Don't Want To Be a Complainer

Thanks Be well

I live in a world where worth is based on possessions, etc. Love seems to not be enough. It is what it is. Grab on to those special times and try to smother the sad times with happiness.

@lioness, I also use a walker following a fall and fractured leg and I have been in therapy since. And my back bothers me also. BUt my therapist had to remind me to stand up straight and when I do, my back pain is better and If I start walking and immediately stand straight, most of the time, I don't get any back pain! gailfaith

I am so sorry you are suffering. I am a retired RN. I have been in fear that people who really need opiates for pain control won't be able to get them because of the opiate crisis. The doctors are running scared now! Have you tried going to pain management? You may want to think about medical marijuana and see if that might work for you. Tramadol does not work very well for severe pain. I agree with water therapy to obtain some relief

I have been on the neuropathy pain train for the last 7 years (ideopathic) and have tried everything the doctors have recommended and every miracle cure located through research to no avail. I try not to complain but find that if you don't some, everyone around you forgets you have these issues and then is so surprised when you can't do some activity or function because of the pain. I get the old oh, I didn't know you were still having those problems many time from people that you have explained to many times that no, we have found no cure and pain meds don't work. If you are not an advocate for yourself, the medical community and your friends and family move on as if there is nothing there. I can't explain that my pain in my feet IS NOT the same as your sore feet from a long day at work. Have to make a little noise or be forgotten!

If you are too staunch and stoic for too long, you're probably going to crack down the line somewhere! I have periodic meltdowns and then everyone takes notice. Wisah there was a more adult way of dealing with it.

Neuropathy can torture your feet or any other part of your body where located. I only have a mild form, but still experience the burning and needle like shooting pains. You're right, if we keep quiet, others forget we have a problem. I definitely am not a martyr :).

Hello, I have been thinking of you and wanted to send something..... Many things in your story have reminded me of things in my story.

I'm pretty new to the site, have only responded to one other story, am not sure what is "allowed" as far as suggestions, fear saying something that will cause more anxiety to you, or someone else, ( can you tell depression and anxiety are big for me ?! )

I'm a ''senior'' with lots of life experiences.... Lots of "losses," which may be part of living this long...but pain is no fun in whatever form it comes.....physical, mental, spiritual.

When you wrote about loosing "the peace that passes understanding " my heart ached. I have days of severe depression when I can't pray. Luckily the "good" days come again, and I can feel my spiritual life returning. To have to live without the help of a faith, that has sustained me through so much, would be so very hard. I would like to encourage you to seek out help in this area of your life.

The different realms of life, and our taking care of the different areas, can seem overwhelming at times. But, the physical, mental, spiritual, all need attention. Sometimes just a tiny step is better than no step. Right now I am completing week 11 of a commitment to walking. It was recommended to combat the depression that I deal with. Some days I don't want to make the effort. I push myself and am glad that I have.

I have been praying for you, and will continue. Knowing people pray for me is a comfort, especially on the days when I can't pray.

I hope that you have had something to smile about on this 4th. of July......It was a "good" day for me AND I got to write to you, something I've thought a lot about doing, and pray is of some comfort to you.

Take care ~

Good points. Depression and sadness is so common. Some days are good, some awful. Maybe its part of living long. But we must NOT give up. I just 'adopted ' a soldier send letters and supplies toothpaste, shampoo, soap, etc. Also joined a widow/ widowers club... who said life was supposed to be EZ ? I think its meant to challenge us.... Be well

Hi my username is Ursweetpam. I can relate so much to what you are saying totally! My mother suffered for the last decade or so of her life with severe rheumatoid arthritis and back pain issues. She worked hard most of her life and even after she started having problems but it seemed that when we spoke, it was almost always about the pain. I used to get so upset sometimes because it became an all the time thing towards the end of her life. I just didn't have the experience yet to know what it mist have been like for her every day to wake up and feel that way for years. I used to believe she was a " complainer" Honestly, I don't think that she was. No other person can really judge how another feels. Even for the same kind of pain, it can be different. That us what makes us unique. We need to be more understanding when someone is hurting. I found out the hard way that she was probably suffering a great deal. I had a mucrodiscectomy/ laminectomy is 2015. I woke up to excruciating ,crushing pain in my back, left hip and my entire left leg. The surgeon said my back surgery was a fail because I had bone death to my vertibrate caused by undiagnosed severe osteoporosis and I have arachnoiditis that glued my nerve roots together and caused them to misfire. I never knew pain like that even existed! The surgeon also cut into my dura 3 times so I had to lay flat on my back for 24 hours and required 4 large blood patches. I couldn't walk far at all for 2 years because it turned out that my left hip and left pelvis was off center and out of the socket from the surgery to my back. I found i was always in pain and i talked about it a lot. My kids don't understand. They say that it's all I talk about and now I understand just what my mother was going through. I think that the pain Drs see so many people everyday and we all say we are in pain. They have become used to hearing it....so much so that they have lost empathy to our plight. I worry too if they think I am always complaining and if they think I am just seeking drugs (my pcp flagged me for that until she got the MRI tests back) You have to keep reminding yourself that you are just as impostant as everyone else. You know it's real and how bad it is for you...not everyone else. Maybe you do have a low tolerance for pain. So what! No one else lives inside you and you can't show anyone how you feel so let them judge and think what they want. Be honest and never stop looking for something that works for you. Until they are where you are, they can't possibly know what it's like. Hope this helps.