Guilt Towards Family Due To Mental Illness

Yea, I’m pretty good at “wearing the masks” but being a mom to 3 boys (my husband included as one, a 5yr old, & a 11yr old) with no support or help from family I find I get overwhelmed easily and that’s hard to hide. I do have a therapist and everyone hear on this chat but other than that I have no one to turn to. I try to journal but that even seems overwhelming (& I love to write!).

@tonbop - I'm well acquainted with the feeling of being overwhelmed. It keeps me in the recliner often. I was thinking yesterday about the need to talk with someone, and became more depressed, knowing that I have no one other than the therapist to talk to. I do feel some guilt because I don't tell my wife how I feel emotionally or physically, because it didn't used to be this way. I just can't handle having my words minimized or dismissed or used against me in a judgmental way. And I feel guilty for talking negatively to my therapist about my wife.

For me, November is a time to be thankful for the people in my life, and I have a list of them in my mind to whom I'm going to write thank you notes. I'll thank my therapist for the huge gift he's given me - the gift of listening. There should be a therapist appreciation month.

Like you, being able to express my thoughts to this group is a good part of maintaining my sanity. I have the title of volunteer mentor, but sometimes I step out of that role and become simply a member of the group. That's important to me, and I'm thankful that the leaders of Connect recognize and allow me to step back and receive from the group.

I appreciate the input of each person here.

Jim

Thank you for the reply and friendly reminder of gratitude

One of my rather "out in left field" observations about guilt. When I start feeling guilt it is likely time to walk a way. Guilt is punishment.

Hmmm, something to give thought to. Thanks!

GOD BLESS JIM. WERE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT. GET WELL.

Is this the boat traveling down the river Styx that circles Hades with Cerebus snarling, snapping and drooling trying to snatch one from the boat with the hooded figure at the helm? If so, I would that the one at the helm would steer a farther distance from Cerebus trying to sink his teeth into another victim as he guards the gates of Hades waiting to cast another to the blazing pit.
Yes, I read too much when I was young. Required reading for some courses. It does provide a visual as to how I am feeling about the boat I am in for the time being.
I will get through this...currently I see depression as Cerebus. I will not add a drawing even though it has been said that a picture is worth______________.
I will adhere to words. Have I hit 1,000 yet?
Yes, in the same boat. I ought to have remained at the airport.

@tonbop I can imagine how you feel. I feel guilt because of my depression, I see how it affects my wife and my son. My doctors keeps telling me that it is not my fault I'm like this and in my mind I know it's like that. But when I see my wife worrying about me, or feeling frustrated because she can't help me, I feel guilt. We should remember that none of us didn't choose to be ill. It is like we have broken arm; we need to accept that we have currently some limitations, we will not go to play basketball then. And with mental illness we have again different kind of limitations. It is important to know and to feel that it is not our fault. But it is very easy to say it, much harder to believe it. I feel constantly guilty that I'm like this, I am just an additional burden to my wife.

Hello @theotherone. As I see this is your first post at Mayo Connect, I would like to welcome you! We are glad that you have joined our online patient support group.

We appreciate your post regarding some of the difficulties of living with long-term depression and the guilty feelings that can ensue. I especially like your comparison to a broken arm. Sometimes we have to set aside our expectations and wait for recovery. We have had many others speak of this as well. As you are new to Mayo Connect, I would like to introduce you to some of our other members, Jim @jimhd a volunteer mentor, Lisa @lisalucier a Mayo Connect Moderator, @amberpep and @parus.

We hope to get to know you better. If you are comfortable doing so, please share with us a little more of your history of depression.
We hope that we can encourage and support you as you post.

Teresa

When guilt attacks I try to tell myself that the guilt is the depression masquerading itself as guilt. Depression wears many disguises and as much as I don't like to admit thus-it is an illness. Aarrgghh, sounds so disgustingly weak and pathetic. For those of us with depression we are constantly waging war with the venom that comes from the illness. I prefer to label depression as an illness and not a disease. I am currently in one of my dark phases and for no real reason. I get angry with what I view as a weakness. The very fact that those of us that struggle with depression are still in the battle says we are stronger than we sometimes realize. I also have chronic pain (what a yuck word) and everything else has been labeled hence in my gloriously mundane chart of maladies. Yup, the sarcasm and cynicism have once again taken the leading role.
Now if that was not a lot of talking in nonsensical circles-happens. On the bright side, my ear lobes do not hurt.
@hopeful33250 My profile picture is the design for my Christmas card this year. The title is, "I'll Be Home For Christmas". Rather sums things up. Adding the image in it's entirely without the circular distortion.