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Are you ever afraid of dying alone because of your mental illness?
Mental Health | Last Active: Jan 1, 2018 | Replies (32)Comment receiving replies
@lilgrizz Why there are places such as this with folks whom do "get it". I hear your pain and frustration. We do not choose to be the way we are at times. I am where I am physically as to where I live because it is the best I can do. So, retirement is not what I had expected. Apartment living is certainly different and horrifically loud at times. At least not a place that is crime infested and mostly a senior community. 65 hit hard. I only know my brain and how I feel...we are on a similar path. I also feel stuck and it takes every ounce of strength (paltry at best), fortitude, tenacity and just plain mule-headedness to even wash a cup. I make a short list of goals to accomplish each day-do not always achieve thus and it is okay.
I was perusing youtube and found a group called "Anthem Lights". Put their music on this morning, started singing along and was amazed that I accomplished the 3 things on my list!!! I know I struggle to keep myself motivated as no one else will do this for me...Girl, even if you only stand up you have achieved something. Give yourself kudos when you can. Okay, I am now in need of the heating pad and a cup of herbal tea.
Hugs and encouragement to be all you can be and nothing more.
Replies to "@lilgrizz Why there are places such as this with folks whom do "get it". I hear..."
@parus I always look forward to your replies. It is like you can read my mind at times and your funny at times. Mule-headedness; I like that. lol. Since I became bipolar I love listening to lots of hard rock and roll when i'm manic but I haven't been that high in some time. But for the first time about three months ago I was feeling really, really manic and my 75 yr old dad was washing dishes and a good ole 70's rock song came on, can't remember which one anymore, but anyway they caught the news guy dancing and he didn't realize he was on live and it really cracked my up. He was no John Travolta. It cracked me up and my dad asked what was so funny so I went about telling and showing him. Big mistake. Since they put two rods in my back running from the top of my shoulder blades to the top of my tailbone and they don't bend or twist but in my elation I didn't think about that and went to show my dad had the nerd on tv was dancing and found out real quick that I couldn't dance like that no more which meant I couldn't do much of any kind of dancing anymore. I got scared and yanked my shirt up with my back to my dad and yell, "Daddy. is my back still straight?" Luckily it was but I pulled just about every muscle in my back. talk about crashing immediately down from mania to depression In about 1min sucked. Now that story was leading up to something and I will be darn if I forgot what it was. Freaking MS. I CAN"T remember anything anymore because of it. Oh I do remember my dad looked at me like I had 3 heads so I took a pain pill and some muscle relaxers and went back to bed. I mean if your dad can't understand you how you expect others to accept you with all your ailments how can you make friends to accept you the way you are. I have tried and it don't work. I have no friends. I mean 0. Ofcourse most of my time is spent taking care of my parents. my mom is blind and my dad can hardly walk from a botched back surgery and is in severe back pain 24/7. Oh me I've done worked myself into a tissy. Haha the dictionary says tissy isn't a word, but down south in Alabama it sure is.lol Have a good day.
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@parus
What an encouraging post! I pulled up "Anthem Lights" on Youtube and really enjoyed their music. Music is a great medicine for all that ails you! I volunteer for a group called Therapy Choirs and you don't have to have musical talent, but just want the benefits of singing. The group is mainly composed of folks with TBIs or neurological problems that affect their speech. Here are some webpages about it, http://www.therapychoirs.org/. Here is a story about one of our members that was in a local newspaper, http://www.hometownlife.com/story/opinion/columnists/2017/08/09/inspiration-look-farmington-hills-listen-singing/104370448/.
Teresa