Suicide: Finding it hard to lose someone by suicide

Posted by anndomico @anndomico, Feb 28, 2019

Dealing with the feelings of loss after a person known to you commits suicide,

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@lisalucier

Hi, @jimmy370 - thanks for sharing your experiences with pain and your ketamine treatment so far. Have you had any side effects at all?

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Hi Jim @jimmy370, do you have any information on esketamine. Tomorrow I will be starting on Morphine, I'm petrified. Only time I had was in a Morphine drip in a hospital setting. Side effects, extreme sweating. Past few days speaking with others I don't seem to be making sense?? Will the Morphine exaggerate it? I do NOT want to be "stoned". Has anyone taken Morphine for pain?

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@georgette12

I didn't see discussion on suicide loss before. Did I miss it. My son committed suicide.

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georgette, My son committed suicide also. I still have a blank spot where he use to be. And it has been 26 years. I am not feeling grief anymore, but just have this blank spot where he was not in my life anymore. My younger son has had to experience his father's death and will have to deal with me by himself.

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@amazingteal

georgette, My son committed suicide also. I still have a blank spot where he use to be. And it has been 26 years. I am not feeling grief anymore, but just have this blank spot where he was not in my life anymore. My younger son has had to experience his father's death and will have to deal with me by himself.

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@amazingteal. Thank you for sharing. It's helpful when others have experienced this pain. My son died in 2016 and it's always on my mind. TV shows, music, certain foods trigger PTSD. My youngest son, who is my deceased son's half brother, deals with his father's suicide as well as his brother.

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My eldest son committed suicide 26 years ago. Everyone who loved him picked up the pain he left behind. As his mother, my guilt level knew it was my fault.
And some of us had to go stand on the edge of the abyss and decide if we would join him. None of us did.

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@amazingteal

My eldest son committed suicide 26 years ago. Everyone who loved him picked up the pain he left behind. As his mother, my guilt level knew it was my fault.
And some of us had to go stand on the edge of the abyss and decide if we would join him. None of us did.

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Hi, @amazingteal - wow. Profound words.

I can't even imagine losing one of my sons. My heart would surely be shattered. Beyond difficult.

So now, 26 years after your son died, are you still feeling guilt?

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My heart is broken. My brother exploded himself, his home and 2 other homes. Left 8 people homeless and 3 other homes condemned. I am still in a denial. Mikayla

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@mikaylar

My heart is broken. My brother exploded himself, his home and 2 other homes. Left 8 people homeless and 3 other homes condemned. I am still in a denial. Mikayla

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@mikaylar, you are not alone. You'll notice that I moved your message about being in denial about your brother's suicide to this existing discussion
- – Suicide: Finding it hard to lose someone by suicide https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/suicide-1/

I did this so you can connect with others like @georgette12 @anndomico @parus @hopeful33250 @mcmurf2 @sheridonaldson @amazingteal @grannydee and more who understand your broken heart and how difficult coping with loss by suicide is.

I know for your earlier post (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/665574/) that you dearly loved your brother. I encourage to read through the past messages and to continue to share how you are doing. I'll repeat - you're not alone and members are here to listen and hold space with you.
Sending you a gentle virtual hug.

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Thank you for reaching out during this painful time. I have experienced the loss of loved ones through suicide...and you will find many of us here who have been there. You are welcome to contact me personally or one of our counselors...we are here for you.

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@georgette12

I did all of the suggestions recommended by Survivors of suicide/alliance of hope organization. It was and still is vital to continue grief counseling and it is especially important to share with others who are survivors. The first thing I will say is that GUILT is what I deal with most. Because I'm his mother. I should have been able to stop him

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@georgette12 I lost my brother over 30 years ago to suicide. I know that my mother feels guilty as well. However, having been suicidal myself, I understood my brother. I have tried to explain to my mother many times that it was NOT her fault. When you are suicidal, unfortunately the last thing you want to do is speak to anyone. You are absolutely convinced that nothing will ever get better & that everyone would be better off without you. I'm not saying that it's a rational argument, but that is how it feels.

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@kmj1967

@georgette12 I lost my brother over 30 years ago to suicide. I know that my mother feels guilty as well. However, having been suicidal myself, I understood my brother. I have tried to explain to my mother many times that it was NOT her fault. When you are suicidal, unfortunately the last thing you want to do is speak to anyone. You are absolutely convinced that nothing will ever get better & that everyone would be better off without you. I'm not saying that it's a rational argument, but that is how it feels.

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We lost our son years ago, (heart breaking big time) and he must similar feelings like your brother as mentioned.
Sorry for your loss, God bless.

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