Loneliness chronic pain and depression are a trio of killers. Having lived through all three I feel it's appropriate to comment. I recently found the last key to my depression was exercise and I've returned to the gym on an almost daily basis to use what's called a nustep machine. That is the proper spelling. It's a cross trainer that you sit on and it creates no pain in my back and that's the chronic long-lasting pain that I suffer from the most. So it's just the ticket. My dogs and my son help with loneliness and I also make a point of almost daily trips to the grocery store where I visit with the Butcher and the vegetable kid and the ladies at the checkout. fortunately I still have my wife and my adult son who has Down syndrome lives at home with me and I'm as caretaker. Today we're going to St Paul to meet my son and his wife that is my second son and his wife to have lunch in a Mexican market should be a great time. As I said the gym was the last step in dealing with depression. I also use a couple of meds see a psychologist and keep as busy as my physical condition will allow me. Participating in this group is also helpful especially answering other people's comments. It is tough to see what bad places other people are stuck in. My heart goes out. Love & blessings to you all

@wsh66 Exercise is a wonderful thing. I can no longer due much and it is sad indeed. Gentle stretching and nothing else. Will admit this has me in a dark place. Medications have been worse than the conditions. Stuff happens. I now confess-I am not super woman nor anything else. Spent my life endeavoring to please others-after 65 years I realized this leaves one alone. Much prefer thus. Hard not being the physically active person I like to be. Again, stuff happens. It could be worse is my mantra.

@wsh66

I have a sister who lives in Apple Valley, a town surrounded by St. Paul. I have a place to stay if I should ever be able to get to Mayo in Rochester.

Jim

Try a new mantra. How about it will be better. Give it a whirl.

@wsh69 Thank you for your input-I had to let that belief go a long time ago. It is a thing called reality.

That's good for you. I'm 84 and alone no relatives and 2500 miles away from the three relatives I have in NYC. I came to SD and had 7 relatives jall of whom have either died or had to move to the East coast ac of their jobs moving them. And I belong to a minority racial group and an Episcopalisn family that came to tht US in early 1900s. I don't share the history of most of my racial group and therefore don't exactly fit in with them. bUT I keep as busy as I can although being my age I have outlived most of my peers and blood relatives.

Reality is what has already happened. The future is what will happen. If it hasn't happened yet it doesn't have to happen. Things can get better. If you don't think they're going to get better they're probably not going to get better. I was in horrible pain a couple of hours ago. and I believed that if I went to a quiet place with a glass of wine and centered my thoughts and brought peace to my mind and my body that I could live through my pain and experience as much less pain than it was before. As it usually does either my pain decreased or my experience of that pain became different. If I didn't believe I had power over these things, I might have given up a long time ago. I do guided meditations. You listen to what the meditation is telling you to do and you do it . You relaxed what the voice tells you to relax. you see the image the voice tells you to see. you fall into the emptiness. At some point, this train goes off the track. The Voice goes away and you see different images that no voice is telling you to see. You experience different Sensations that your mind is creating, that you are creating. It took a while to develop this ability but there's nothing special about me, anyone can do it. meditation is much easier than people think it is, they try to hard. Being healed is much different than then being cured or being fixed. we do not have to stop growing while we are still alive. My situation isn't something I would wish on anyone else, but it's not nearly as bad as it could be and I can make it better if I choose to because I believe I can and that is my reality and it can be your reality if you choose it to be

Wine could help with pain-I suppose.

actually the wine just happened to be present at that moment. it wasn't my intention to meditate at that time. After I get unwrapped and massage I have an hour where I don't have to be wrapped and I usually go sit with my dogs and have a glass of wine. after I got to my chair I decided it was time to meditate. if my initial plan had been to meditate I wouldn't have taken wine with me. not that it would have been a problem but it isn't part of the process and it isn't required. there are many things that we can't change about our condition. Fortunately, our mindset is not among them.

we did make that trip to the Mexican restaurant with both my sons and David's wife. We had a great lunch and did some shopping. Stocked up on dry peppers and a whole bunch of fresh salsas along with some carnitas which are cooked and then fried pieces of pork which we're going to make into tostadas tonight from there we went to the Chinese grocery store and stocked up on fun noodles and different sauces, dried shrimp , quail eggs along with some Ginseng tea. Ginseng tea is great for raising your energy and improving your mood. It's one of the oldest Herbal Remedies known to man. The tea is an inexpensive way to take advantage of its qualities. From there we went to Whole Foods or as we call it whole wallet. We got some great bread some great cheese and some other groceries. it was a pretty expensive trip but everything that we got was edible and good good-for-you. it's been a long time since I could get through walking around 3 grocery stores in one day. my increased energy is due to my exercise. it was a wonderful day interacting with people from different cultures that help to make America the place that it is. the Chinese grocery store was the best part of the trip. I was able to buy four kinds of mushrooms I don't usually have access to. they were much less expensive than they would have been at say Whole Foods. I just got back from the gym. I went with my son mark. we hit the machines hard for over an hour and now I feel like a million bucks. my son says he does too.