1. < Autism (ASD)

Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Alumna Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autism (ASD) Support Group.

Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Oct 11, 2018
In reply to @gailb "@mamacita My husband isn't on the spectrum, but he is introverted and is losing his hearing...." + (show)
@gailb

@mamacita

My husband isn't on the spectrum, but he is introverted and is losing his hearing. I am also much more sensitive to noise as I age. I'm an extrovert, but crowds bother me now primarily due to the noise. Ronnie purchased Bose Noise-Cancelling Earphones (approx $250) because he loves music and uses them a lot for that. He recently decided to use them in the theater when the sound is too loud. Now he uses them anytime the noise is too much. They filter out background/ambient noise, but allow voices to be heard. He's going to purchase Bose Hearing Aids soon ($500-600) since they fit in the ear, have no cords, and will help him hear better. They are rechargeable, so there are no batteries too replace. You may want to look at those to see if they are helpful for you. They are the direction hearing aids are headed now and are far less expensive than the old hearing aids $3000-6000).

I also want to thank you for your caring communicationso to those in need. I always feel comforted and loved when I read your posts. I also learn from your experiences. Thank you Mamacita from deep in my heart.

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All my love always. God is the source of my love. He is not the angry old white man lurking around corners, waiting for me to make a mistake. Far from it. His arms are stretched wide open. He is more than we can imagine. Always keep hope alive. Life is a gift.

Adios, my friend,
Mamacita (Jane)

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Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Oct 11, 2018
In reply to @mjsmimi "@@@Oh Dear, Sometimes there is no explanation for things... BF mom just had a stroke. He..." + (show)
@mjsmimi

@@@Oh Dear, Sometimes there is no explanation for things... BF mom just had a stroke. He is on his way 1.5 hrs away. I am here with his daughter. I am hoping this ends better than I expect She is the only semi sane relative he has. I am going to explain to her not in so many words I will be leaving this time for sure. She can visit, she is going to want to see our puppy. She will be coming with me. Dad and her can stay in the house until they find somewhere to live. This is extremely complicated. We work together also. I can't even begin to figure out all of this. Or even think about it. He calls me a"runner". Well buddy I have good reason to run and should have the first time I threatened to do so.
Only then will I come back and proceed to sell this place and get the heck away from this area entirely.
I will be here with his daughter until he returns. Could be several hours. I am lining up a rental car to pick me up in the morning. He has my truck, he can keep until I am away and safe. I am watching my back..

This seems really insignificant incident this afternoon while picking up his daughter but maybe not?? I saw a blue jay bullying a circle of little birds, I made the comment about the blue jay being a bully. BF proceeds to ask "Are you the little birds or the bully?" "You don't even know do you" Then we almost ran in the back of someone. The guy is pissed at BF and staring. All BF can do is shout "I am a good person you F with me I'm coming after you. You will pay" Why am I only now reading and hearing through all these phrases now? He has been like this.... It's like my eyes just opened a few days ago.
Yes, my husband may be here steering me in the right direction... I know he loved me. As I did him, He was a good man.,He always called me naive and would say "You can't help everybody, you cant save the world." I get the message now?? Really? Talk about a delayed reaction. Geez, I have to smile or lose it.....God Love Him!

I called my doctor to lengthen the taper. I have been taking half of the 25 mg. every other day. So I am 25mg 12.5mg then 25mg...... so on. .I need to keep this straight head right now. I also take hemp oil, the real is not legal here. It seems to be helping along with the vitamins. I may need something more during all this. Hopefully not. I will keep posted. Trying to stay as strong and level headed as I can.

Thank You, Thank You

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You owe him nothing. You owe yourself and that child peace of mind and safety. Now. Do not look at or even be in the same room with this person ever again. He is seriously mentally ill and is a danger to himself and others. He needs help but you are not the one to help him. He wishes harm to you and only the good Lord knows how many others. Not trying to scarw you but he means harm. Period.

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1 reply
Parus | @parus | Oct 12, 2018

I am terribly confused with all of the drama and preaching in some of the comments. When in a situation such as being described turns into high drama in the comments I shudder to think what the situation is or may become. Remaining calm in these type of situations is imperative. I have only been reading the comments some of which are scaring me as to resolving things
No longer following this thread and leave with a heavy heart for those dealing with this in the real world.
Keeping a level head is the important thing.
There is a child trapped in this adult world and it makes me very sad. Abuse hurts no matter what age.

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2 replies
Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Oct 12, 2018

Take care, love. To thine own self be true.

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1 reply
stlouisgmajenn | @stlouisgmajenn | Oct 12, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "Take care, love. To thine own self be true." + (show)
@mamacita

Take care, love. To thine own self be true.

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To thine own self be true. That means so much more to me than "I love you".

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Oct 12, 2018
In reply to @parus "I am terribly confused with all of the drama and preaching in some of the comments...." + (show)
@parus

I am terribly confused with all of the drama and preaching in some of the comments. When in a situation such as being described turns into high drama in the comments I shudder to think what the situation is or may become. Remaining calm in these type of situations is imperative. I have only been reading the comments some of which are scaring me as to resolving things
No longer following this thread and leave with a heavy heart for those dealing with this in the real world.
Keeping a level head is the important thing.
There is a child trapped in this adult world and it makes me very sad. Abuse hurts no matter what age.

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@parus We each must do what is most comfortable for us as an individual. As an autie, I feel on a deep level, and often insert myself into a situation that I am not part of, from a distance. It is like donning the cloak of the players in that I am myself but inside I am reacting to what is going on. Meanwhile on the outside it all appears "normal". I believe that the reactions you have seen from posts on here are many visceral responses to attacks we have gone through ourselves. We are trying to spare someone else from experiencing the same heartache. Hope this makes some sense.
Have a peace-filled day,
Ginger

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2 replies
stlouisgmajenn | @stlouisgmajenn | Oct 12, 2018
In reply to @gingerw "@parus We each must do what is most comfortable for us as an individual. As an..." + (show)
@gingerw

@parus We each must do what is most comfortable for us as an individual. As an autie, I feel on a deep level, and often insert myself into a situation that I am not part of, from a distance. It is like donning the cloak of the players in that I am myself but inside I am reacting to what is going on. Meanwhile on the outside it all appears "normal". I believe that the reactions you have seen from posts on here are many visceral responses to attacks we have gone through ourselves. We are trying to spare someone else from experiencing the same heartache. Hope this makes some sense.
Have a peace-filled day,
Ginger

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I just realized that most of what I do is to protect others.""To spare someone else from experiencing the same heartache". The same brokenness. As a St Louis Missouri City health inspector I protected others. Then I got caught got in a gang thing. They didn't kill me. Eventually let me go.

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1 reply
Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Oct 12, 2018
In reply to @stlouisgmajenn "I just realized that most of what I do is to protect others.""To spare someone else..." + (show)
@stlouisgmajenn

I just realized that most of what I do is to protect others.""To spare someone else from experiencing the same heartache". The same brokenness. As a St Louis Missouri City health inspector I protected others. Then I got caught got in a gang thing. They didn't kill me. Eventually let me go.

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I was a Social Worker. A mandated reporter of abuse. I was an Educator. Again, a mandated reporter of abuse. I am a Certified Pastoral Counselor. I am required to inform others if there is significant danger in their lives. If I had private messaged the individual that this "drama" complaint is about, it could have easily been overlooked.

I have been taught in every area of my training, all my life, to weigh the consequences of my decisions. If it is a life or death situation, it is better to err on the side of saving lives

By no means do I wish to cause any drama. My motivation was not to cause or add to any drama But to protect.

Trigger warnings. The very mention of "Trigger Warnings" strikes at the heart of someone who struggles with pain, uncertainty, and all too real drama for rhemselves.
So, prefacing, my remarks with a Trigger Warning is not a solution for me, either.

The only solution I can find right now is to just stop. Stop and reflect. Think it through, and be mindful. I was trained years ago as a First Responder, too, so I'm not quite sure how all that will work.

Give me awhile. There's an answer to the problem in there. Somewhere. Meanwhile, let's see what we can do today with a propped up post surgery foot!

Adios,amigos,
Mamacita (Jane)

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Oct 12, 2018
In reply to @gingerw "@parus We each must do what is most comfortable for us as an individual. As an..." + (show)
@gingerw

@parus We each must do what is most comfortable for us as an individual. As an autie, I feel on a deep level, and often insert myself into a situation that I am not part of, from a distance. It is like donning the cloak of the players in that I am myself but inside I am reacting to what is going on. Meanwhile on the outside it all appears "normal". I believe that the reactions you have seen from posts on here are many visceral responses to attacks we have gone through ourselves. We are trying to spare someone else from experiencing the same heartache. Hope this makes some sense.
Have a peace-filled day,
Ginger

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So true, @gingerw

I often feel the same fear of others when I hear such stories. It can be overwhelming at times and I often have to take a back seat and let others join in the conversation and become helpers and encouragers. You make some very good points and I appreciate it!

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