Gratitude Discussion Group

@parus- Good for you for sticking up for yourself. You'll be surprised at the results you'll get.

@merpreb Hopefully positive. I do know the head pain is ferocious now. Maybe things will settle down some. No pain specialist until April 30.

@parus- Do ice packs work at all?

@catmom777 I'm sorry your unable to forgive yourself it does take alot of work on your part Have you gone to a stranger like counselor or minister this helped me at the time but in the end it is your learning to let it go I wish you could you will feel much better

@catmom777- I'm so sorry that this has happened in your family. It's very very difficult to move on when you know that you hurt someone you love. And, unfortunately some things can't always be put in a drawer and never opened. You said that your daughter has forgiven you. How long ago did this "reconciliation" happen? Have you made amends? By this I mean have you attempted to try, in your own way, to makeup for what you did to her? How can you help make her life better? Would she allow this? Has she allowed you into her life enough that you can visit or see your grand kids? I really don't know if we can forgive ourselves, I think that it's more than the word forgive. Maybe it's acceptance of what you did, real acceptance and knowing that you can't undo the past. You can't exonerate yourself but feeling guilty about your mistake won't solve it either. So what do you think that your next move will be to start letting your guilt and anger go?

She has come to forgive me over the years. And yes, I'm allowed into my grandchildrens' lives. They live quite a ways from me though, so I hardly ever see them. I have done everything I can to make it up to her. I'm thinking lately that part of my heart issue is literally a broken heart. I've been living with this grief and regret since 2017. At first I self-medicated with wine, but as time went on my body wouldn't tolerate the alcohol so well, and now I can't drink at all. It's now something I live with. It helped when I worked, but I'm not sure I can work anymore either with this heart issue.
I agree that I have to let this go as much as I can. It is hurting me--killing me really. I have maybe ten years left to live, if I'm lucky, and I want those years to be better.

I went to counseling for years, even after she told me she'd been molested for years by my ex-BF, and it didn't help much. I have been thinking of trying to find a minister to talk to, esp since I've had these brushes with my mortality. It's like a bridge I need to cross over and I can't seem to do it by myself.

@catmom777- So many of us on here have been molested. It's just horrible. You didn't molest her your ex did. Why are you to blame?

@catmom777- When I feel guilty and angry at myself I can feel my entire body crumble, like I'm poisoning myself. In actuality there are chemicals that start pouring into our bodies that can cause a lot of damage. I don't know that letting go is the right term, but full out acceptance can help get you there. Are you ill, other than your heart that you have put 10 years on your life? I once sent the wrong email to someone that hurt them terribly, a relative. And it was based on an assumption. You can guess at the feelings that I carried for quite a while, even if I was forgiven. And of course that person won't forget it. I was in such shock that I had even written the damn thing that it took me quite a while to accept that I did send the email. I then started to feel better.

@hopeful33250 Sorry, That was another member’s duck. I do recall one like that but wasn’t me. How funny. The mystery remains. I like this one as to me it conveys the frustration I am feeling at this time.