The Journey of Grieving

@liz223 It is okay to want to be alone and take some time to recharge. This is a joyous time of the year and an even more difficult time when you are grieving. You are doing your best and it is okay to succumb to the grief and feel it as you can. Keep well hydrated and stay well. Not an easy time for you.

Today, my alone trip didn't work out and that was OK. When I went to the post office, I met a friend who doesn't like to go to the dining room alone, so I joined her for lunch. Then she wanted to know what I had planned for today. Actually I had taken Ben's clothes from our closet and they were in the back of my SUV. I was planning to take them to The Salvation Army and she asked if she could go with me. What could I say? After taking them, we went and bought two patio chairs for my apartment and some Pansies for her to plant at hers. Actually, she brightened my day and made my difficult task easier.

How nice for you, @liz223. I'm glad that you had a good day, even though it was different than what you had originally planned.
Wishing you more pleasant days to come.

@liz223 Good for you for being flexible! That's so important right now.
Ginger

@liz223 Spontaneous can be delightful!! Happy to hear.

Got in an alone day, but went shopping to look for a couple of curtain rods. Found them and also bought a neat little bench with storage room. Also stopped at Subway and had a sandwich. I visited the outdoor shop of Lowe's and it was great smelling the Christmas trees and seeing the joy of young families. The Poinsettias are beautiful. Came home, walked Wally and then we went to bed early and watched a couple of Christmas movies. What would I do without my Wally? A pet is so much comfort. Hope all have a good day. I'm headed to a doctor's appointment for a regular checkup. Life goes on.

Hi Liz, I think you are doing a great job. I’m glad you have Wally. I know it is a huge help to have a beloved pet. I am going through a grieving period in a different situation. My husband of 32 years has Alzheimer’s disease. He is 84 and I can’t believe how fast the disease is progressing. I try to adjust one day at a time. It became easier when I realized it is actually a grief process, because I lose a little more of him every day.
I met a woman when exercising at an indoor pool I go to, we got to talking. She lost her husband of 30 years in September and cried when she told me. It seems completely normal to do that. It is a process.
Also if you simply don’t have the energy to meet and greet people for a day, try giving yourself a rest for that day. I have found that when I do that, I bounce back the next day.
I know you are going to do better as time goes on. -Susan

@olliedog - hello, and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I can only imagine how hard it would be to see your long-time husband with Alzheimer's that seemed to be progressing fast. It makes a lot of sense that you would be grieving and feeling deep loss.

This is a really good discussion to be part of, and I want to encourage you to continue to talk here. Also, I wanted to suggest that you look into this discussion in our Connect Caregivers group on "Caring for Someone with Dementia/Alzheimer's" https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/caregiving-for-dementia-sufferers/.

Yes, I will look at it! I think it will be helpful. Thanks for your suggestion.

@liz223 Hi Liz,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum 28th February 2010 to Colon Cancer and it nearly finished me. I was in such a state of devastation and grief that half of the funeral is a blank. I do remember being at the church, but the burial is still a blank to this day. Even now, going on nine years later I just can't recall it (I was told that my Dad, myself and my brother had our hands around each other as the coffin went down with me nearly hysterical saying "I love you Mum") and my Psychotherapist tells me that I'm blocking it out to this day to avoid having to deal with it. I guess she is right in a way. I know I still can't come to terms with it and it took me three years to even look at her picture after she passed (My profile picture on here is the one I couldn't look at). I hope and pray that you continue to have good days Liz. Much love,

Ed