Adults On The Autism Spectrum
Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autism (ASD) Support Group.
Love you, too, @mamacita !
cools bannanas
Mamacita I just bought a book dodging energy vampires and the first bit of the book ID me as an empathy and an old soul em path whom over gives and which has set me up to ripped off by energy vampires and Narcissists .this book dodging energy vampires by Christiane Northrup M.D oby gyn AMERICAN .The other clues is that the reason narcissists and energy vampires lodge on and love autistic and em paths is the old wounds and deep wounds from childhood which shape our lives .they then influence how we react and how deeply we believe in our abilities.these influence's that has made us as auties is shame and guilt and we will be shamed by someone with an agenda of manipulating or controlling us even i autistic groups .these acts aren't meant for our well being forcing us to supposedly fit in to their agenda or mold of expectations..the truly damaging shame to us as children as an autistic comes from people's whom are meant tp to protect us
the 3 archetypal wounds are shame abandonment and betrayal our tribe is family,autie groups religion or professional.or any group one relies on for support and identity .as children even as auties we begin to self doubt and loose trust in ourselves .these wounds form our belief system by which we operate these are the ones below our radar subconsciously and come from our parents and siblings and grandparents and also genetically imprinted .when as auties or empath when we badly self doubt and dont trust we over give and need to prove our worth and need to belong or wanted . comes from no family will help us except ourselves or we give up .we then over give and become acts to fit in or serve others or shut down and become door mats and we hide ourselves and what we believe.but we have to learn and instil resilience into children to use these to give us the stamina and stubbornness to be in my case a senior hospital scientist and to work bloody hard and focus .
autistic are empaths but it also applies to autistic the wounds from our childhood and explains why girls arent diagnosed or misdiagnosed as autistic cause they hide their autism.
@sirgalahad,, many people are simply not aware of empaths. They think it is some relic from the old Star Trek series. The actress who played Counselor Troy had the role of an empath.
I have never played a role on Star Trek, but I share many of the traits of an empath. My subconscious always knows when someone I am close to is about to die. When I am in a crowd of people, it takes me a day or so to recover from all the emotions that I pick up on.
The gifts along this line vary somewhat from person to person. But we can usually spot a fake when we see one. Thank you for sharing!
@johnbishop I finally had a chance to view this presentation. Thank you so much. I met Temple Grand in almost 20 years ago. There was a lot of truth shown here. We cannot allow a diagnosis of being on the spectrum to be a reason for not living to our potential, or limiting someone.
Ginger
@mamacita @parus @sirgalahad @johnbishop and all - I have been surrounded by your positive thoughts of comfort. As you can imagine, the last few days the media has covered all different aspects of the tragedies in this area. I have sought out my music or public television to steer around all of this because it is just too overwhelming. Yes there is the sorrow for what people have lost, but my emotions take on and absorb too much. To be in the area with smoke in the air, similar to what I went through December 2017, seemed to trigger a PTSD event in me. So being gentle on myself became quite a priority. On Friday I had to return back to the area I was in last December, and it was terrifying to me. The services for my friend who was killed will be on Thursday; not sure I can handle it. I'll wait till then till to decide. As someone on the Spectrum, and as so many of you have experienced, we feel deeply. Today is a new day, a cool day in temperature right now, and we pray the winds will stay away to minimize additional damage of fire. The resilience that people can have will certainly be tested.
Ginger
So glad to hear that you are being gentle on yourself just now, @gingerw. Keep that up and continue to do what pleases you and brings you comfort!
@gingerw, thank you for your response. I know that many people are praying, thinking about, and sending all the good energy they can to your area. Prayers have been made in churches, synagogues, homes, and hearts everywhere. From people of all faiths and paths. People of good will want you all to know that we stand with you and are ready to do what we can to help.
Nothing can ever replace what has been lost. People are not replaceable. Memories fade in time. Some never do. I feel too deeply. I understand the need to watch other things than the news. For us, who are on the Spectrum, there must be a limit to what we can take in. We have to have our time and space to reconnect. I think everyone
Is that way to a certain extent. Neurotypical or Autistic. There are days I would love to keep CNN on all day long. But I don't even have regular cable. Just an antenna and Netflix.
Please be kind to yourself, as you are to others. If you feel able to attend the funeral on Thursday, just know that our hearts are there right beside you. We may be cyberfriends, but we do exist in real life. I appreciated so much when you reached out to me. I will always be thankful for your healing friendship.
Talking with you again, very soon,
Mamacita
@gingerw, when I was working, Temple Grand in came to Birmingham, Alabama to speak at a conference. Some of my coworkers were able to attend that conference, and returned to school with lively, humerous, heartwarming tales of how human and approachable she is.
I love that about the rich and famous. There are those who are well known in this world for the amazing things they have done in the past. Or are doing in the present. I have had the pleasure of knowing only a very small handful of these people personally.
Unfortunately, for the most part, we lost touch through the years as we got caught up with work, ailing parents, and raising children. And for my part, not realizing the source of most of my angst was not knowing I was Autistic.
I spent many years wondering why I could not keep the connections I had made in my life. I blamed myself, for the most part. But others got their share of the blame, too. I'm not gonna lie.
Where was I going with this? Oh, yes....the mentors and others in our lives, the ones who left, and the ones who remain. Whether they are famous, or not, they will most likely all have a sweet place in our hearts. Sometimes we can send little notes, letters, cards, messages, to let them know we are still here. But you know what this old gal has learned? The phone rings both ways.
Sometimes our mentors reveal all too clearly that they have feet of clay. They fall off the pedestal we put them on, and behave like the complicated, often foolish humans that populate much of our world.
When that happens, and it will, we can do one of two things as I look at it just now. We can rant and rave, curse them out, ruin their name with all kinds of slander.
Or we can extend to them grace. I prefer the path of grace. Oh, and PS....I am not talking about Mayo Mentors! Let me share that disclaimer, lest there be any doubt! Ha!
Here's to you the hope of a lovely day, my dears, no matter what your circumstances. We are indeed, better together. I look forward to hearing from all of you soon.