Are you ever afraid of dying alone because of your mental illness?

Hello @lilgrizz I am sorry to hear of your health issues. While I am no medical professional, I agree it does seem that mental illnesses and physical illnesses sometimes go hand in hand. Then again I also know several folks who battle only one or the other.

Physical and mental illnesses can also lead to, or exacerbate isolation and feelings of isolation. In the case of my wife many people evidently just had no idea how to interact with her as her medical condition changed. So they simply ghosted on us.

All I can say about your fear is that none of us know when we will breathe our last. All we can do is keep on living as best we can and not dwell on when or where we might die.

Strength, courage, and peace!

@lilgrizz , Hi. Wow, that is a powerful admission to make. I also am in front of 2 divorces, and my health seems to be going downhill with diabetes, hypothyroidism, gastroparesis, heart problems, gee that's enough. Oh, let's add severe depression, and it appears a little PTSD to boot. Yeah, I'm afraid of being in a nursing home with no relatives coming by. I have my two kids, thank God, but I'm scared to death for them because neither one takes care of themselves. They both have diabetes, and my daughter also has hypothyroidism. You would think I'm contagious! I have to remember that having illnesses makes you prone to having depression. I finally went to see a therapist again, as it turns out it was a one time shot! I asked him should I make another appointment and he says no. WTH! I need someone to talk to. Talking to my daughter about death is freaking her out, understandably. I guess that's what I want to talk about, death. I guess everyone wonders when and how. Is this what you wanted to talk about? Let me know and I can shut my mouth. I'll go for now. You take a pretty picture. Dany

Not certain which I fear the most-dying or living alone because of mental inadequacies. I tell no one how despondency has slowly entered and is like a leach that is sucking a way at my will to even try. Paste on a smile and dare not tell another about the fears inside. Sounds like one wallowing in self-pity. I am wrought w/ physical and emotional pain. I desire to be included and, yet, can no longer find the energy.
Move on? For what?
Surely I will get through this. Currently unenthusiastic. No longer have the desire to even try to placate myself with platitudes. The depression deceptions have a hold and not even wanting to fight the darkness. It always returns.

@patshaw
I am sorry that you find yourself in such a tough place right now. I find your words, "depression deceptions," to be very descriptive. Depression really does cause deceptions, doesn't it?

Thanks for sharing this with us. We hope that this time of "deception" will lift soon.

Teresa

@parus-- so great to hear from you. Very sorry things have felt dark.

You really have a way with words and put into eloquent text what many are thinking on the inside. You are not alone--we are with you.

@IndianaScott so sorry it took me so long to reply. I appreciate your message and also hurt for the pain you must feel with your wife's sickness. Your response to not dwell on when and where hit me hard like I needed. Thank you. Self pity can be so ugly sometimes.

@danybegood1 hey sorry it took so long to reply. Some days the pain from all ailments just make it too hard to sit and think. Thank you so much for your reply . We have so much in coming. Ravaged with illness, divorced, and how people can look at our mental illness in an outstandingly horrible way. Wow I would love to get my hands around that therapist neck who treated you so coldly. My kids also freak out when I talk about death and dying alone and they get really mad at me. They talk to me like I'm not going to die so end of conversation. As I think about it though I really shouldn't put that kind of undue pressure upon my children. My parents are 75 and I take care of them and I take care of them and I tell them all the time their not dyeing. Kind of makes me a hypocrite. haha. I not know so much to think about. So much I wish I didn't think about. My bipolar mind just want listen to me. Darn it!

@parus talking about hitting the nail on the head. Are you like a therapist, doc, or even an author. Your words could move mountains. Sorry it took so long to reply, just some days pain, some day depression, and believe it or not even days of mania prevent me from getting on the computer. The things you say are like you have a psychic look into my brain. And as I just got through telling someone else before I got to your reply, self pity can be so ugly. And when certain people listen to you, you can begin to tell by the expression on their face that that is the thought going through their unsympathetic mind. Sympathy is not what I want, just understanding. I think that is 2 different ideas here. I don't know about you but I'm tired. "Move on? For What?" Sometimes I think move on to where? I've tried all directions and keep ending back up in the same spot.

@parus Thank you!

@lilgrizz Why there are places such as this with folks whom do "get it". I hear your pain and frustration. We do not choose to be the way we are at times. I am where I am physically as to where I live because it is the best I can do. So, retirement is not what I had expected. Apartment living is certainly different and horrifically loud at times. At least not a place that is crime infested and mostly a senior community. 65 hit hard. I only know my brain and how I feel...we are on a similar path. I also feel stuck and it takes every ounce of strength (paltry at best), fortitude, tenacity and just plain mule-headedness to even wash a cup. I make a short list of goals to accomplish each day-do not always achieve thus and it is okay.
I was perusing youtube and found a group called "Anthem Lights". Put their music on this morning, started singing along and was amazed that I accomplished the 3 things on my list!!! I know I struggle to keep myself motivated as no one else will do this for me...Girl, even if you only stand up you have achieved something. Give yourself kudos when you can. Okay, I am now in need of the heating pad and a cup of herbal tea.
Hugs and encouragement to be all you can be and nothing more.