DNR or Full Code for Resuscitation?

How did this get from a DNR discussion to a debate on trusts?

@kjoed53 The DNR/DNI documents are just the tip of the iceberg if you want to keep your life intact even after you are gone. My family history has a strange happening in it. Both my Great Grandfather, and his son, my Grandfather, has a clause in the wills, "Should my son/daughter predecease my wife then my estate passes to any grandchildren. For my Grandfather, his only offspring was my mother and she died a year before her mother. Even though my Mom and Dad shared everything especially the income from the property in Texas, the moment she died it all passed to us--three Grandchildren. My Mom and Dad had wills drawn up that left everything to the other.
I live in the rural part of Minnesota with 40 acres of woods. It is my bolthole, if we need it. I also have planted over 2000 Black Walnut trees. I have collected over 3800 books and over 4500 Comic books. I have a few ebooks, games, CD (music), and Videos. Five of my six children thanked me for sending them copies of all of the documents. The sixth one who has cut herself off from the family wanted to know what was in it for her ($$$).

Mom moved in with me and my husband 4 yrs ago. She is now 99 and still going strong. She works in the garden , picks up after the dogs, bakes banana bread and does the dishes every night after we have dinner. The worst thing you can do for an older person is to do everything for them. They need a purpose and a reason to get up every day. Their strength comes from the reason to live. I have left her alone for days while we go on vacation. I have some friends and neighbors who will look in on her and she can call us at any time. I am 72 and hope I can live like she has.
The question of DNR is a personal one. If she had various medical issues that might make a difference. Did I mention she is on no medication? She wonders why she is still here, but I could never help her make a decision one way or another for her. If she had medical issues I believe she would suggest the DNR would be her best way to go. When getting up from a chair, she stretches. She feels comfortable around my house because it is on a single level. She walks 2 blocks to get the mail twice a week and looks forward to continue living. I don't know when or where it will end but CPR will not be in the picture for her. I am 72 and question this for myself. A good thing to discuss with family and friends who know you.

@rollingf
I'm not questioning the importance of the many other aspects of preparing for the inevitable. I'm questioning why there's not a separate thread of equal importance when the topic of DNR is the only thing mentioned in the initial post. When important topics are squeezed into threads that are labeled as something else, they are lost to anyone who may not want to read updates to a DNR post. Likewise, anyone looking for updates to a DNR post may not want to weed through the updates that have nothing to do with DNR. These updates we receive every day are organized for the ease of the members who are interested in the topics posted. I think these non DNR updates should be the beginning of a new topic and it's own thread that is easier for all to follow or not, whichever they choose.

@kjoed53 The DNR/DNI documents are just the tip of the iceberg if you want to keep your life intact even after you are gone. My family history has a strange happening in it. Both my Great Grandfather, and his son, my Grandfather, has a clause in the wills, "Should my son/daughter predecease my wife then my estate passes to any grandchildren. For my Grandfather, his only offspring was my mother and she died a year before her mother. Even though my Mom and Dad shared everything especially the income from the property in Texas, the moment she died it all passed to us--three Grandchildren. My Mom and Dad had wills drawn up that left everything to the other.
I live in the rural part of Minnesota with 40 acres of woods. It is my bolthole, if we need it. I also have planted over 2000 Black Walnut trees. I have collected over 3800 books and over 4500 Comic books. I have a few ebooks, games, CD (music), and Videos. Five of my six children thanked me for sending them copies of all of the documents. The sixth one who has cut herself off from the family wanted to know what was in it for her ($$$).

@kjoed53 It happens for various reasons.
It would be nice, good and helpful if what you are questioning went according to your thoughts of the matter but it happens on many a threads and not just on this support group . It can be a good thing since as you have seen many have responded. It's somewhat like a conversation, one thing leads to another.
I wonder if someone like yourself could copy and paste it so it had its own thread. I wonder???
Barbara

@grrranny
I have a horror story about what happened to my Mother-In-Law. She had her daughter in charge of her care. She got so she couldn’t live by herself anymore. Not one of the kids took her in. My husband and I did. They informed us that we should call hospice. Immediately we knew that wasn’t needed. I worked with her to get her strength back. She had gotten so that she couldn’t even get out of a chair because they bought her one of those electric recliners that lifted you out of the chair. In general, she was very weak, but she recovered her strength quickly. They had done a lot of other stupid things. One of which, she had dental work that was extremely difficult to daily remove and replace. It should have been fixed! She thrived at our house. We had one problem that made it impossible for us, two full-time truck drivers, to care for her. I spent the entire time trying to remedy the situation.

She would get up at night to use the bathroom. When she did, she sometimes fell, and you would have to take her to emergency to make sure she didn’t hurt herself. One of the many things she did was when I bought an alarm that attached to her shirt and when she got up, the alarm would go off. She would take her shirt off and get up without setting off the alarm. Fast forward and regrettably we gave notice and she went to her other son’s house. Wasn’t there long and he put her in a nursing home. While she was there, we believe one of the attendants broke her jaw attempting to take out the dental device. Kaiser wrapped gauze around her head and sent her back to the nursing home. She had a DNR in place and one of the boxes that someone checked was that they could withdraw food and liquids. By the time we were told, it was too late. When she finally passed, she looked like a dried-up piece of leather.

All I can say is choose wisely who you decide to oversee making decisions. Like someone said, if you are frail, that could be a reason not to have CPR. Or living with certain attachments like a feeding tube. My dad had a feeding tube at home, and we used a lift to take him out to the living room daily for the last year of his life. He and the family enjoyed every minute of it. He had an amazing personality and sense of humor. We kept him at home to spend time with him and because he would not be able to defend himself in a nursing home or hospital. We were with him 24 hours a day while he had was there. It was hard on us to be there, and we brought him home and did everything that would have been done at the facilities. Not everyone can do that, but we were blessed with that ability. My dad always wanted full code, and he didn’t want to fill out a DNR. We decided that the only thing we were against was CPR. As frail as he was, it would have broken every one of his ribs.

@grannytrucker is a defibrillator as hard on one’s fragile bones as CPR?