@blindeyepug

I agree - great book.

Teresa

@parus

I was never allowed to express anger growing up. I was probably 30 before I understood that it's part of our emotional nature, and it's ok to express it in appropriate ways. I feel like I'm back there again, as I hold it all in. I do talk with the therapist about the things that make me angry, but that's not dealing with it in the setting that angers me. But, talking about it does help.

I don't remember a time when I was angry enough to cause damage or harm. I get irritated by stupid drivers and by clueless people who say dumb, hurtful things. I guess I'm by nature a calm, quiet person.

My parents didn't permit disagreement with them, and didn't discuss things with us. Children are to be seen and not heard type of thinking. So, I have trouble with confrontation and debate, and basically just trouble with interacting with people. Not healthy.

Jim

I know exactly what you mean Jim...I was raised the same way.

Jim @jimhd

Yes, I understand as well! Not being able to express emotions leaves you handicapped as much as not being able to use your limbs would leave you handicapped - just in a different way.

Teresa

@nanke99 I agree. It does make it very difficult to relate to others. I am fortunate to have a medical dr & my psychologist who work together for my overall health. I also have fibromyalgia and other health conditions. The more I'm learning about how being abused as a child effects my life today, I'm learning that our bodies "retain" the pain from the trauma and can cause our bodies to have all sorts of issues. It all goes along together.

I agree, @parus, recovery takes a long time, and maybe we never completely recover. It is also important that we go at our own pace, we can't "hurry" recovery, even if we want to...been there, done that and it doesn't work. Because when depression is chronic, it's like a serious disease where when we work on it and get the help/medical & mental we need, we can feel better and be in "remission". But the memories are still there and we don't have control over how & when our feelings erupt, so even though we can get better it may be something that we continually have to work on.

@magspierce

I appreciate your adding your thoughts to our conversation! You describe that recovery from PTSD is a process (or a journey) that takes a lifetime - with good and not so good moments along the way. I see that you have recently joined Mayo Connect - let me welcome you. Please feel free to post as you feel comfortable. We look forward to getting to know you better.

Teresa

Thank you for the welcome Teresa! I am looking forward to getting to know you and others better too.

dear blindeyepug, i should have replied with this information to you sooner but here goes as per your request. some of my wonderful conditions are ptsd, psoriatic and rheumatoid arthritis, stage 3 kidney failure, anemia, diabetes stage 2, high blood pressure, vein blood flow, stomach ulcers (h-pylori), heart failure, slow thyroid, macular degeneration, glaucoma and bi-polar. so far am still driving, shopping, cleaning house, etc., etc. AND watching much, much television. boy, has tv changed since we got one at my age 13. an 8" screen, a signal all day and at about 5pm it's HOWDY DOODY TIME. see, life does get better. i am 80 now and still have my problems at times horrible anxieties but somewhat better than years ago. there are times of enjoyment which i appreciate more now than ever. love to all.and be glad you don't have to take the 14 medications i need to.

I also had abuse when I was a child, have you ever heard of CPTSD (Complex). I don't believe it's recognized but when I read it it was exactly me! It was PTSD but just a little different. It's not a matter of one incident it's a matter of constant abuse over time. There are support groups out there that have helped me understand and help me work my way back and learning to trust , I do not fear every person that comes into my life.

Just thought I would mention it