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Autism & the difficulty of getting & doing a job
Have you noticed it is difficult to get hired? And if you do get hired, have you noticed how it's almost impossible to do the job? If people with Autism don't stand up for their rights, no one else is going to. And in my opinion, no one has.
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Hello @avmcbellar,
That is the reason I suggested that you consult with an attorney in your state. I believe that your legal responsibility might be lessened (or perhaps nil) if he is declared by the court to not be responsible for his financial matters. I don't know Florida law, so you would need to check with a Florida attorney to discuss the pros and cons. You want to find an attorney who is well-versed in Guardianship/Conservatorship matters, rather than a general practice attorney. Your local State Bar Association could provide you with a referral.
This might provide the most protection for him (and probably you) in the event of a mismanagement of funds, etc. Since he doesn't appear to be handicapped at first glance, he needs some protection.
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2 ReactionsHi Teresa. One would think since he went through a medical professional through the government, protection would be provided. The government did not offer any protection for him although his dad helped him through this difficult time. The government did help to find housing and a part-time job but that did not last long. I understand protection against financial mismanagement but what happens if he takes things or destroys things? He may be protected from not being arrested but we may have to pay for damages. I am sure it won’t be nil. I wouldn’t be surprised for the responsible party to be held accountable for damages or losses suffered. Can’t excuse everything because he is autistic. If your property was damaged would it be OK for you to pay for damages? I don’t think everything would be dropped just because of autism. It is not easy. Toni
An attorney in your state can best advise you on these matters, @avmcbellar. Perhaps you can find an attorney who is willing to do a phone consult. You want as much protection for his father, and him as the state can provide.
Is the reluctance to secure advice from an attorney based on a fear of legal fees? If so, ask upfront what the fee would be for a consultation and then decide if the fee is less than what your liability might be without the advice and taking action if suggested.
Just some ideas to consider.
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1 Reaction@avmcbellar Not wanting to be financially responsible is a valid point. There are multiple levels/types of guardianship. I believe that you could find an option that would protect both your son and you and your husband.
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3 ReactionsHi Teresa @hopeful33250 thank you for the advice. It is difficult for me to travel. Due to my physical disability I cannot not drive. I no longer work so I have to manage on a fixed income. My husband is disabled as well but his disability is not as limiting as mine. We get involved to help our son but he sees us as the bad guy. Although we have told him numerous times that he thinks differently and it is not his fault, I believe he feels ashamed when he does silly things. He does not realize what he does is wrong until he gets himself into trouble. If it wasn’t for his dad being so understanding he would still be in jail but yet he does not listen at all. He gets easily angered from his frustrations. His dad has provided maintenance and repairs for his car in the past to make sure it was safe for him to drive. Unbeknownst to us, he sold his car for almost nothing just to have it hauled away when the car was worth a lot more. When we found out we said nothing because we knew he was better off without the car. We could have easily gotten him more money. What can you say? He has 3 sisters who he sometimes reaches out to. They all live a distance from him in different states. They are busy trying to make it on their own. They do what they can to help him. The 2 youngest sisters were the ones who tried to get him involved with the autistic organizations in Tampa and he refused. The government has provided medical care for him which he says he goes to the annual appointments for the medical check ups. I don’t know if he will actually move to Arizona when his benefits for housing will not transfer. He says he is aware that he has to start from scratch to get housing in Arizona and that will be a difficult task for him. He probably thinks the girl he met will help him. Toni
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1 ReactionThanks Erika @erikas yes, where do you draw the line? We don’t need anyone suing us on his behalf to collect damages. We will look into it. We have enough of our own worries. Besides the kids we help our elderly parents as well. I keep track of everything for my elderly mother who is 90 years old. She depends on me because of her low vision and language barrier. Thanks for the advice. I know if I warn our son about anything he says yes and then forgets about it. I can’t always trust what he says is right when he has a difficult time reading people. Often his wishful perception is wrong. Toni
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2 Reactions@avmcbellar,
If you and your spouse are both disabled you might check with the State Bar Association in Florida for a legal aid clinic. They can probably give you some good direction. You should be able to find the number for the State Bar in Florida through the internet and call and ask about a legal aid clinic in your area. You might be able to get a phone consultation.
I hope you are able to look into it. You need protection for yourself as well as your step-son.
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2 ReactionsActually, I was diagnosed with Asperger's. I don't consider Asperger's and Autism to be connected, but that's just my own unprofessional opinion. I don't think that Asperger's can ever get better or worse. But, it has side effects, such as an inability to communicate, severe OCD, severe depression, etc., and each one of these side effects can be brought under control fairly well once you realize which psychiatric medication works best: one medication for each side effect. The problem is that then, just getting a job is not the problem: the problem is getting a job that provides health care coverage. And from my experiences, that's not going to happen. Only the best jobs provide full health care coverage, and the best jobs are ones that people with Asperger's are not likely to have (despite what the media and Hollywood want you to believe). That's because if you grew up with an inability to communicate, severe OCD, and severe depression, even if you had the money and time to find the right meds to control each one, your academic record looks like a rollercoaster, even if you graduated from a good university (I did). Anyway, I'm semi-retired now, because I had the family business to save me from "everything" basically, and if anyone else out there with Asperger's or Autism wants to start up a business, just contact me. I think we could use our disability as an asset, because Hollywood has presented Asperger's people are being geniuses (ha!), and presented people with Autism has having magical qualities.
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1 ReactionHi, what country are you in where you worked in small pathology teams, did morgue work, and were involved in pathology? It sounds like your life has been hell. In other words, Welcome To America!! 🙂
America has, in my opinion, at least 35 million homeless people, not just the 700,000 that our government claims. I have Asperger's, and I noticed that I am unable to meet another human being, for any reason, on my own. Why?
Everything. So, I noticed that if someone with my disability can meet just one person, that one person can
open up the world for someone who has disabilities, such as myself. If you have the money to get out of where you're living now, and you can rent a room in a house that has at least 1 other person living in it full-time, you'll
be amazed how, even though some people are really hard to get along with, they can still let you in to their
world, and "give you a life." It happened that way for me. 🙂
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1 Reaction@sofaramnotdead You pose an interesting concept of work and being on the autism spectrum! I, too, was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, as an adult, after many unpleasant employment experiences. Plus life-in-general difficulties. Once I had a diagnosis, it was easy to see how that different-ability [rather than calling it a disability] had framed my life and choices I made. As a result of that, my life has been enriched greatly and I understand so much more about myself.
It is not an inability to communicate, but a different style of communicating that most of the world isn't comfortable with, from my standpoint. For example, I do not sugar-coat things, and speak truthfully. If those words and thoughts get through the censor in my brain, and I realize they may be seen as hurtful to the listener, often that thought is not voiced. In silence there is a lot to hear, also!
Almost my entire work life, I had good jobs that supplied health coverage and benefits. I believe there exists numerous opportunities for those of us who see the world differently. We may have issues "fitting in", but it seems there is more acceptance these days. Everybody has a gift to give to themselves and others. What is yours?
Ginger
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