Help for dealing with personality disorder in family member

Hi @dazlin it must be difficult having a family member's health negatively affect you.

I wanted to introduce you to fellow Connect members @godsgiver @IndianaScott and @chocolate5lover as they can sympathize with a family member changing their lives, and may be able to offer support as you learn how to cope with the havoc you mentioned.

I also wanted to share that you can call any of the three Mayo Clinic campuses and ask if they offer such services. You'll find those numbers at this link: https://www.mayoclinic.org/appointments

@dazlin, you mentioned that your family member is wreaking havoc on you. Would you be comfortable explaining, or giving an example of behaviors that are causing you so much distress?

I am here if you would like to talk about it. I am a Christian, type 2 diabetic, have anxiety attacks, and other health issues. I can't tell you how disappointing it is when the one you love seems to turn away from you, when you need them most. Please try to get any help you can that is available to you, it can make a big difference. A professional can help you from going around in maddening circles over and over again. Prayer seems to help a great deal for me. I will pray for you. I am not a professional and far from perfect, but can chat with you anytime you like. God Bless!

I also am a devout Christian...I'm in constant prayer. I basically could use guidance and help understanding their thinking, and how to manage my approaches so I can be a part of their life.
Praying God intervenes, SOON!!

Hello @dazlin

I am sorry to hear of the turmoil you feel because of your family member's mental illness. I would highly recommend that you look for a NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) support group. Here is NAMI's website where you can find information on a support group in your area, https://www.nami.org/#

NAMI groups usually offer two different support groups, one for those who are dealing with mental illness and one for family members. The family member group gives everyone an opportunity to discuss how they are coping with the stressors of mental illness in their family. I believe that you would find their meetings most helpful.

As Ethan (@ethanmcconkey) said, you don't mentioned what specific behaviors are the most distressing for you. However, if there is an addiction involved you might also look into Al Anon groups in your area. They are specifically for family members of individuals who are dealing addictions. Here is their website, https://al-anon.org/.

I would also like to invite @gailb, @parus, @georgette12, @mamacita and @amberpep to this discussion. I think they will also have some helpful suggestions as well.

If you are a member of a church, your clergy person may also be able to help you find some counseling that would help you to cope.

Will you look into some of these groups?

Thank you all! I'm not a caregiver...this is someone very tender and dear I hold close in my heart. I'll surely look into the suggestions here..appreciate very much!

@dazlin Hello. I just wanted to interject that I have attended the free 12 week course through NAMI. It was a total Godsend. It really helped to understand the various mental disorders and also how to converse with those that have the disorder. The group tends to become close and that helps to provide comfort as well. Just about every town has a NAMI chapter. Best of luck to you.

I wouldn't say I'm dealing with a mental disease (I want to clear that up)...this is a highly intelligent person with more of a personality disorder that chooses poor decisions that always reap bad consequences...hurtful to the entire family and takes no responsibility for their actions...I really dont want to label it, but I surely know what it is. I wouldn't say it's an addiction either...pure delusional thinking to benefit oneself. Seems I become the blame and target as well if I dare offer advice or guidance.
Wreaking havoc on their own life as well. I'm looking into the programs suggested here...appreciate so much!!

The type of individual being described may not want to change unless that person wants to change.
Difficult situation for family and/or friends.

@parus ...exactly. Thats why it might help if I seek counseling.

@dazlin Surely would not hurt and a therapist may have suggestions as to how to deal with this person. It can be draining.