Severe Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia

ok ED are you in Ireland or northern Ireland or UK

I find that question awfully suspicious.

@yangedd

Thanks for your response about your work situation. I must say, if I wasn't working I would be feeling anxiety and paranoia! How do you pay for things without working? Perhaps the UK has a system that supports you if you don't have work or money. BTW, I don't think there was anything suspicious about Sirgalahad's question. He's just trying to picture where you live since he's been in those areas.

I agree with Sirgalahad that you probably should stay away from Marijuana and especially smoking it. CBD tincture/oil is easily purchased and you just put the drops under your tongue and hold them there for 30 seconds. I personally use a dropper and about .50 mg. You will need to experiment with the right amount for you. I find the addition of some THC helps the CBD work. I like a 3:1 CBD to THC ratio works best for me. It takes between 45 minutes to 2 hours for the full effects to be felt. It's effects are very mild, and for me consist of a relaxing, calming feeling that allows me to let go of my anxiety. I don't get stoned on CBD. I did get paranoid with THC, sometimes to the point of panic attacks. I no longer use THC for that reason.

As far as the guy in the grocery, perhaps he is attracted to you. Does that scare you? You said previously that you are gay; are you not wanting any relationships with others? From your writings it sounds as if you're struggling relating to others in healthy and appropriate ways, i.e. your psychiatrist blowup.
- Can you explain further what that interaction was about, and what set you off?
- Have you gone back to see this doctor or get some other counseling?

I think it would be greatly supportive for you to have counseling. You may find benefit from having someone local with whom you can share your feelings and thoughts without worry. I was in talk counseling for 20 years and finally added an antidepressant and CBD.
I am much more stable and comfortable in my life now. I hope you can find peace and feel safe in yourself Ed.

sorry I didn't mean to make you upset because I have friends in the autism community and the neuro diverse community in England and Ireland and I was just enquiring .I have a friend whom is doctor in Dublin if you are in Ireland and can ask her to assist you and see if you would like to have her as your doctor . all of my friends whom can offer links and advise are in wales England and Scotland and they know the NHS system far better than me .if EIRE or Ireland don't know the health system .I was just trying to get some additional assistance to help you .

Not a bother man.

This morning hasn't been so bad. I slept last night a little anyway. I smoked and chilled with some music. I have a meeting with my key worker soon so just preparing for that.

Ed

Hi, @yangedd - I'm sorry you have been feeling some negativity and paranoia, especially with the article you read on the hospital you were in and the murder of a psych ward patient who took the same route to the village you have taken many times. I, too, would feel rather spooked with reading about that.

I also wanted to affirm the fact that you are spending a lot of time writing of late, as many find writing very therapeutic. I personally like writing a lot. Your use of music to chill is also a good idea. In fact, you may have seen the thread on Connect that @parus started a while back entitled "Music Helps Me," where a number of members talk all about how music contributes to their health. https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/music-helps-me

Glad to hear this morning has not been so bad and you at least slept a little.

@sirgalahad and @gailb had some concerns about you using marijuana at this time, due to potential negative impact on your mental health. I know that both of them care about you. I wanted to point out a couple resources that may be useful, and note a few points they make, if I may:

-First, I wanted to suggest you might check out this Mayo Clinic article on marijuana https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements-marijuana/art-20364974. There are a few quotes from the article that are particularly notable and may be important, @yangedd, as you seek to protect your health:

“However, marijuana use can cause cognitive impairment and should be used with caution if you have a mental health condition.”

“Marijuana can cause:
Headache
Dry mouth
Dry eyes
Lightheadedness
Dizziness
Drowsiness
Fatigue
Nausea
Paranoid thinking
A disconnected state (dissociation)
Increased appetite
Coughs”

“If you have a mental health condition, use marijuana with caution. Marijuana use might worsen manic symptoms in people who have bipolar disorder. If used frequently, marijuana might increase the risk of depression. Marijuana use also might worsen depression symptoms. Research suggests that marijuana use increases the risk of psychosis in people who have schizophrenia.

Smoking marijuana can affect your memory and cognitive function and cause harmful cardiovascular effects, such as high blood pressure.”

“Possible interactions include:
>Alcohol. Marijuana use might increase the effects of alcohol.
>CNS depressants. Marijuana use in combination with CNS depressants might cause an additive sedative effect.
>Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Mixing marijuana with this type of antidepressant might increase the risk of mania.”

-Second, I wanted to mention you might look at this article published in Mayo Clinic Proceedings, Feb. 2012, by Raphael Mechoulam, PhD Institute for Drug Research, Medical Faculty, Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel https://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/article/S0025-6196(11)00027-9/fulltext. This article also makes some points I wanted to note, just as a kind caution to you, @yangedd, especially about marijuana's capacity to contribute to anti-anxiety while also having the potential to go the other way and prompt anxiety issues.

“However, from a medical point of view, marijuana is a valuable drug. It lowers certain types of pain; has antianxiety, anti-inflammatory, and antispastic effects; and enhances appetite. Its adverse effects are also well known. It can precipitate anxiety attacks or even schizophrenia in susceptible individuals, although, surprisingly, the extent of schizophrenia in the general population does not seem to have increased in parallel with the very wide use of marijuana for recreational purposes.”

Please know we care about you, @yangedd, thus are concerned about you using marijuana right now just due to the potential side effects and interactions which have the potential to make things worse for you as you seek calm in your life and good mental health.

You talked about preparing for a meeting with your key worker, @yangedd. Hope it goes well. Have to mention, though, that I'm not sure I'm familiar with the term/position "key worker." Would you share a little about what that is and your meeting?

Hey Lisa

Thank you for the links. I'll get around to reading them.

Actually yanno, sometimes I do get very freaked out and paranoid after I smoke. Things can get very sinister and dark and you can suddenly find yourself questioning your sanity. Other times though I'm relaxed and very creative.

Yes Lisa, I love writing. I do so much of it every day.

Ed

Hi, @yangedd - just wanted to check in and see how you are doing?

@yangedd - wanted you to know you've not been forgotten, and it would be great to hear an update on how you are doing lately.