After prostratectomy: What underwear and protection do you recommend?

As you can tell from the responses, every person is different, from the amount of incontinence, whether or when it stopped, to which products they feel comfortable using. I'm 18 months post surgery, and still have quite a bit of leakage when I am active, so to play it safe, I have settled on wearing a Depend or Tena brief on days when I am mostly sitting down (work days, desk job), and then adding a pad during active days. It works; not what I would have hoped for, but it is the "new me." Good luck with your surgery and your journey.

@djkurr, in addition to the link that @jeffmarc posted for you, here are a few more:
@retireddoc, @spino and others talk about worrying about incontinence and things you can do to help prevent or improve it.
- Improving Incontinence Post Therapy https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/improving-incontinence-post-therapy/
- Washable incontinence underwear https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/washable-incontinence-underwear/
- Incontinence Improvement with Pelvic PT https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/disappoints-incontinence-improvement-with-pelvic-pt/

There are many discussions about Kegel and pelvic floor exercises. Use the group search and keywords to find more answers:
Kegel discussions: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/prostate-cancer/

Surgery and recovery https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/prostate-cancer/

Keep asking questions. 🙂

@djkurr Stage two and moderate aggressive guy here too. I had surgery just about two months ago. I can't tell you what to do decision wise...but my calculation was that doing nothing would lead to major regrets and major progression.

Catching cancer at this stage means much better chance of avoiding having to do lots of followup treatments later, all with side effects that are difficult.

I use to sleep nude at night. I haven't got back to that stage post surgery yet, but there are really more important things in life....like life.

The catheter phase is annoying...but I got used to it in a week and then it was gone. The incontinence phase is challenging early, but it gets much better for most over the course of three months. I'm much better. But, no doubt, it's challenging.

There are lots of treatment options, so if surgery isn't your choice, you've got options. I decided not on which treatment had the least disagreeable side effects...but which treatment would offer the best chance if there was recurrence. Meaning, if it came back, what first treatment option gave me the best chance.

Lots of people choose radiation, which may be an option for you. In my case, I would have had to do radiation plus hormone therapy at the start, and I definitely didn't want that.

As others have said, start with loose sweat pants at the hospital and for the first couple of weeks. Once the catheter is out, start with pullup briefs and then insert a heavy pad into the pullup so that you don't go through so many pullups. Once you're done with pullups and just using pads (I started with Tena Maxium Pads), you'll need somewhat tight underwear to hold the pad in place or you'll risk leaks. I went so far as to wear a jock strap for ultimate confidence that the pad won't gap or slide. But, very few people do that.

Hang in there and you'll get through this. Not easy and we sure didn't ask for this...but the hand has been dealt. Keep posting and we'll offer support and advice best we can. It's a great community here.

@djkurr A good plan for the early phase of incontinence is to use a quality pullup brief and then insert pads in the front and just change those as needed. You can keep one pad in your back pocket while at work and then switch it out and not change the brief. The brief is there for insurance if there are leaks.

Nobody will know that you're wearing them. It makes no sound and they are compact enough that if you wear standard pants, it's complete unnoticeable.

For me, I got away from pullups within a couple of weeks post catheter and just went with pads. Once again, just keep a pad in your back pocket and switch when needed.

For pullup briefs, I used: "Tena Men Maximum Incontinence Underwear, Grey"
Those worked great.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DPR5BZPZ
For pads, I used: TENA Men Maximum Guards. Also have worked great.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072JC8RQT
For post surgery, I used these protectors on my recliner and bed and car seat....but candidly, they were only necessary for me twice when my pad had slipped while sleeping.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0037VRWE6
So, to keep pads from slipping around, I wore a jock strap. I used these because they are cheap. They run small, so definitely, order a size up from your normal underwear size.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07WN3SQHJ
Everyone is different, but these all worked great for me.

I'm close to moving to lighter pads....but the Tena maximums are great for some confidence during longer stretches.