Parus, I can totally relate to your feelings. I never thought children growing up and leaving home would be so hard, especially if you're not feeling well. Having family at a distance makes illness even worse. I hope this group can help you feel more connected with people, especially if they're in the same situation. Pain and illness can be very isolating.
@jenapower Thank you for your kind words. My adult children are nearby...I know everyone is busy. Thankfully, I am still ambulatory and can still drive. Chronic pain is isolating...I have my watercolor brushes to keep my hands and mind involved. The title of the posted painting is, "Ghost Horse". Will be saying farewell to my lovely flowers soon. Cold weather does cause pain to be worse. Loneliness is what it is...my children owe me nothing.
@jenapower Thank you for your kind words. My adult children are nearby...I know everyone is busy. Thankfully, I am still ambulatory and can still drive. Chronic pain is isolating...I have my watercolor brushes to keep my hands and mind involved. The title of the posted painting is, "Ghost Horse". Will be saying farewell to my lovely flowers soon. Cold weather does cause pain to be worse. Loneliness is what it is...my children owe me nothing.
Well, floating along in the same boat has become easier recently what with almost constant rain, storms and hurricanes. : ) I liked your post about being in the same boat. I also like Ghost Horse - it must be gratifying to be able to water paint and enjoy enough talent to produce beautiful paintings. How long have you been painting? I used to sing and play guitar, even professionally into my 30s. It was fun. I also remember playing at home for hours, losing myself in the music. At some point, the songs seemed to be sadder and playing became more difficult. Wish I had the enthusiasm to pick it back up -- after so many years, I'm rusty of course, and even I am amazed to find I've turned into ... well, I'll leave it at that. LOL
I hope the cold weather holds off long enough for you to enjoy the company of your flowers for quite a bit longer and avoid the worsening pain of the cold. My body no longer handles the cold very well - it's startling how much difference it makes. It's good to see you on here again.
I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to ... it's just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it's rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a 'glass is half full,' optimistic person. I don't know where she went, but she's gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you're not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.
I am an 81 year old widow in pain 24/7. Thanks to my children I have a roof over my head. I didn’t plan it this way but it is what I have to work with. After a cervical and hip replacement and broken elbow I have a lot of metal. I can walk and drive. I can read and I can write. I have faith that there is a purpose and reason I’m alive. Every morning I thank God for a new day. I am blessed. Consider what you have and find joy in it. God bless.
I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to ... it's just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it's rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a 'glass is half full,' optimistic person. I don't know where she went, but she's gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you're not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.
I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to ... it's just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it's rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a 'glass is half full,' optimistic person. I don't know where she went, but she's gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you're not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.
I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to ... it's just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it's rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a 'glass is half full,' optimistic person. I don't know where she went, but she's gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you're not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.
I agree with your points. Thankfulness, appreciation, having a purpose are very desirable qualities.
That said, I know from experience (that is still happening today), that depression can cause us to lose sight of those things. They're the very signs of depression and anxiety, and other mental illness.
Being a lifelong Christian and a minister all of my adult life, I've heard, learned and taught the Christian principles that are invaluable to living a balanced life. But over the past 12-15 years, living with deep depression, PTSD, anxiety, and suicidal ideation and a few other things, has made all of the things that have guided me for so long seem like so much hot air some of the time. I know them to be true mentally, but believing tends to be a fatality of depression.
During this time of my life, the encouragement others give means a lot to me. Therapists, my wife, pastors and others have cared enough about me to stick with me, not usually giving me advice, but some kind of support.
I believe that the day will come when depression will let up, and my thinking will return to rationality, so to that extent I have hope, which is surely a ways from where I was not too long ago.
Chronic pain for many of us exacerbates depression. They seem to feed on each other. At the very least, it's discouraging.
I'm 67, married for 45 years to my wife who's the same age and is going through her own chronic pain, so we understand how the other feels. She doesn't understand depression, so she gets irritated with me. I get plenty irritated, too.
I suspect I'm not the only one who responds to pain this way. But I know that others handle it differently, even when depression et al are in the mix. Any other coping skills that have worked?
I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to ... it's just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it's rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a 'glass is half full,' optimistic person. I don't know where she went, but she's gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you're not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.
Jim. I do understand. My husband of 58 years had very deep depression. He also was a minister who felt he had no purpose. I also understand your wife as I felt he needed to get up and move. Now I have constant pain and it’s difficult to move. I carry guilt at times as I was not always sympathetic. I have bouts of depression as I have always been active. I now try to help others. Before I moved I visited asst. living home. I was the healthiest even though I was in pain. It’s a blessing. Even if it’s just a kind word. Don’t be so hard on your self. Relax and it will happen. You may not be close to God and that’s okay but He’s close to you. Your friend Jo
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The loneliness has become all-consuming. So much love to give and still so alone.
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3 ReactionsParus, I can totally relate to your feelings. I never thought children growing up and leaving home would be so hard, especially if you're not feeling well. Having family at a distance makes illness even worse. I hope this group can help you feel more connected with people, especially if they're in the same situation. Pain and illness can be very isolating.
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3 Reactions@jenapower Thank you for your kind words. My adult children are nearby...I know everyone is busy. Thankfully, I am still ambulatory and can still drive. Chronic pain is isolating...I have my watercolor brushes to keep my hands and mind involved. The title of the posted painting is, "Ghost Horse". Will be saying farewell to my lovely flowers soon. Cold weather does cause pain to be worse. Loneliness is what it is...my children owe me nothing.
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3 ReactionsWell, floating along in the same boat has become easier recently what with almost constant rain, storms and hurricanes. : ) I liked your post about being in the same boat. I also like Ghost Horse - it must be gratifying to be able to water paint and enjoy enough talent to produce beautiful paintings. How long have you been painting? I used to sing and play guitar, even professionally into my 30s. It was fun. I also remember playing at home for hours, losing myself in the music. At some point, the songs seemed to be sadder and playing became more difficult. Wish I had the enthusiasm to pick it back up -- after so many years, I'm rusty of course, and even I am amazed to find I've turned into ... well, I'll leave it at that. LOL
I hope the cold weather holds off long enough for you to enjoy the company of your flowers for quite a bit longer and avoid the worsening pain of the cold. My body no longer handles the cold very well - it's startling how much difference it makes. It's good to see you on here again.
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2 Reactions@patshaw
What a beautiful picture!
Teresa
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2 ReactionsI am an 81 year old widow in pain 24/7. Thanks to my children I have a roof over my head. I didn’t plan it this way but it is what I have to work with. After a cervical and hip replacement and broken elbow I have a lot of metal. I can walk and drive. I can read and I can write. I have faith that there is a purpose and reason I’m alive. Every morning I thank God for a new day. I am blessed. Consider what you have and find joy in it. God bless.
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3 ReactionsHello @jo54
Thanks for sharing your story with us. It sounds as if you have found gratitude to be a way of dealing with difficulties, that is great!
It is amazing how gratitude for what you have makes everything else more bearable.
Teresa
Beautifully said. Thank you I’m in the same situation
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1 Reaction@jo54
I agree with your points. Thankfulness, appreciation, having a purpose are very desirable qualities.
That said, I know from experience (that is still happening today), that depression can cause us to lose sight of those things. They're the very signs of depression and anxiety, and other mental illness.
Being a lifelong Christian and a minister all of my adult life, I've heard, learned and taught the Christian principles that are invaluable to living a balanced life. But over the past 12-15 years, living with deep depression, PTSD, anxiety, and suicidal ideation and a few other things, has made all of the things that have guided me for so long seem like so much hot air some of the time. I know them to be true mentally, but believing tends to be a fatality of depression.
During this time of my life, the encouragement others give means a lot to me. Therapists, my wife, pastors and others have cared enough about me to stick with me, not usually giving me advice, but some kind of support.
I believe that the day will come when depression will let up, and my thinking will return to rationality, so to that extent I have hope, which is surely a ways from where I was not too long ago.
Chronic pain for many of us exacerbates depression. They seem to feed on each other. At the very least, it's discouraging.
I'm 67, married for 45 years to my wife who's the same age and is going through her own chronic pain, so we understand how the other feels. She doesn't understand depression, so she gets irritated with me. I get plenty irritated, too.
I suspect I'm not the only one who responds to pain this way. But I know that others handle it differently, even when depression et al are in the mix. Any other coping skills that have worked?
Jim
Jim. I do understand. My husband of 58 years had very deep depression. He also was a minister who felt he had no purpose. I also understand your wife as I felt he needed to get up and move. Now I have constant pain and it’s difficult to move. I carry guilt at times as I was not always sympathetic. I have bouts of depression as I have always been active. I now try to help others. Before I moved I visited asst. living home. I was the healthiest even though I was in pain. It’s a blessing. Even if it’s just a kind word. Don’t be so hard on your self. Relax and it will happen. You may not be close to God and that’s okay but He’s close to you. Your friend Jo