Cancer forever changed me. I miss the relatively carefree life I had BC (before cancer) and hate the way people ask me how I am, with that pitiful look and tone. I hate trying to enjoy a social gathering (where I have briefly forgotten) and being asked medical details. I hate knowing that the first thing people think of when they see me is that friend, neighbor, coworker who had cancer. I hate knowing that they talk about me to see who knows what. I really hate the anxiety of scans and appointments and the mounting side effects of treatments. I hate the constant fear of recurrence, treatment that fails, and a painful death. And I hate that I am filled with so much angst and hatred. On the other hand, I cherish my time with family and friends and appreciate the moments when I am engaged in activity and not thinking about all of those things that I hate. There is nothing like a diagnosis of an aggressive cancer to rearrange one’s priorities and plans, as well as to understand human nature and the people to keep close. I miss my BC life, but I am thankful for every day that I still walk this earth.