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Adults On The Autism Spectrum
Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!
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Teresa, it will be awesome! I have been following Samantha Craft for years now. She has so many things going on she must have trained as a juggler!
I will also be sharing from other friends and mentors in the worldwide Autism Community. Permission. Granted first of course. I am so excited! Love and light, my friend.
Mamacita
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6 ReactionsHello there, @stlouisgmajenn ! I have been wondering if I should be wearing some sort of headgear. Noise reducing headphones. I have such sensitive hearing, such sensitive skin, I would think the headphones would make a huge difference. Have you ever tried them? If you or anyone else have tried them, and they worked, I would love to hear about your experience.
I love being alone in my quiet. Then I need my people. Them I need my quiet. And on and on it goes.
It could be worse, I suppose! Ta for now,
MamacitaJane
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3 Reactions@mamacita
Wise words, especially the cookies and milk remedy!
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3 ReactionsDear @mjsmimi, forgive me. I have had surgery and it has taken me quite some time to get to the point I can really spend the time I need to on here.
Thank you so much for sharing your situation. At the very least it sounds to me like your partner could really benefit from some counselling. However. he may be opposed to attending such meetings if he believes you think he is the one at fault
It is terribly hard to live in a situation when the one you love makes you afraid for your very existance. I fear that your safety is at great risk. You haven't intimated that he is prone to violence. That is good. Unfortunately, when someone is so jealous and protective, and looking around every corner to catch you in a cheating situation......well, you know the rest.
I am sorry, but I fear your safety is at great risk. Common practice in these situations is to have a bag packed with only essentials, act normally, but have a plan of escape. When he is at work, perhaps. Or out with friends.
I cannot tell you what to do, but I can only share with you my legitimate concerns for your life. You may have real, true feelings for him. But to protect your life, you may have to love him from a distance.
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you as you seek clarity and wisdom for your situation. And for healing for him, that he would reach out for the help he meeds.
Godspeed, my friend
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5 ReactionsNo,dear heart, you are not being selfish at all. You need to concentrate on self care right now. I sense a bit of mistrust in yourself, when it is your bf who should be suspect.
Again, I am not trying to tell you what to do, or advise you in your future actions. My training in Pastoral Counseling does not extend to the type of help your bf needs. Many different things could cause his symptoms, which do appear to be rather eratic.
Please seek counsel of a trusted friend or family member. Someone you can trust. Have a plan for daily self care. You deserve to have peace and a safe life. No one has to tolerate disrespect or sbuse. Be safe, my friend. Please keep me posted.
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4 Reactions@mjsmimi Should you ever feel threatened or unsafe, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233. You may wish to visit their website now to get familiar with the services they offer http://www.thehotline.org/ On the website you can use the online chat and get help without saying a word.
By contacting the Hotline, you can work with professionals to find safety and a solution that is right for you.
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6 Reactions@mjsmimi
I've read all your posts on this thread, and there are three areas to address.
1. Yes, withdrawal from Effexor can play tricks on your mind and cause all kinds of reactions. Please look at the thread that has "Tips on withdrawing from Effexor." The posts there will give you an idea of what you can expect during withdrawal. Also, you may want to slow your withdrawal during this time. Talk with your doctor about it.
2. Even though you're withdrawing from Effexor, you're not crazy. What you are perceiving in your boyfriend is real and very concerning. I agree with Mamacita that you are in a potentially dangerous situation right now. Stop concerning yourself with how your BF is going to make it without you. Since he called you when he didn't have a job, that may be one of the ways he survives. He will quickly find another woman who "he can save" after you split with him I suspect. He doesn't sound stable, so I think you need to stop second guessing yourself, and ask him to leave.
You may want to see a lawyer before you tell him to move out. You may also want to talk with the police and tell them that you are going to ask him to leave, and let them know the kinds of things he has talked about with you. The drawing of the bombshelter with a tripwire is very concerning to me. You should ask about getting a restraining order against him so you know what you need to do just in case. Take care of your safety before you make any moves to ask him to leave.
3. I hope you will take care of yourself. Many/most of us women have been brainwashed since childhood to accept that men are right, and we are wrong and therefore are responsible for mens' happiness or unhappiness. None of those things are true. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness after the age of 21. When we're children we are dependent on others in our lives for nearly everything. We learn who we can or cannot trust, etc. When we become adults we learn how to be independent, and eventually recognize that interdependence is a positive way to live for most people. You and your BF don't seem to be independent or interdependent adults since he wants to dominate you and is busy convincing you that you can't trust yourself aND heven knows best. He knows what's best for Him, not you.
You Can and Must trust yourself, especially now. Take action to regain your life and self trust, and do it in a way that will cause him the least discomfort possible without sacrificing your own dignity, self respect, and safety. Talk to the professionals I have suggested above before taking action. Also, talk with your therapist about what you're experiencing. You may want some counseling to help clear your mind, and figure out why you thought you needed a person like him in your life. In the meantime, please take care of yourself. I'm sorry you have to go through what you're experiencing right now. I've been in a similar situation a couple of times in my life, and they were very disturbing. I learned some very important things about myself and the world as a result. I wish you the best in resolving this situation. Please keep me informed about how you are doing.
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5 Reactions@mjsmimi Yes, everything @gailb said. In addition, you need to have the following information written down somewhere safe, in case there is a sudden problem. A trusted person [trusted relative, coworker, friend, pastor, you get my drfift] who you can call in an emergency, not only law enforcement. Have their contact information written down. Have a safe place to escape to, if need be. If he has a vehicle, write down the make/model/year/color/license plate number including what state. A physical description of him; height/approx.weight/hair color/eyecolor/ scars/ marks/tattoos. Birth date. Places he frequents. Same information about his daughter. Who his friends are and where they live if you know. I am not trying to scare you. I tell you this from both a domestic violence survivor, and law enforcement standpoint. In the midst of high emotion you need to be able to give clear and accurate information to an agency who needs it, when they need it. Answering, "I cannot remember" delays things.
When you commented on the fact that you had cheated in a prior relationship, with him, and he looked you up 15 years later, he knew that you were already vulnerable. That he held the cards. And he has capitalized on that. Him knowing that you had cheated gives him the mindset that if you cheated with him, who is to say you won't cheat on him? That is his thinking.
Please read our words to you, and think of your safety first.
Ginger
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4 Reactions@mamacita My stepson's son is on the autism spectrum. Sometimes when they go out, the youngster wears a set of headphones designed to minimize the stimulation of too much going on around him. As his mom is a special education teacher, she is well versed in different approaches to handling auties [not aunties like I misspelled before!]. It seems to help him, and look pretty cool on him, very styling ;))
Ginger
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3 ReactionsThanks,gingerw! I am still familiar with the people I worked with for so long. But I cringe when I think of asking them for advice on the right headphones.
Some of my own family don't respect you when you tell them you are on the Spectrum. So, yo me, it's worse, even, to share my heart and have them say things like "You're too sociable to be on the Spectrum!"
Or, even worse, "But you make eye contact so well!" Un huh. Yeah. And how long do you think it took me to learn how to fake that eye contact?
I don't even pretend to know everything there is to know about the Spectrum. But some things educated people say to me are bordering on offensive.
At any rate, thank you so much for responding. It's great to hear from you so frequently! Adios, Mamacita
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2 Reactions