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Anyone feel they made major life mistakes that are not forgivable?
I’m in my 60s and have realized I made major mistakes in my life that I cannot make amends for. I’ve always had a strong faith in God and feel now that God will not forgive me. I married a man that I did not love because I wanted to be married and have a family. I grew up an only child with no extended family and difficulty making friends. I thought love for my husband would develop out of our friendship, but it didn’t because of his anger issues. We have two adult sons. The older one barely keeps in touch and the younger one has undiagnosed depression and anger issues. I have seen a therapist who said I should try to forgive myself. I have tried to be a good wife and mother. I have prayed for forgiveness and admitted my mistakes. I want to pray to God for help but feel unworthy. Being Jewish, I have the belief in God’s attribute of justice as well as mercy. How can I move forward? How can God forgive me?
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While some of us want to be believe that if we react to the same event the same way every time that we will get the same outcome. But is the event always exactly the same? The usual example is beating a dead horse will not make him run faster or at all. Remember the movie Princess Bride, the hero was all dead just mostly dead. He had a little life in him. That little bit made the difference.
Life is full of events and decisions. You make the best choice with what you know at the time and you learn from it. If your choice worked, you "know" that choice might be the best. However, the next time, that choice might not work as well. When you are trying to solve a problem your "job" is to solve it. The first solution that works is the one you go with because if it works, you stop looking for better ways. The next person to tries the problem from a different view point may find that the first solution works but they found a better one. Does that make the first solution wrong? No.
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3 Reactions@rollingf
In the Secret Garden, that little bit of "life" was called wick.
I can't tell you how many "dead" plants in which there was wick, eventually returned to life.
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2 ReactionsIf you can’t be forgiven for wanting to be married, and have a family, and then later thinking, “I maybe shouldn’t have done that”, then I don’t know if anyone can be forgiven for anything ! Your realization should be looked at as an innocent mistake. And maybe, it wasn’t. Maybe it was for the good, but you may not ever see that. You are being too hard on yourself. Every one of us has made a big mistake/mistakes in life. Yes, we look back and are sorry. But, can only look forward, and go on. Paul, in the Bible, , used by Jesus said, “ forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth into those things which are before”. Phillipians 3:13. Try your best to quit regretting. If you want forgiveness for that, you will receive it. God is full of mercy.