What does success mean after becoming disabled with a stroke?

@lisalucier

My biggest adjustment was that my state did not allow me to drive for 6 months after the stroke. Physically I had very few residual deficits, but I developed epilepsy, which is not uncommon with strokes and it took several years before the epilepsy was well controlled and I could drive again. The knitting thing I talked about was a minor inconvenience but there was something about the interactions of my 2 hands that my brain just couldn’t coordinate, knitting left-handed. Because I had a reasonable alternative, I used it.

Life has changed dramatically for me since my stroke last year. It is difficult for me to walk independently, and I am not able to drive. My husband & I do everything together; I need to hold his arm for balance. Because of my memory issues I use my iPhone calendar to note all events or appointments. I also use a paper calendar which hangs in our kitchen to note things. For important commitments, I will write a note as a reminder & place it by my chair in the living room, where I typically sit when at home. My husband & I work together to complete household chores. I begin additional PT in September in hopes of improving my ability to walk independently….which would greatly improve my situation and increase my ability to do things on my own.

Recognize that no one knows the answers to your questions. You are dealing with the Brain ..which is different in each of us. Yes. I have days that are bad and days when all I do is sleep. But I am on the way up
Even when it is 4 steps back and 1 step forward. A year from now I wont even remember this day. I try to remember that I'm on the way up even though I am the only 1 who sees it. If I try something that is hard. I say what it will be easier next time...or the time after that. I try vety hard to keep a positive attitude.....but allow myself to grieve over what I have lost.
I figured out that most of my problem was good old ordinary fear! Once I realized that it was easier to deal with the losses

@gdcm not being able to drive is the worst! But at least you have someone to help you...and keep doing your exercises. Maybe this is just temporary...at the end of one year if you are not driving your Brian isnt done healing ....and if you never regain driving ability you are lucky! You have someone who loves you!

I was very angry for a long time. Nothing has changed for people who cant drive in 30 or 40 years. But this is where we find ourselves and we must rely on others. Luckily I found people who are willing to help at little or no cost . It is not fair but then this whole thing is unfair. Ive had a whole lifetime of good health...and was blind to the struggles of handicapped people who are impacted at no fault if their own....some of them face a lifetime of difficulty....who am I to complain?

One tip that has helped me measure my progress and keep motivated during the bad days:

I consider how far I've come, not how far I have left to go.

From a personal perspective, when I get frustrated with getting peanut butter from a jar, I recall when I couldn't do it all. When walking a couple laps inside the house and getting winded, I remember when I needed a walker to get from one room to another.

Also, in the 7-1/2 years since my stroke, more than a few people I knew have died, including my twin brother and two of my wife's sisters.

As someone said, success is looking down at the grass instead of up at the roots.

@methel.....I knowvyou didn't mean it this way...but lose is gone from my vocabularyf! (Maybe I forgot it) every attempt is a win. I only lose if I dont attempt. Ive learned to guage myself according to me....not what others say or do...not others my age .
...not doctors! They do not know me or what l am feeling at the moment...it is my life and up to me to make what I can of it.

@winjki

Definitely agree with “it’s my life and it’s up to me to make what I can of it”. Only wish I had known that at 20 rather than waiting another 20 years to learn it. M.