@wendallzmom

Welcome, and thank you for the information. Does the "C" stand for childhood? I wasn't abused by anyone as a child, other than some bullying in school, but suffered trauma by employers, and people who slandered me and spread libelous false rumors about me, and exposure to some grizzly things as an EMT. Civilian PTSD. I was never in the military, but sometimes I wish I had.

I'm alarmed by the statistics of childhood trauma and abuse. It's always existed, and maybe we're just becoming more aware of it, but I'm saddened and angry when I read or hear what horrific treatment is heaped on innocent children, and on adults, as well. I'm sorry that you were so damaged as a child. I know that there are things that we can't simply put behind us, but they continue to haunt us long after the abuse stopped. You're wise, as well as fortunate, to have made the progress you have. That's surely a very difficult process that often takes a lifetime to achieve. I've been helped over the past decade by several good therapists, as well as the loving support of my wife, and by the companionship and therapy provided by my service dogs. I hope that you will continue to experience healing.

Jim

@wendllzmom I too have CPTSD (Complex Post Tramatic Stress Disorder, for those not familiar with it) stemming to my multiple instances of abuse as a child and young adult. Glad you found support groups that have helped you understand and learn to trust again. I too have found a support group & an excellent psychologist that helps me on my road to recovery.

Jim, the C stands for Complex, meaning from multiple experiences of abuse and trauma. In case you haven't found out yet what it stands for. 🙂

dear wendell. thank you for this information. first time i have heard of this cptsd. would really, really want and need to go to a support group. i will try to find it on the internet. wonderful and thanks again. as this went on into my teens. many years, many, many. even to this day if i would have anything to do with any family members. lonely.@@

Wow! I never heard of that either, but it sure makes sense. Are there any groups for this or is this something to discuss with our own therapist?
abby

@magspierce, @peach414144

Thanks for the information. I'd say that it's pretty complex for me, with each event building on the previous ones over the course of my life. Even dealing with the disorder is traumatic sometimes. As my therapist says, anxiety about anxiety, depressed about depression. Trauma about trauma. I have to be attentive to that because it's so true for me.

I'm sorry you're so lonely, Barb peach. Trouble with loneliness is that we can be lonely even though we're surrounded by people. We do need each other, don't we. I've discovered that even connecting with people online can relieve loneliness.

Jim

dear blindeyepug, please, please, do not judge all bipolar persons as being the same. they are not. just because a bad bipolar person did you terrible harm does not mean that all bipolar people are the same. i do not judge you and do not want to hurt you in any way, but, i am bipolar and i have been terribly hurt from other people myself. with cptsd horrible, horrible family torture mentally as well as physically. there are people who do not just have bipolar but other conditions such as physicotic, killers, etc. (you can see i am a layman and do not have the correct words.) please love yourself as i am trying to do and yes, i am preying for you as i am sure others are. this site is good for all of us. @

@you have very good insight. i am sure there are many of us who agree with you. it can be a hurtful world many times. people understand where you are coming from. keep posting. peachbarb

Your words are so true...seems the older I become the worse the past abuse and my quality of life has plummeted and physical pain keeps me from life and all I can do is be bashed by the past. The verbal abuse was the most painful. Seems the memories are ruling my existence-rather like there boogie men everywhere. Fear is crippling.

@parus - I'm not sure what message you are referring to, but I can surely connect with your words, especially about fear. The Bible says that perfect love casts out fear. Over the past years, I've been moving past some of my fears, and I know that as I have been learning to love myself, some fears have gone. I must still need to love myself more, because there remain some very real fears. Maybe not all of them are tied into depression and its cohorts. I talked briefly with the therapist last session about my fear of rejection, which I suppose is a fear held by the majority of people. I guess I need to talk more about fear with the therapist.

Stereotypes, notions about morality, cultural expectations, my own self judgment and more feed my fear. I don't know if I'll ever be able to overcome all of my fears, but I'm working on it.

Is there something in your past that still strikes fear in you? I know too well how that feels. We can keep working with being released from fear, and we can find ways to work around it. Maybe you can share some way you've learned to handle a particular fear.

Jim