Gratitude Discussion Group

Posted by Debbra Williams, Alumna Mentor @debbraw, Nov 24, 2018

Hi everyone! Just before Thanksgiving @michellegraffradford posted a blog called Gratitude Changes Everything. She suggested three techniques to help incorporate gratitude into our daily lives:


  • Start the Day with Gratitude (before getting up think of three people you are grateful for)

  • Maintain a Gratitude Journal to record times when you are grateful

  • Count Blessings – not sheep! (Review the day and remember moments of gratitude)


Her blogpost was so inspiring that a lot of us decided we wanted to form a Gratitude Group to keep the attitude of gratitude going. The blogpost area is not an ideal space for a big discussion group so I am moving the discussion over here to the “Just Want to Talk” Group. Let’s use this space to share and discuss our Gratitude Journey. I’m going to suggest that we each try to take a minute from the day and post here what has made us feel thankful today. It can be as small as a stranger’s smile on the bus or as large as fulfilling a major life dream – or anywhere in between. We can also discuss how we are doing with the three techniques. Sometimes it is easier to form new habits with support from others.

Michelle's full blogpost is at the link below. You may want to review it or print it out to help get started!
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/living-with-mild-cognitive-impairment-mci/newsfeed/gratitude-changes-everything/
I look forward to hearing from others in the Gratitude Group and to having others join us here! Thanks to those who already shared great stories. If you haven't yet, what gratitude will you share today?!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

@2011panc

I am grateful to be alive and grateful to have a warm place to be with good food available. Today I am struggling with all the emotions of a family pre-grieving the death of our Mother. She has been in the hospital since Wednesday and I really thought she would go home again, but her heart and lungs are now failing and to treat either one puts the other at risk. I am prepared and Mother is prepared. She has been ready to go for a long time. Not all the siblings/grandchildren are ready though and with our family dynamics it is reasonable to expect nasty looks, snide remarks and raised voices. If you can spare me a prayer to remain calm through the family storm, I very much appreciate that. Some people will fight to the death. I want peace.

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Prayer said for your family for strength, peace and love
Blessings,
JoDee

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@2011panc

I am grateful to be alive and grateful to have a warm place to be with good food available. Today I am struggling with all the emotions of a family pre-grieving the death of our Mother. She has been in the hospital since Wednesday and I really thought she would go home again, but her heart and lungs are now failing and to treat either one puts the other at risk. I am prepared and Mother is prepared. She has been ready to go for a long time. Not all the siblings/grandchildren are ready though and with our family dynamics it is reasonable to expect nasty looks, snide remarks and raised voices. If you can spare me a prayer to remain calm through the family storm, I very much appreciate that. Some people will fight to the death. I want peace.

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@2011panc The death of a parent is so difficult. Thankfully when my mother passed all four siblings were on the same page. She had been in the hospital for 2.5 months and in a coma for the last few weeks. We knew it was coming and knew there was no way around that. Still, even knowing for a while that she was about to pass, when the night came that we were called back to the hospital it was a very emotional and difficult time.
JK

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@debbraw

I woke up feeling very, very grateful for acupuncture. I had been having some discomfort in my knee - probably strained it with a walk that was a little too vigorous. Yesterday I had an acupuncture treatment and today that knee is so much better. It's amazing what improved mobility can do for one's attitude!

I'm going to share an Emerson quote I came upon yesterday. It talks about what he was grateful for and I thought it might help get our day started on the right track: For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, ...For love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) Anybody else want to share some positive thoughts for the day?

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Debra, May I add this?
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have miles to go before I sleep.”

Be grateful for each mile you walk, weather it is easy or challenging. Be thankful for all that is good in your life.

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@contentandwell

@lioness We have woods between our home and the homes on the next street over - the lots here have to be at least 1.5 acres and we have over 2 acres. It really is nice and quiet. My husband was just commenting on that tonight, how lucky we are to be here. Even so, if we can get our butts in gear and get more organized we hope to sell this house, it's way too big for the two of us, and move someplace smaller, preferably one that has an association that takes care of outside maintenance. Our neighborhood has many young families because the houses are large. If we move elsewhere maybe there will be more seniors there. I will miss it here though.
JK

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We have many senior twins! I do not want to move from out too big house on beautiful land to a smaller place that need less upkeep. I like it here.
Praying!
Please say one for me 🙏
Will someone wrote about a move they made to a smaller residence and tell me all that they are enjoying? I need some convincing 😿

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@helenfrances

We have many senior twins! I do not want to move from out too big house on beautiful land to a smaller place that need less upkeep. I like it here.
Praying!
Please say one for me 🙏
Will someone wrote about a move they made to a smaller residence and tell me all that they are enjoying? I need some convincing 😿

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Sorry for all the misspellings.. it is late!!

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The end of a Corona night.
And we all have survived.

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@helenfrances

Debra, May I add this?
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have miles to go before I sleep.”

Be grateful for each mile you walk, weather it is easy or challenging. Be thankful for all that is good in your life.

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@helenfrances I love Robert Frost's poems. I have a book of them.
We want to move so we can have our master bedroom on the first floor. That is imperative for my husband, that and the upkeep required here. We both love our home and neighborhood though so that makes it difficult.
So much being published about Coronavirus now (not Corona beer! 😉)
JK

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@contentandwell

@helenfrances I love Robert Frost's poems. I have a book of them.
We want to move so we can have our master bedroom on the first floor. That is imperative for my husband, that and the upkeep required here. We both love our home and neighborhood though so that makes it difficult.
So much being published about Coronavirus now (not Corona beer! 😉)
JK

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@contentandwell I too am an admirer of Robert Frost. With all of the scuttlebutt flooding every nook and cranny of our lives I have elected to quarantine myself for the most part thus now being politically correct. Is it not enough for the government to manipulate us by arrogantly stealing 60 minutes from our day leaving us to suffer the theft. Then arrogantly give it back in the Fall. I can more sensibly accept the current upper echelon restrictions although it might be more reasonable to research Corona beer.

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@jimhd

@parus

You said you're not proud of the anger you feel when PTSD is triggered. My first response to that is that anger is an appropriate reaction. Not being proud of it implies to me that you feel guilt or shame for feeling angry.

I wonder how your anger presents. Physical response or mental or emotional response?

I was raised with the notion that anger was bad or wrong, and not allowed to express it. So, coping with it has been an ongoing struggle for me as an adult. It wasn't just anger that was banned. Tears, fear, frustration - expressing anything like those things was supposed to be suppressed. The result was that I kept everything in and wore the "I'm fine" mask. Not very healthy or productive. I wish my parents had taught us how to express instead of suppress our inner thoughts.

I think I've learned that anger in itself isn't bad. Rather, it's the expression of it that's important. Neither suppression nor eruption is usually the answer. It lies somewhere between the two. The word balance is a good one to apply to how we live out our lives.

So, what do you think? Any suggestions for me as to expressing anger and all its siblings appropriately? My 5 siblings and I have worked around the issues in our own ways.

Of course, our parents loved us and raised us to be loving, productive adults in many positive ways. I don't want to give the idea that our family was dysfunctional. We are and always have been a close knit bunch.

Jim

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@jimhd I, on the other hand grew up in a abusive, dysfunctional family. I was raised that anger was only for mommy.
As to how my anger presents-emotional, physical and mental. I have come to realize a therapist is of no help as it only dredges up all of the abuse that never made sense. I also learned to not cry, smile or show any sign of what was within me. The flat affect for years. Anger for me is a raucous internal thing. I wanted to end the cycle of abuse. It is always with me and comes forth with a smiling face that says I am not my past. I always wanted a close family. I ended up marrying my mother in male form. Nothing was never his fault. so many folks like this. Now with the internet I am once again cast into the pit of blathering, omniscient beings.
I have not yet found a way to express anger in a healthy way. When I nearly ended a close friendship of 50 years I knew I was in trouble. Eruption nor suppression is not the answer either. I do all I can to stay from things that may ignite the fuse. no wonder I am exhausted.
As to therapists they are a trigger. I am terrified of my anger at times.
I am thankful for the input here as we are all here to help one another.
Thanks again Jim for your honesty.
@merpreb I do find complacency more comfortable and a convenient escape. I am the cowardly lion for now. I dig deeply for my humor. I do so enjoy the Decorah Eagles!!!!
Grateful for those here helping me to continue on this journey. Enough, getting sappy and fingers are getting too tingly to do anymore for now.
I am going to make Irish stew. My son and I are going to have dinner together and catch up on things. So there are many good things in my life for which I am grateful. It is this guldern anger that trips me up. Baby steps.

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Today I am grateful for overcast skies to do my walk, rather than the rain and snow mix of the last few days. I am also glad to say that my habit of isolating is actually going be more socially acceptable, given the restrictions being set forth by different agencies/personnel as we traverse this COVID-19 situation.
Ginger

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