@sillyblone
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I know the terrible devastating feeling of such a loss. My husband died of lung cancer in 2024. You are never prepared for it. But we have to remember that our loved ones are now up in Heaven and we will eventually in God's time be reunited with them. This keeps me going from day to day. I've enjoyed your helpful contributions on this site. It was a pleasure to read them. Put everything in God's hands. He will be there for you at this time. He was for me when my husband died and God still is there for me. I will say a prayer for you also.
I wish you the best.
PML