difference between young and old patients in the fight against cancer

None of us are getting out of this alive, cancer or not, but, if you are truly wishing for the end sooner than later, please speak with a professional. I'm 70 and have a small farm with a few critters and a half acre garden. I live alone and work it alone. Been on ADT a little over a year. The days of throwing a 50 lb. feed sack on my shoulder and walking it to the animals are gone. Now I put it on one of those folding hand carts and wheel it. Used to just bend over to tend and weed the garden, now I use a folding stool. Used to use a walk behind mower to mow the rest of the property (a few acres), now I use a tractor. I have to sit down and call it a day hours earlier than I used to. I still love this life but with age plus cancer, it just takes a little longer and I have to get creative in how some things get done. Sure, I wish it was different, but it isn't. I wake up in the morning, roll over and say, "Ha...made it." Make coffee, chat a little here, and go feed the critters. Some would ask, "Is that all there is?" I would say, " That's all I need."

Well, bye for now. Gotta go feed the critters and prune some fruit trees. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other, get some exercise, and the next time you think of cutting your veins, make a call and get some help. Best wishes. Life with cancer is different, not over.

First, yes, if you're having thoughts of self-harm, that's the most urgent problem. Please get support. You have a lot of life left to live.

Second, have you seen a physiotherapist to help with the muscle stiffness? My case is different because I was paraplegic from the spinal metastasis when I was 56, and some of the nerve damage was permanent, but over the past nearly 5 years since then (on ADT and Apalutamide), I've discovered that morning stretches and physio exercises have become non-negotiable.

It's no longer just "It's a good idea to do your stretches and exercises"; it's "Do them, or your legs will be like logs all day and you'll have trouble balancing."

My full morning physio routine starts in bed and lasts about 30 minutes. Starting in bed is helpful, because it gets the blood flowing and gives me the energy to do the part that I have to do out of bed (originally I had to do all my exercises in bed or the wheelchair before I regained mobility). I also have a shorter 15 minute routine that I can do when I'm in a hurry, as long as I don't do it too many days in a row, because then I start to see decline in my flexibility and mobility as well.

Many of us are certainly older and i am very sorry to hear of you having to start to endure this at 47 and being 49 now. Maybe some of the younger members or members who were diagnosed similarly can share their journeys and alot of the optimism they have. I do believe so many think this is a cancer they will get much later in life after they hava lived a full life , but that is not the case. I imagine trying to maintain a quality of life at times depending on treatment can be difficult, but often after a completing a treatment things improve substantially. My first cancer hit at 50, stage 4 non Hodgkin’s lymphoma with my daughter first born. At that time life expectancy for me was 7 to 12 years. I never expected to see a 8th grade graduation, nor high school let alone college. Here I am, now having experienced all those albeit, now with prostate cancer, but I went back then to a center of excellence and went through chemotherapy, several years then a relapse and more newer treatment, and have continually endured other issues at times with a compromised immune system but Thank God I am in remission. You did not mention specific details or whether you are treated locally or at a center of excellence for your prostate cancer but if you could share maybe younger members have taken paths and been provided treatment protocols they can share. You have my prayers.

Denis76 - Proverbs 3:5-6 says 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, He will make your paths straight.' It is hard to cling to anything when we are at the bottom of this PC journey but Jesus promises us a better life to come if we just believe in Him. We can't control the circumstances of the here and now, and some definitely have it much rougher than others but it does help me believing that there is life (and a much better one) at the end of this life if we believe in Him. Don't give up, God has a plan for you, even if it is to encourage the rest of us engaged in the cancer battle. Believing that there is something better coming helps to get me through the here and now. My prayers are with you!

I was diagnosed at 51. Had RARP six months later at 52. The problem is trade-offs are much more high stakes when you are younger. ED is a bigger issue as are the prospects of living with incontinence. On the other hand, you still have a life expectancy of 30+ years and want to minimize long-term recurrence risks.

Before I had stage 4 prostate cancer, I took most of life for granted. I knew I *should* exercise, *should* watch my blood sugar, *should* stretch in the morning, etc., but it was always about long-term consequences, and if I took a day or two (or five) off, it didn't much matter.

Now, I *must* take all my pills; I *must* stretch in the morning; I *must* exercise; I *must* watch my blood sugar; I *must* think about how what I drink irritates the radiation damage in my bladder; I *must* never let my attention lapse when I'm walking, or I might snag my toe in a crack and face-plant on the pavement (this last one due to the cancer-related spinal injury); and a dozen other little things.

I am very grateful to be alive and participating in life fully, but I will never have a day or even a few waking hours off, for the rest of my (hopefully, very long) life. That's the real burden of living with this disease, and the cumulative cognitive and emotional overhead is something that it's hard for people without chronic disease to understand, because no one of the things seems all that hard in isolation.

Hi, And sorry you are going through this. First, you didn't mention any of your stats? Why you have been on ADT so long? I'm assuming because you have advanced PC? Because many studies show 1 yr of ADT can be just as beneficial as long term for certain stages. Also ADT can cause suicidal thoughts along with issues you describe. Perhaps you can ask a medical oncologist if you can stop or switch to a different ADT. Ask about Transdermal estradiol patches which show promising results instead of ADT. Wishing you the best!

Ancan.Org has a group for people that are under 60. They discuss all issues with having prostate cancer much younger than average. You might want to go to the website, look up the calendar, and attend one of the meetings it can give you a lot of emotional support. People feel better right away when they go to meetings like this. Hearing from others and hearing what the options are Can be very beneficial.

I know at your age it is very tough to get to the gym because you’re working all day. Doing weight exercises can really help with your muscle problems. I did get prostate cancer at 62, Which is a lot older than you, But mine was due to genetic problems. I know somebody else @dinu that got it at 45 because he had the genetic problem of ATM. Have you had hereditary genetic testing? That might give you some answers as to why this happened so young. There are treatments for a couple of different genetic problems.

There are a couple of different options you could try. You could switch to the estradiol patch, Which has fewer side effects and might help relieve some of your problems. Another option would be to switch from ADT to a drug like Darolutamide. That would allow your testosterone to rise and make you feel a lot better. It works very well to keep the PSA down. I know a lot of people over at ancan.org That have advanced prostate cancer that are on that as their only drug. It prevents the testosterone from working with prostate cancer. That’s why you can have testosterone with it.. Speak to your doctor about this, Your mindset is quite negative because of your physical problems, You need help and you need to make that very clear to your doctor. If that doesn’t work with that doctor, then get a second opinion for one or more other doctors. You need to be proactive with prostate cancer and in your case, it could extend your life and make it more livable.

Please consider seeing a mental health provider if your thoughts of self-harm are increasing. There are prescription medication choices and resources that can help you feel better.

The Reluctant Brotherhood has online support groups for men with prostate cancer, included those, like yourself who are under 60. It’s not easy to deal with the diagnosis and treatments alone. Sharing with others walking the same path can help.
https://thereluctantbrotherhood.org/home

I feel for you brother, you’re too young to have gotten this terrible cancer . I’m sure many of us even if we don’t admit it have had the dark thoughts you describe. I’m 79 but lived my life as if I were 59 until cancer hit me . My ED is mentally killing me each day and have beautiful younger wife brings tears when all we can do is hug . We each deserve to decide how important quality of life is to us , if I had it all to do over I would have tried to enjoy what time I had left and not had surgery, radiation and Lupron . I hope your wife understands how painful each day is for you . My wife tries to understand but she feels I should seek things that make me happy, not so easy . I use to fear death but I don’t anymore. I’ll be thinking of you and hope you find something that will ease your pain.