Don't Want To Be a Complainer

That is true I have a pal who lost her legs , in a nursing home Just lying there Hell on earth

@dianrib yes just look at people in nursing homes,hospitals so many tragic stories I've seen in my career in nursing.

Hi, I am sorry about the challenges you have in your daily life. From what I understand you were a healthy person with no pain symptoms up to a certain time in your life. Changing from a comfortable painless life to a life with constant Chronic pains is definitely not easy, and can challenge even the strongest among us. I was reading some of the suggestions from other people here, and I liked the idea of swimming or just moving in a Pool, many community centers offer reasonable aquatic therapy group sessions. I think its important to realize that unfortunately, we as human being in challenging situations, have no other choice than to "Adapt", and to try to adapt with minimal or if possible no pain medication. We are all well aware where the unintentional abuse of these drugs can take people, and no one wants to move from a difficult chronic situation, to one much worse. I know its not easy, but you cannot imagine how adaptable human beings are in any situation. When I had difficult challenges, including severe pain after multiple surgeries, and during and post military service, I decided that I am going to work on my tolerance by myself, mostly by getting used to the pain and discomfort, and I stopped comparing with periods of no paining my past....Pain changed with time in my mind to discomfort, and I started thinking of it as something that is part of my life, and that is when I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Wish you all the best in life, and may you find your path to relative comfort !

Jack Not all are as strong as you ..Congrats to you . Maybe I am weak but as much as i have tried depression lingers, Lost my husband, daughter had a stroke, grand kid has major problems , son broke his back. I take one day at a time and recall sweet memories that i am so grateful for. I also donate, & have volunteered . My way of adapting is to just live with my 'New self' I joined a club, go out, see friends. Each AM I wake feeling lost ,empty & scared. My husband & I were soul mates and very dedicated... For that we were blessed

@dianrib I identify with what you say. We can't all be strong. We can just try to adapt to the new normal and try every strategy in the book to deal with the mental and physical pain. Being social, volunteering, writing, doing something creative ... all these things help. After four years of living alone I have just stopped waking up saying to myself "I'm so alone".

@alpaca so true wake up greet the new day plan what can I do today

It sounds to me, anyway, that you do not have to worry about going to 'hell', you are living in it right now. If you do not have a notebook may I suggest that you get one as soon as you can. Keep it with you and begin writing every time you have pain, where it is, how long did it last, how would you rate it on the 0-10 scale, and anything else you remember that happened just before you felt the pain. The more you can document your pain, frustration, anger and ..... you will have something to show your doctor. If your insurance says that the doctor you are seeing is the only one you can see, I wish I could tell you what to do. If you feel you need another "Gate Keeper" ask someone you know that has a doctor they like and is willing to see new patients, then you may want to make an appointment with that doctor. Take your notebook with all your notes in it to let this doctor have an idea of the 'hell' you are going through. You, and only you, are your own best advocate. You may have to complain, not too your family or friends, but to your doctor(s). Unfortunately we have doctors who would rather hand out pills than spent time with you to find out what is really going on. It takes less time, and they are so overbooked they do not want to spend the 10 minutes to find out what is going on with you.

It also sounds as if your family has, or still is, going through their own 'hell'. Prayer can help, but we all have to make our own mistakes. It is what we do once we made our own mistakes that can determine the type of person we will become one day. We always think that it is the mothers job to fix everything. I hate to tell you, until you are fixed yourself you are unable to fix anyone else. Your job right now is to get 'you fixed'. If you can listen to some soothing, quiet, gentle music do it. I have some on now, because I understand too well, what you could be experiencing, and if I am unable to quiet my inner self I cannot write anything that will help you quiet your inner self. I hope I have been able to give you some needed help and reassurance that you will be okay. Good luck.

mlmcg

I am not what you might call genetically born strong, but I learn that if I have to survive the cards I was dealt. I needed to find the strength to deal with our son's 7 open heart surgery from congenital Heart defect, to deal with 3 strokes he had 2 of them during long procedures, deal with his neurological challenges up to this days that he lives with us at age 42. But I learned that I can only do the best I can, I cannot change realities that are not in my control, and therefore most important not to see myself as a victim,. I can feel what you say about going through some difficult time, specially that your beloved husband passed away, but you are an individual by yourself, if your husband can see you in your despair, I am sure he would want you to go on with your life, find happiness in what you have, and dont look constantly at how you wish your life was or could have been. Broken back of your son, or issues with your grandchildren, or even your daughter's stroke, all those are emotionally challenging, but not in your control, and you are not emotionally responsible for everything around you. At this stage of life you are responsible for your wellbeing, and the younger member of your Family should worry for your wellbeing. Using big words like Depression are not useful, unless you were diagnosed by a psychiatrist, and even then things can be kept in control with the right therapy and or medication. When you wake up tomorrow morning, take a deep breath, and think positively about what you can do about having a good day tomorrow, despite your "worries". Think about planning something to look forward to for next week, and for next month, forget the bad mood that you associate with depression, make friends, go on a cruise, fill your life with enough positive, so that the scale of the balance of your life will lift the positive side, to at least equal and with time to surpass the temporarily negative side of your life balance.

jack Yes I was diagnosed.& I do take meds . You are correct ... I tend to look back too much Because I fear whats ahead.. I was able to step up to the plate and help my daughter recover ., my son as well. I want to ' live in' the moment' Thats what I strive for .I just had a great week in May with my new great grand baby & son in San Diego . They are my blessing Thanks

Thanks also to Maureen &lioness