Survivorship: How is it going?

Thanks for a really good post, and I love the photo….people often think cancer is ‘’over’’ when treatments end…but cancer will always be in our rear view mirror….that part is where fellow survivors offer great support, which helps us lighten our ‘’load’’ and move on….helping others is one of the best ways to heal this part of ourselves. This sharing underlines how incredibly grateful we are for each and every day ! Sending healing thoughts to fellow survivors !

@nycmusic Thank you for your thoughtful comment! ¨ . . . always be in our rear view mirror" is well put, and it's admirable that one way you've chosen to heal this part is by helping others❤ I'm interested in creating more spaces for us to share our experiences with one another, since I've found that healing as well. Thanks again for your insights 🙂

@valentinaz Hello! I'm so happy to see you back here. This is a wonderful start to a very important discussion.

It's taken me awhile - 5 years - to put that cancer recurrence in my rear view mirror. I don't think about every day and you are so correct. No one wants to hear or talk about this with me. My brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer the year after I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer - we can share with one another. I've met a few people whose diagnosis was around the same time as mine and like me they still return for cancer surveillance appointments. Each time they return - 3 month intervals, 6 months intervals or maybe 1 year, they worry. I'm in this group especially if it's time for CT imaging. I had a mammogram a few days ago and anxiously awaited those results. Negative which was a relief but the possibility of a new cancer such as breast cancer does cause me worry.

Most days I live my life. I continue to practice the lifestyle changes I made after my cancer diagnosis including nutrition. I do have my days when I fall off that nutrition wagon but I quickly get back on the wagon the following day. I keep up with exercise, especially walking and weightlifting twice weekly. I'm also getting better at saying "no".

It's healing for me to write all of this. Thank you again for starting this discussion.

Cancer forever changed me. I miss the relatively carefree life I had BC (before cancer) and hate the way people ask me how I am, with that pitiful look and tone. I hate trying to enjoy a social gathering (where I have briefly forgotten) and being asked medical details. I hate knowing that the first thing people think of when they see me is that friend, neighbor, coworker who had cancer. I hate knowing that they talk about me to see who knows what. I really hate the anxiety of scans and appointments and the mounting side effects of treatments. I hate the constant fear of recurrence, treatment that fails, and a painful death. And I hate that I am filled with so much angst and hatred. On the other hand, I cherish my time with family and friends and appreciate the moments when I am engaged in activity and not thinking about all of those things that I hate. There is nothing like a diagnosis of an aggressive cancer to rearrange one’s priorities and plans, as well as to understand human nature and the people to keep close. I miss my BC life, but I am thankful for every day that I still walk this earth.

@naturegirl5 Happy to see you again, too, Nature Girl 🙂 I'm not sure I knew how similar our stories were: endometrial cancer; my brother was also diagnosed with prostate cancer (though about three years after my diagnosis) and oof, the worry/anxiety that we get when those anniversaries/appointments approach is no joke, is it? It's just my opinion, but I consider the most important lifestyle change we can make is 'saying no.' Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment and I'm so glad it was helpful/healing to write it; I think there's some magic in writing and sharing it with others. See you here again soon! 🥰

@ffr Thank you so much for your response: it feels raw and honest and I really appreciate it, and you. I think many of us can relate to how our hate (and maybe even fear) of our diagnoses makes us hate everything connected to it, you know? I also feel the tender spot of plans and priorities being rearranged, how it can feel like it was without our consent. It also reminds me of the loss of some friends after my diagnosis, which is a tender spot, too. Thank you again for your response, and I'm glad you're still here, walking this earth, as you say. ❤

I've been dealing with a blood cancer ("ET" essential thrombocythemia) for almost 6 years now, with daily chemo medication. Last year I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. Had 2 surgeries and radiation, and just had my first surveillance appointment a few weeks ago. I haven't told many people, family of course, and a few friends, but not everyone. Only on "a need to know" basis. I think since I didn't die right away my family (lives 3,000 miles away), think it's all over.....but it is a daily reminder when I take my chemo pills every night. And take pain med for my bone pain at night when pain is worst. Until 6 years ago, I never took any medication for any problems. Just Vit D and B12 that my primary recommended. As Bette Davis said "Getting old ain't for sissies"
I agree it's good to share experiences and thoughts. Keep coming back.

i thought it was over, was looking forward, and tbh rather pissed when it came back...i was trying to move on...now i'm back on the chemo, it is working and looking forward to starting my "after cancer surveillance" in a few months again... how will i deal with it? idk...but one thing that i've found irritates the dickens out of me... the one comment people make... " you don't look like you're sick or ever been through that" .... i KNOW they mean well but to me (and i may be overly sensitive because of this) that its like they don't believe me and i'm making it up... i think the mental part is the hardest about surviving...dealing with the well wishers, the fear it may come back and the feeling of being alone because people fall into 2 groups 1) no one wants to talk about your fears or 2) they don't want to let you move forward and try to live your life normally.. its like for me there's no in between...oh and lets not forget all the listening to EVERYONE's "my xxx had cancer" and this is what happened to them...even if it doesn't relate to your cancer at all.....
idk if this is particularly what you were asking but i survived thyroid cancer 13 years ago, then came through the ovarian in 2024 before going back on chemo this year from it reoccurring but its just my thoughts on it...

I totally know what you mean when you hear silly comments about how you look!! After such silly statements I freeze with surprise. It’s only later that I come up with sarcastic retorts that I wish I had the guts to say. 😆

@mommacandy This is why, like @1995victoria I told very few people about my first diagnosis of endometrial cancer in 2019 and later the recurrence in 2021. I told my family and my close friends. But no one else. I did not want to hear any one else’s stories about “oh, my best friend had cancer” and this is what happened to them. Not all cancers are the same even if the same organ is involved. For instance, there are different types of endometrial cancer and different stages. I also didn’t want any empty best wishes out of some sort of misguided obligation. Harsh, I know, because ultimately many people mean well. I really believe that. This is not a disease that is “one and done, all better now”.

I live in a small neighborhood. I did not tell my neighbors directly about my cancer diagnosis. But I did tell a few and “word” got around. That’s OK because I know all of my neighbors and two of us were being treated at the same time for different kinds of cancer. One of my neighbors asked me if she could give me a hug. I knew her hug was heartfelt and that hug was so meaningful to me.

So here at Mayo Clinic Connect I am among people who “get it”. I am so very grateful for finding this website shortly after my diagnosis. I am also grateful for having medical providers who have treated me and followed me over these years.