How do you manage the profound loneliness of caregiving?

@rnlorena I love how you lovingly handle your dad's delusions. I had shared on another thread last year how my husband (who now is in the middle stages of AD), handled when his dad asked something very crazy. DH went to visit his dad at their home, and his dad asked "Son - is my horse out there?" Hubby didn't miss a beat. He just asked "What color is it?". His dad scratched his head and thought about it and moved on to another subject.

@rnlorena I love how you lovingly handle your dad's delusions. I had shared on another thread last year how my husband (who now is in the middle stages of AD), handled when his dad asked something very crazy. DH went to visit his dad at their home, and his dad asked "Son - is my horse out there?" Hubby didn't miss a beat. He just asked "What color is it?". His dad scratched his head and thought about it and moved on to another subject.

It’s a good question- “how do I manage the lonely moments as a caregiver…” The question has made me stop and reflect- do I manage them? Or just experience them? I definitely experience them. It’s so hard to shift from having a life partner and husband that I could talk to and who could keep up with me, share witty stories, laugh at different situations, etc. and having all of that gone and replaced with someone who has circular discussions, can’t follow more than one simple step at a time, can’t discuss options or future opportunities with for fear of sending them into a spiral.
As I think about it, this group and a virtual caregiver group I participate in monthly definitely help by creating a sense of connection. My daughter is my other go-to adult and good friend. She helps me so much. I know she has her own life to live and I try to respect that and her time. I also do my best to stay connected to my sisters and my friends through texting and occasional visits but this definitely takes more effort and can get pushed off in the demands of daily caregiving. I also try to have something more interesting to talk about than my usual day to day when I reach out to them. I don’t think anyone really wants to hear about a morning trying to convince my husband that Mister Rogers was not a Navy seal or whatever other crazy things we spent the morning trying to resolve so he would take his medication and get dressed.
I miss being able to do things as a couple with other couples and have a dinner spent laughing and in engaging conversation. Mostly, he eats in silence and it requires his full concentration to feed himself, This is very different from our dinners “before”, and difficult for others to watch as well.
I don't mind the alone time now that he is sleeping more, and in some ways that is easier than the “loneliness” of being with him and having him not really “being there”. I find myself praying more, and that definitely helps me and reminds me that I am never alone because God is with me always.

@wmc I read your response to @cyds about "Alopecia" - something I know all too well with so little hair on my crown (actually now all over) - and realize ..... courage to face my "thinning hair," coupled with the clarity to know that if I keep losing it at this rate, then it's time for go-to "alternative hair." As @georgescraftjr and I talk about, we need to do whatever we have to do to boost our "inner you" while immersed in caregiving.
Best, Karla

@kjc48 I also had thinning hair especially in front and on top. Went to a savvy endocrinologist....did lab work.....turns out l have Ovarian Hyperthecosis...a benign condition that responds to a change of the diuretic l had been on....from Maxide to Spironalactone.
My gynecologist is not inclined to do any surgery and l am fine at 81 to avoid surgery.
Meanwhile my hair stopped thinning and when it started again....my medication was increased.
Just a thought....

Some happy faces in my backyard:

Some happy faces in my backyard:

@ocdogmom Thank you for sharing that beautiful picture! I saw sunflowers yesterday.

@cyds I like you have been trying to love my thinning hair, but I've reached a point, that there are so few strands to love. I'm silver too, and I love it, but it's been very frightening this year, with my husband's diagnosis, having to move out of our house due to mold, hotels, a financial rental loss, then another rental and a full remodel, that is so stressful, it's not worth doing. I'm stuck, in the middle, unfortunately, any degree of stress and anxiety goes to my weakest point: my hair. You are right, a woman's hair is like her crowning glory, and that's what makes this hard. We're exhausted by the end of the day; from everything we do as a care giver. Then, there's our own health issues to deal with, and the physical and emotional toll of extreme hair loss just adds more weight and worry on top of it all. I'm in the fight but the female pattern baldness has a coveted seat right next to my husband's caregiving needs. And I can't get her to move over.......Best, Karla