Severe Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia

@yangedd - great to hear from you, and glad you came here to chat when you are feeling like this. Sounds like it's been a very difficult week, and your body and mind are having a tough time. I can imagine that would feel terrifying to have a feeling of impending doom. I'd think that anticipating the 9th anniversary with your mum would also be very hard.

I'd like to invite some of the members who have chatted with you before into this conversation, as I am confident they'd like to hear from you and be helpful in any way they can, like @gingerw @hopeful33250 @gailb @parus @merpreb @sirgalahad.

Do you have access to any form of urgent care or a substitute for your own doctor while away so you might get checked out? What is your hunch about how you are feeling - is a virus possibly mixed in there, or are you thinking it's stemming from stress, anxiety or the BPD?

Hello @yangedd

I'm glad that Lisa, @lisalucier, tagged me on your post. When you say you are approaching the 9th anniversary, this must mean the anniversary of your mum's death? If so, I'd like to invite you to a discussion we have on Connect which I started a year ago. It is called Loss and Grief: How are you doing? Here is a link to that discussion,https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/loss-and-grief-how-are-you-doing/. Just click on this link and you will read my post first about the death of my dad and then you will see over 600 other posts from people all over the world who have responded to this question.

If you don't feel like talking just now, how about just reading what some other people have written? I feel sure that you can identify with many of the posts there and if you feel like doing so, just hit "Reply" and you can connect with someone else who has lost a mom.

Will you let me know how you are doing tomorrow?

@yangedd So glad to hear from you, even under difficult times for you. There is an emotional response to certain anniversaries, sometimes happy, more often overwhelmingly sad. It is normal, I believe. It is human nature to wonder what a family member would be like now if they were still with us, how old they would be, what we might do with them. Then we realize it won't be like that. Those feelings piled on top of anything else feel like such a mountain to climb, doesn't it? May I suggest you be gentle on yourself. Try some deep breathing to relax, take a walk outside if possible, fix yourself something pleasurable to eat. And keep talking to us!
Ginger

@yangedd I want to send my best and hugs to you with the impending anniversary of your mothers passing and her continuing journey on .I am Autistic I am coming up to my mums 15th anniversary of her passing when she fell down 2 flights of stairs and fractured her skull and aortic aneurysm my mums was 2 days after her birthday 15/2/04 .
I would like to send heaps of love and to say I understand , what has helped me on this day is to remember her beautiful ,unconditional love and wisdom and hugs and trying to being grateful for what she gave me which is life and existence. I always have an oil burner of lavender and franckinscence burning which helps me chill , I send lots of love in prayer and to go thru a period of gratefulness .thanking mum for stuff . I also recognize how hard this day is and always try and do nice stuff and honor her and go and visit her grave and say thanks there .listen to beautiful music which she loved gilbert and Sullivan mainly . I also collect her favorite flowers and have remedial massage . I try and be kind to myself and to be quiet and calm and to avoid what I call is the would of's should of's and if only .mainly because as an autie it increases my anxieties and depression and too much epinephrine flooding my amygdala .which will physically increase the anxieties and depression . I sometimes try and volunteer in mums charities and doing stuff to honor my mum. I also take my meds and mood stabilizer and or over acounter mild sedative or white tea or peppermint and or chamomile tea . try and think beautiful things and to let everything go over my head or pass me and not engage in or with anyone . make it a very special day in memeories of my mum .tis is what has helped me get through and pass my mums death .I had to witness her autopsy as an executor of her estate and explain to the police my whereabouts when mum died and the crap from my sisters about resolving her and settling her estates .because my sister hated me and wanted only mums monies and didn't care about my grief and hurt and just get on with the job

What great ideas, @sirgalahad!

@yangedd

I'm sorry to hear about your illness right now and look forward to your update when you're feeling better. I think Lisa may have hit on your basic issue as possibly being the flu, mixed in with your emotions. Did you get a flu shot for this winter? I think you should stay in bed for a few more days and see if your physical symptoms improve. Let us know how you are doing.

I do hope this helps because of being burnt out and melt down my executive functioning skills is basically fried and my levels of empathy are tad non existent . I contemplated this as I went for a walk yesterday to give myself a break from my assessing blood samples of the oncology children I am working with

You are so kind, @sirgalahad. I'm grateful you share your kindness here on Connect!

Thank you guys.

I'm sorry for not replying today but I was so exhausted and burned out that I slept for nearly three hours. I'm after downloading an app called Calm from Google Play and bought Camomile tea so I'm going to try to relax at least a little. I will post a full update tomorrow.

Hopefully I can just stop feeling so alert and highly on edge for a little bit. It's 11:30pm here now so I'm praying for some release as I have my appointment with the nurse in the morning.

Have a lovely evening wherever you guys are and I will update tomorrow.

And thank you,

Ed

hugs miss Teresa