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Dealing With Husband’s Anger

Posted by blisst @blisst, 6 days ago

I’m sure this has been asked before and I did do some searching but I just need to vent and have someone understand my sadness and dare I say it, fear,

My husband bought a wooden mask at a thrift store about 2 weeks ago (at most a month ago). He has MCI/Alz, diagnosed last April but his memory has been in decline for a few years. Well this morning he was fussing with the mask and when I asked what is wrong he told me he hates it and why do we have it on display. I said (and here is my mistake) we’ve only had it a couple of weeks and we can just put it away or donate it back to the thrift. Well, he started saying we’ve had it for years and he’s worried about my memory and I need to go to a doctor. He wouldn’t let it drop and when I agreed with him that I probably am misremembering the length of time we’ve had it. He got mad at that. Asked am I just going to give in and go with what he’s saying? So now I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t. He’s settled down a bit but I can feel his simmering anger at me. I’m hoping he forgets soon but I am so upset about how angry he got with me and how he reacted.

How do you cope?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) & Dementia Support Group.

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blisst | @blisst | 1 day ago
In reply to @minniem "I understand completely. I usually try to give him my “no answer” answer, like our politicians..." + (show)
Profile picture for minniem @minniem

I understand completely. I usually try to give him my “no answer” answer, like our politicians do. I rarely give him the correct answer.
It is hard because I made a similar mistake this morning and he got very angry, used the F word to tell me what to do, and then turned his back on me and walked away.
I had to leave the house and take a walk.
I am trying to let go and I have been praying constantly but I am struggling and I want to just give up or give in.
Just know we are on the same path and you are not alone. We all cope, struggle, try, and try again.
So my response was not to make this about me- although I had to vent- but to say I understand.

Jump to this post

@minniem Thank you for your comment. It really does help to know I’m not alone on this walk, also I too pray all of the time. I try to not worry about tomorrow and try to let yesterday go.

Please know that when I read your reply and I understood exactly what you mean, thank you for sharing your experience, it does help. You too, are not alone. 🫂

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dederickve | @dederickve | 18 hours ago
In reply to @minniem "I understand completely. I usually try to give him my “no answer” answer, like our politicians..." + (show)
Profile picture for minniem @minniem

I understand completely. I usually try to give him my “no answer” answer, like our politicians do. I rarely give him the correct answer.
It is hard because I made a similar mistake this morning and he got very angry, used the F word to tell me what to do, and then turned his back on me and walked away.
I had to leave the house and take a walk.
I am trying to let go and I have been praying constantly but I am struggling and I want to just give up or give in.
Just know we are on the same path and you are not alone. We all cope, struggle, try, and try again.
So my response was not to make this about me- although I had to vent- but to say I understand.

Jump to this post

@minniem Bless you. It can be very hard.

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jg8335jg | @jg8335jg | 10 hours ago

Does anyone sometimes feel or think that maybe you are the one with the issue. That maybe you could be making this up in your brain? And then suddenly the anger appears and you get accused of being the reason making all the items up.. Then you get back to reality that there is an issue. I typically get accused I’m making up stories and making him out to be crazy. It’s amazing all of these things take over your life.

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