that my mom, a non-smoker, died of lung cancer.
Thank goodness everything is OK and I get checked every 6 months.

Do what you need to in order to see your grands grow up!!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

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@catmom777

Thanks for the reply. The positive stories of resilience will help me deal with this. I saw a woman at a local health food store who was using a portable oxygen pack and asked her to talk to me. She was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension 21 years ago. She said she went on oxygen in 2007. She travels, she gets around, she does what she wants, so that encouraged me also. She looks healthy aside from the oxygen pack. I gave her my number in case she feels like talking to me more about it.
It's one challenge after another, isn't it? When I feel real badly (I haven't felt good since my diagnosis–I think it's the Eliquis they put me on), I berate myself for getting smoke inhalation, for not taking more care not to get sick from clients, for drinking wine every night with dinner, and think "I am SO sorry for whatever I did to bring this on myself." It's true that once you lose your health there isn't much left. It's a challenge to get through the day now between the crazy heart and difficulty breathing, which I'm sure are connected.

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@catmom777
Blaming yourself for your problems is counter-productive.
How ever and why you have the issues you do is in the past.
It is time to look forward to the future!
It is what it is and the best thing to do is to try to live each day to its fullest.
Funny, I guess I need to take my own advice, too! lol

Be Happy!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

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@catmom777

Yes, exercise is important. My sister has been after me for decades to get more exercise, join a gym, do yoga, whatever works. I have ignored her. I wish I hadn't. I hope to live to 80 or 85. I have a new grandson and want to see him grow up.
Thanks for the reply.

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@catmom777 Good morning Yes exercise helps all around we do chair exercises where I live 2times a week keeps you young Go on You tube you can find alot of diff types Jackie Tally chair exercises are good and easy to do

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@grandmar

@catmom777
I am so sorry for your diagnosis. I know how scary it can be when you have a dx and know nothing about the illness. Knowledge is power, so find out all you can about all you have, how they work or do not work together and get support either from on-line supporters (like us) or by a therapist.

I understand how you feel defeated. You've probably feel like all your life (or at least the mature parts) you've done the right things in taking care of yourself and then you are slammed with something like this. I feel the same way. For me, it's been like a domino affect. I get one thing, deal with it, get another, deal with it and so on and so forth. I am only 64 and I feel like 164. For me, I suppose the fact that my mom got sick at 64 and died at 66. Guess it is in the back of my mind.

I really don't have any terminal illnesses, but I do have conditions that are impacting my ability to walk. I am seeing doctors and being tested for a variety of possibilities, but all I am thinking about is that I already HAVE TO WALK WITH A CANE and that soon I might not be able to walk at all! That is my fear!!! Yes, I know things could be A LOT WORSE, but this is not the direction I saw my life going in. The impact on my honey is horrible and it is written all over his face. He watches me like a hawk and when I am not in his sight and he hears a sound, his heart drops. My daughter and her family live down the street and I see it pain in her eyes and that of my 8 year old granddaughter.

I wonder, as all these things happen and people check on me, I wonder if they have had enough of asking me or my hubby, "How is Ronnie doing?" Do they really want to know??????

Just thinking………..
You ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

Jump to this post

@grandmar I can understand your fears. I actually never expected to make it to 70 since my parents were 65 and 67 when they passed away, and none of my mother's siblings made it into their 70s. I will be 72 this year, my sister will be 75. We both feel that if my parents had lived as we do, a better diet, getting exercise, they would have been with us longer.

Your husband obviously loves you and hates to see you going through this. My husband was so concerned when I had cirrhosis, he really thought he was going to lose me, which he never said at the time. I actually wish he would have acknowledged to me this possibility, it would have validated my own feelings. Try to be hopeful and positive, I really feel that contributes to how well we do. I can imagine not wanting to have to be in a wheelchair, but it beats the alternative.

@catmom777 I too didn't bother with exercise for years, and let my weight get out of control. I know the weight and diet were responsible for my diabetes and cirrhosis. I hope my son and daughter will learn from that. I exercise at least six days a week now, alternating pool exercises with gym exercises, and if I don't make it to my health club, I do my recumbent bike at home. I do berate myself at times for letting this happen but mostly I just move forward. It's not too late for you to start exercising, even if it's just walking. If you have a health club with a pool though, water exercise is very good, and non-impact if that's a concern. Yesterday in my water aerobics class my BPM was up to 140! I can't even get it that high on the elliptical. You can start slowly and gradually increase. I generally do about an hour and a half in the water. First I go to class which lasts for about 50 minutes to an hour, and then I do enough more water jogging to be in the water for an hour and a half. I have gradually increased the weight on the machines at the gym, and have gone from about 10 pounds to 40 – 50 depending on the piece of equipment. Don't give up.
JK

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@grandmar I was the same way we ate everything we shouldn't I cooked in bacon grease flavor so good but it was my son actually when he started eating vegetarian I did to but I still can't give up butter I have cut down and know I need to let it go too .I go between chair and pool for exercise

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@catmom777. Hi cat mom, I desperately wanted to talk to you! I am in the same situation! I am 61, unmarried, no children. I just found out I have afib, had severe cellulitis and lymphedema in my rt leg, and had to go on oxygen. I spent a month in a rehab hospital, just getting out a week ago. I take Xarelto, I had a pulmonary embolism. I worry constantly about what will happen to me if something happens to my only sibling, a brother. I will have nowhere to go-will I have to go into a nursing home? We live together and I know I should live elsewhere but I can’t. I can’t abide living alone. He treats me like i am inferior and is constantly angry with me-constantly. Yet he buys me stuff and if I ask him to do something, he will-begrudgingly. He’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Anyway, I saw me in your writing. I have no friends here-I just moved here. So no one came to see me while I was in the hospital-except Rick who works 15 minutes away and only came once a week. I wish I could exercise outside, but there is a ramp to the parking lot and I don’t feel safe on it alone; therefore, I can’t drive myself anywhere. So what’s left is YouTube exercises. I can do those-until my oxygen goes down. I’ve concluded that the best thing to do is stop worrying about the future. My PCP gets mad at me for seeing a pain specialist and taking opioids. She looks me in the face and says “I hate opioids”. She hates that I get anti anxiety medicine from my psychiatrist. But these meds help me cope and stop focusing on my pain and anxiety! So cat mom, I didn’t mean to write so much about myself! It just felt good to have someone who probably understood me. Please let me hear from you…..ironic but I am a dog mom!…….Karen

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@karen00

@catmom777. Hi cat mom, I desperately wanted to talk to you! I am in the same situation! I am 61, unmarried, no children. I just found out I have afib, had severe cellulitis and lymphedema in my rt leg, and had to go on oxygen. I spent a month in a rehab hospital, just getting out a week ago. I take Xarelto, I had a pulmonary embolism. I worry constantly about what will happen to me if something happens to my only sibling, a brother. I will have nowhere to go-will I have to go into a nursing home? We live together and I know I should live elsewhere but I can’t. I can’t abide living alone. He treats me like i am inferior and is constantly angry with me-constantly. Yet he buys me stuff and if I ask him to do something, he will-begrudgingly. He’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Anyway, I saw me in your writing. I have no friends here-I just moved here. So no one came to see me while I was in the hospital-except Rick who works 15 minutes away and only came once a week. I wish I could exercise outside, but there is a ramp to the parking lot and I don’t feel safe on it alone; therefore, I can’t drive myself anywhere. So what’s left is YouTube exercises. I can do those-until my oxygen goes down. I’ve concluded that the best thing to do is stop worrying about the future. My PCP gets mad at me for seeing a pain specialist and taking opioids. She looks me in the face and says “I hate opioids”. She hates that I get anti anxiety medicine from my psychiatrist. But these meds help me cope and stop focusing on my pain and anxiety! So cat mom, I didn’t mean to write so much about myself! It just felt good to have someone who probably understood me. Please let me hear from you…..ironic but I am a dog mom!…….Karen

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@karen00 hi Karen, I have heard of places like “adult day care” that pick the person up, bring them to a social center, and bring them home at the end of the day. I think you can do it for whatever number of days a week you want. Would something like that help?
My sister who has no health or physical problems, goes to a senior center once a week and really enjoys it. She drives but I think many of those too have pickup service. Some play games, they have tailored exercise classes, and she has made new friends there.
JK

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@karen00 That's a great idea if you are a veteran they pick you up and bring you back ,a friend here had this service

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@lioness

@grandmar I was the same way we ate everything we shouldn't I cooked in bacon grease flavor so good but it was my son actually when he started eating vegetarian I did to but I still can't give up butter I have cut down and know I need to let it go too .I go between chair and pool for exercise

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@lioness
You know what? We can only do what we can do. If butter is your 'thing' that makes you able to do everything else, then who really cares? You do a wonderful job!
Ronnie

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