Reactions when you tell people you have Parkinson's Disease?

Posted by kathy49 @kathy49, May 19 10:34am

This is not a question so much as a chance to share experiences. My doctor warned me about the reactions I would get. I am 77 so it is not an early diagnosis. He was right. People have all sorts of ideas about the disease most of which are not accurate. I have mostly only told other medical professionals as it is important in terms of what I am taking and how it might impact other conditions I have. The nurses' reactions are sometimes shocking. "Oh I am SO SORRY. My grandpa died of that" and similar. I really get offended and correct their thinking. I have told few friends and mostly just family. Do other PD patients get those kind of reactions? I find it easier not to tell people now that the tremor is controlled. Any input on this.

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Profile picture for Lisa Lucier, Moderator @lisalucier

@jesslily - that sounds like the reactions are misinformed, as you mentioned, and sometimes (perhaps inadvertently) hurtful.

Wondering if you'd have an example you could share of a helpful response you've received to telling someone you had Parkinson's?

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@lisalucier
My best reaction was someone who said they had three people in their family who had PD. One asked if my sexual organs still worked. Not sure I would classify that as positive.

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Profile picture for nova11723 @nova11723

@lisalucier
My best reaction was someone who said they had three people in their family who had PD. One asked if my sexual organs still worked. Not sure I would classify that as positive.

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@nova11723 I have not told many people yet. this thread is great b/c it's preparing me for the WEIRD. that is certainly an odd question. I'm thinking about using "I wouldn't get too close" as a response.

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Profile picture for emmit @emmit

@nova11723 I have not told many people yet. this thread is great b/c it's preparing me for the WEIRD. that is certainly an odd question. I'm thinking about using "I wouldn't get too close" as a response.

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@emmit This is OFF TOPIC but reminds me of my daughter when she told a prospective employer that she has dyslexia and they asked her how often it "flares up"!! True story!

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Profile picture for kathy49 @kathy49

@emmit This is OFF TOPIC but reminds me of my daughter when she told a prospective employer that she has dyslexia and they asked her how often it "flares up"!! True story!

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@kathy49 that put a smile on my face. Hopefully it didn't "flare up" during stupid questions.

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she is in her 30's now and we still laugh about that experience. She did get the job and do well. I have had lunch with many of my friends with the summer weather and I have told no one. Now all this is dependent on meds controlling symptoms. I hope this phase lasts a long time.

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Profile picture for nova11723 @nova11723

I think this is a very interesting topic. Yes, some people can react like that, which has made me very reticent to tell anybody except the friends or colleagues who I believe can handle it. Or have seen me at my worse and need to be stopped from gossiping. Only about 10 or so people know for sure, and I was hoping a weight would be lifted when I did tell them, and in a sense it is, but then comes the part they don't tell you about. The part where you don't feel better and you still have the disease and now one more person knows about it. So I feel that I should never confirm unless absolutely necessary. But sometimes, it is necessary. Otherwise, the anxiety may consume you, or at least, that's how I felt.

By the way, the anxiety I am referring to is having to put on a performance all the time. I find that very tiring,

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@nova11723 as a friend of a 73 yr old with Parkinson’s I’m hear to learn and try to understand how she is feeling. Your comment about having to put on a performance struck a cord with me. She tells me she doesn’t like walking into social settings by herself and doesn’t come to our weekly lunches as much. Her symptoms are not real noticeable. She can’t explain to me why she feels this way. If the reason is anxiety about putting on a performance, how do I support her?

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Profile picture for 206452751079 @206452751079

@nova11723 as a friend of a 73 yr old with Parkinson’s I’m hear to learn and try to understand how she is feeling. Your comment about having to put on a performance struck a cord with me. She tells me she doesn’t like walking into social settings by herself and doesn’t come to our weekly lunches as much. Her symptoms are not real noticeable. She can’t explain to me why she feels this way. If the reason is anxiety about putting on a performance, how do I support her?

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@206452751079 you're a great friend. Hopefully, you get some really good responses to your question. Many times, people with Parkinson's cannot explain why they have certain feelings or cannot do certain things that seem very routine. Your patience and support are great.
Just a thought---"she doesn't like walking into social settings by herself" can you pick her up and bring her to the lunches, so you walk in together? Also, it might be the day or time of day of the lunches that's not working for her symptoms---1:00 on a Tuesday might just be a bad time for her.
hopefully people with a lot more experience respond to you. best of luck and keep up the good friendship

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Profile picture for 206452751079 @206452751079

@nova11723 as a friend of a 73 yr old with Parkinson’s I’m hear to learn and try to understand how she is feeling. Your comment about having to put on a performance struck a cord with me. She tells me she doesn’t like walking into social settings by herself and doesn’t come to our weekly lunches as much. Her symptoms are not real noticeable. She can’t explain to me why she feels this way. If the reason is anxiety about putting on a performance, how do I support her?

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@206452751079

Good question. For me, my issue is usually before the event, i.e. the anxiety how I will walk from the car to the room or the the chair. Sitting in a chair is particularly helpful so I don't have to multitask and just can focus on talking. The less I have to worry about the better, so if you streamline the logistics, it should help. Once I am participating, things tend to go well.

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Profile picture for southwest @southwest

@hopeful33250
Correct my main symptom, fatigue, is not well controlled.
Levodopa, modafinil did not help and made me more tired. I may be getting onapgo infusion, and hope that my body can adjust to it without excessive tiredness.
I am about to start a followup course of PT, the PT is really the single most effective treatment I’ve had.

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Hello @southwest

I see that you were starting a follow up course of PT. How are you doing?

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