Good afternoon from Canada 🇨🇦🍁. I know exactly what you're speaking about. I had so much guilt before my liver transplant and after my liver transplant. I still have a bit of guilt. I think we've carried that through the rest of our lives. We will always be asking ourselves. Am I worthy? Am I doing the right thing? I found it was difficult until I met my donor's Mum. My donor was a young man. He did not even have a driver's license. It's kind of a long story, but I kind of knew who my donor was before I met his Mum. As there was a young man that attempted suicide by cop and a little strip mall walking distance from my home, then on the news they interviewed his dad and he talked about they were going to donate his organs and I remember saying to myself, what a blessing. Somebody's going to get an organ, not even thinking that I would be that recipient. I received my organ on the Canada Thanksgiving weekend. About a year later I received a letter from his Mum. Through thoughtful prayer and discussion with my husband, I decided to respond. We started with letters then it moved right into telephone to texting. We met in person at a local Tim Hortons which was close to where her son shot himself. It was a very difficult meeting but I will tell you meeting her has alleviated so much guilt and grief. She is a beautiful person and her family made the ultimate sacrifice of which I get to be alive today to see my grandchild grow up. We see each other at least four times a year. She lives in a community close to where I live. I remember her on mother's Day, Christmas, her birthday, my donor's birthday. I even call her Mum. We have a very special relationship. Also, we have a relationship with the lung recipient. The three of us get together regular because we share something that nobody else will ever share. Everyone's journey before, during and after transplant is different, I wish you the very best in your journey guidance through faith, love of family and maybe the opportunity to meet your donor family and see what a wonderful gift it is and they can see what their gift has meant to you. I am not the recipient that runs marathons and jumps out of airplanes and bungee jumps in the canyon. I'm not like that. I am just appreciative and grateful that I'm alive to see my first grandchild. Many blessings from a fellow transplant recipient from Canada. 🍁🇨🇦❤️