I feel like I’m slowly dying and nobody is helping

Posted by seekingsupport @seekingsupport, Feb 19, 2024

I’m at a complete loss. I feel like this is my one last ditch effort at reaching out for support. I only had Covid once back in the summer of ‘22. I was very ill for over 6 weeks and it affected my heart for about a month afterwards with pericarditis and tachycardia. I thought I made a full recovery because I was completely symptom free for over a YEAR. This past August I moved and a week afterwards I became ill again, (no covid but a myriad of other new symptoms including the return of heart issues). Since then I have progressively gotten worse. I’ve had every test done under the sun including an endoscopy, colonoscopy, MRI of my brain, countless EKG’s, tons and tons of bloodwork…I could write three paragraphs on all of the doctors and tests and debilitating symptoms. I was diagnosed with POTS in October. I have lost over 50 pounds and cannot seem to gain weight and I am continuing to lose weight. Nobody has answers except to take a beta blocker which lowers my already too low blood pressure and makes me feel even worse. I’ve been to the ER almost 10 times. I feel like everyone thinks this is psychological and they continue to gaslight me. Why are there zero resources for people dealing with this? I’ve been unable to work now for over 6 months. I’m living alone and it’s becoming hard for me to even care for myself. Where is the help? Why have we been forgotten? I have become suicidal every day because of how ill I am without any support. There is only ONE Post Covid Rehabilitation Clinic here in the entire state of Washington and I’m not scheduled to see someone until June! My heart feels like it’s failing and getting worse by the day. I don’t think I’ll be alive by June. Can anyone help me? I’ve joined the Dysautonomia International group but everyone in there has at least someone who is supporting them. My family has been awful, making it out to be severe depression or that I’m exaggerating to get attention since all of the tests come back negative. They tell me to drink more water, eat more salt and exercise. I went to the gym every day following the POTS protocol back in November and now my heart is much much worse. Someone please help me.

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Profile picture for suecedar1028 @suecedar1028

@diverdown1 thank you for addressing and confirming everything that I have been saying for almost 3 yrs and counting. There is some comfort in knowing that I'm not alone yet at the same time, I feel deeply for others that are. I had to read your reply twice before realizing that it wasn't my very own response. If I get another blank stare or confused look from people when I say I have Long Haul Covid, (or better yet in my case, vaccine injury)....I feel as though I'll lose my mind! 🙁

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@suecedar1028 well...sorry you're going through this.
Why tell anyone you have this?If you can't talk about it realizing some people have ZERO interest or act confused...stop telling others.They don't NEED to empathize with you.You're hurting yourself more by expecting others to 'get it'...most don't.I say this with love dear.God Bless and stay strong.You'll get through this...

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Profile picture for h2998sc @h2998sc

@suecedar1028 well...sorry you're going through this.
Why tell anyone you have this?If you can't talk about it realizing some people have ZERO interest or act confused...stop telling others.They don't NEED to empathize with you.You're hurting yourself more by expecting others to 'get it'...most don't.I say this with love dear.God Bless and stay strong.You'll get through this...

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@h2998sc I disagree. Having the strength to ask others for help is good, looking for help from people and online is risky and can be very discouraging, but is important for healing. I've been working through my and my husband's friends putting together a support network for me; even if you find one empathetic person it helps, a hug helps, people that understand helps. I have cancer and most of my friends are not interested. My sister just said "you used to be so healthy" and then started blathering about her 50 yo son's knee. A woman I helped when she had ovarian cancer just blurted "you didn't help me when I had cancer", a couple thought the name of my cancer was funny, some other friends and family are ghosting me. That a few are there for me cancels out the duds. Other friends I use for doing normal stuff like walks and meals out, because we all need escapes. Sometimes online support groups help as well.

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